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Cheating Sometimes Improves Relationships

Updated on November 10, 2017

Cheating May be Beneficial in Realtionships

I know you’ll be wondering why I am writing about such a controversial issue? Because we all want a stable, successful relationship –whether it be for sense of security, company, sexual needs, money, or just to have a macho man or beautiful woman to show off to your friends and family, there isn’t a man or woman out there who doesn’t see the benefit in finding your perfect man or woman to settle down with. The emotional scars of broken trust are often raw, often aggravated and sometimes takes years to heal. I'm not encouraging cheating in a relationship, nor denying that it's wrong to cheat. I'm merely suggesting that in some cases, cheating may be beneficial to a relationship.

It has been found that some men and women cheat on their partners at some point in a relationship. Women have certain needs to be filled in relationships. They require a man who will be a protector, provider and companion. In the modern world, this mostly means financial security. Most women agree that men are prone to cheat. It’s sad, because it has been the downfall of many relationships. Despite the fact that men could lose half of everything they own and their children, they still stray. I'm not implying that every man should go out and be unfaithful, nor am I implying that all men cheat on every woman they marry. All it means is that at some point, infidelity overpowers faithfulness and men venture into forbidden territory.

There are different types of men out there- men who have sex with as many women as possible. Men want to have sex with as many attractive women as possible and women want, ultimately, have a man committed to her emotionally and sexually, excluding all other women. Men who cannot have sex with as many women as they desire due to a lack of skill, resources or other setbacks and finally, men who have the ability to have sex with as many women as they desire, but choose to remain faithful to one woman.

Cheating is not always bad; surprisingly, it can help to improve current relationships. Naturally, women too have the occasional desire to sleep with other men while in a committed relationship. Could acting on these impulses, as long as in this case it was kept secret, ever truly improve a romantic relationship? You may find nonchalant partner who will make you appreciate your own relationship even more. There are many nonchalant fun seekers in the dating world. Mainly, because there are so many of them out there to choose from, you may happen to find one of these fun seeking lovers in which to have your secret love affair with. His disrespectful, demeaning attitude towards you may be charming at first, but in the end it could end up making you appreciate your own husband. You'll realize your mistake and appreciate your lover a lot more after the horrible deed.

Cheating generally means that you are not fully satisfied with your current partner or you feel that something is missing in the relationship. When men cheat, it basically means that they are looking for something their girlfriend or wife is not providing. Often times, it comes down to sex. Men also like to explore and try new things. When people are in a relationship for a long time, they can't help but start taking their significant other for granted. Sometimes they forget just how great the woman they have really is. Men forget how wonderful it feels to have someone who loves them unconditionally. The benefit in this case is that once men do cheat, they realize that it is nothing special and probably won't do it again. Mot times when the lust factor has worn away they realize that the reality didn't measure up to the fantasy. This prevents them from being unfaithful again.

It’s a sad reality, but many women end up becoming bored, lonely, and sometimes even depressed when stuck in a monotonous, monogamous relationship for a long period of time. Most times, women cheat because they are frustrated and need to get emotional support. Relationships have ended up failing simply due to the fact that the people involved are bored out of their minds with each other. This is why it’s good to spice things up once in a while, at least for yourself, by adding a new, secret partner into your bed.

Men cheat because they feel they can get away with it. There are numerous married men whose tales of infidelity and numerous children outside of their relationship came to light only when they were dead. Sometimes, the men get away with it does not always mean that their spouses are not aware of their infidelity. It means that she could know, but chooses not to accept that reality to insulate her from the negative emotions that would inevitably arise as a result. There have been occasions where a woman remains with a man who often has sex with other women.

Some people believe that sleeping with other people expands your sexual expertise. You know what they say, practice makes perfect. Having multiple sexual partners ensures your exposure to many different ways to have sex, and ways to please people. This could add excitement to your lovemaking.

Cheating can help you realize relationships can and do end; and will help you realize your misery within your current relationship, and will likely give you that necessary shove to move on and stop wasting both your lover's and your own time. It creates the awareness that love has many unforeseen, but inevitable, twists and turns. Surviving the breakup of a marriage or, for that matter, surviving the loss of any cherished individual, can leave you a little wiser about love.

Cheating will enable you to distant yourselves from the intensity of extreme pain experienced during the breakup; you’ll be more capable of appreciating the gift of a meaningful, satisfying relationship and, with time, aspire to build such a relationship in the future.

Conclusion

Many will agree that the mature way to improve your relationship is to communicate openly, honestly and with integrity. There is the needs evaluate if needs of both partners are being met emotionally or sexually in the relationship. Cheating and sexual promiscuity has its inherent risks no doubt. The risk of Sexually Transmitted Diseases, unwanted pregnancies, vengeful partners, false rape accusations (for men) and of course, getting caught are just some of them. It requires a certain level of skill for telling lies.

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    • Chuksm profile image
      Author

      Anthony Modungwo 2 years ago from Benin

      Thanks dashingscorpio for your comment. We agreed to some extent because you agreed that, "However, it's clear that most cheaters expect to get caught." That is what I mean when I said that they feel they can get away with it. Thereby eating their cake and having it back.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      Voted up and interesting!

      However I do disagree with your one statement:

      "Men cheat because they feel they can get away with it."

      I believe everyone that cheats believes it's their (best option). Most cheaters aren't looking to replace one relationship with another. They want to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side.

      If for example a man is married, has children, a home, and his wife rarely wants to have sex with him. Odds are he is not going to run down to the courthouse to file for a divorce because his wife won't have sex.

      He looks at the cost of going through a divorce, paying child support and possibly alimony, moving out his home into a condo/apartment and becoming a weekend dad versus finding a woman who will have sex with him on the side. In his mind cheating sounds like the better "option"!

      Now if he were to get caught he could end up going through a divorce. However it's clear that most cheaters don't expect to get caught.

      Not long ago I asked a question on HP:

      Is sexual incompatibility enough of a reason to end a marriage?

      Over 90% of the people said "no". That's the conclusion a cheater reaches! However I bet if I were to ask: Would you rather your mate leave you or cheat on you? Most would opt for having their mate leave!

      Essentially it's the same question but asked from a different perspective.

      Everyone that cheats not just men do so because they believe they won't get caught. After all the definition for cheating is "breaking the rules" in order to win. A person cheats in order to feel happiness.