7 Reasons Why People Ghost You (Ghosting)
What is Ghosting?
Ghosting is used to describe a situation whereby a person you are in a personal relationship with decides to end all form of communication without giving a reason, justification, warning or explanation. We have all fallen prey to such a situation or have done it unintentionally whether we realize it or not we or they decide that a said person is no longer worth our time and words and just cut off contact.
The person who has been ghosted is unaware until they finally realize what has happened after a series of unanswered calls and un-replied messages. It is basically a crude way of removing a person from your life.
I have been on both sides of ghosting and while I don't condone it and admit it is a wrong thing to do, I have fallen victim to how easy it is to do and sometimes have ended up being called out on it which made the whole situation messy when it could just have been settled over tea or something of the sort.
Below are some reasons why people ghost.
1. Not confident enough
Most people tend to avoid wanting to tell other people that they would rather not want to be in any form or relationships with them anymore. It is a pretty awkward conversation to have with another person, which leaves you feeling like a monster and so ghosting is a get out of jail card to avoid having such a conversation as the thought that it'll save you both the stress and pain as no real hurtful words are exchanged in the process and so they take the easy way out as they are too passive to engage in such a conversation.
2. They're not interested
Imagine going on a date with a person or rather dating a person for a while and the person decides that they are just not into you anymore but rather than talking to you, they stop all communication with you instead. Rather than hurt your feelings by telling you "Hey, I was just not that into you." or "I'm no longer attracted to you." They prefer to spare your feelings and self-worth by leaving you hanging.
3. Lack of respect
A person who has no consideration for who you are as a person can decide to ghost you because they just don't think you deserve them to pay attention to you. In other words, they have no respect for you or what do and just think having you in their lives is a waste of them. They have little or no regrets about ghosting you as it is basically their way of telling you you're not as important as you think you are.
Have you ever been ghosted or ghosted someone else?
Most people don't even know what ghosting entails, they just don't reply to your messages because they don't want to or they don't know the impact it will have another person. They just ghost unintentionally as they live in their own personal "me bubble" and if brought to their attention in a face to face conversation, the problem would probably be rectified without a hitch.
5. Avoiding conflict
When a person does not know what your reaction will be to them telling you their reasons for ending a relationship or what their reaction to your reaction would be. They tend to stay far away before, during and after ghosting you because they refuse to be in such a situation and prefer being in a safe zone.
6. You don't get it
They've tried to talk to you about it, they actually took the time to talk to you more than once but you keep on coming back or doing the same thing, I'm sorry to say but one of the things that is going to happen is you finding yourself getting ghosted as you have no sense of boundries nor do you respect the said person's whishes. This is actually one of the justifible forms of ghosting.
7. New trend, hop onto the bandwagon
These are the worst kind of people, they ghost you just because they want to experiment with it to know what it feels like that is their only reason and they have no other motives. They hurt others just because they can and want to.
© 2017 Naomi Adeniji