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Reasons and Signs That Mean it's Time to Break Up

Updated on May 30, 2012

Signs of Abuse in Relationships

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Tips for Breaking Up With Someone

If the person you are breaking up with has a temper consider taking these precautions before breaking up with them:

  • Have someone you both know such as one of your parents go with you when the break up happens so you can do it peacefully and get any of your belongings in the process. This can also help you stay strong without changing your mind and giving in.
  • If you don't want someone to go with you let someone know when you get there and call them after to let them know everything went alright.
  • Get your things together when they aren't around and do it over the phone, through a text, or leave a note. This is the best way if your partner has a history of being verbally or physically violent toward you.

If you feel that you are safe when letting your partner know that you are leaving them there are some more simple ways to break up with them. However, keep in mind that even someone who has never worried you with violence can become violent when hurt by the news that you are leaving. Even if you are a male breaking up with a female it can still be dangerous. The easiest and most fair way to leave someone is to give them an honest reason this will only help them in the long run with future relationships. You can sit down and talk with your partner and express your feelings by telling them what is wrong and why you are not happy. Just remember that this is not the time to listen to why they are sorry and how they can change. If you have decided it's over this is merely a conversation letting them know you are done and that you wish them the best.

Good Reasons and Signs That You Should Call it Quits

There are so many reasons why ending a relationship is good sometimes. When your relationship is still new and isn't very serious it is a lot easier to break up with someone. However, when you are married or have been together for a while breaking up is a lot more difficult but sometimes necessary. Here are some common reasons and signals that you should break up with your partner:

  • You are just not happy. Even if you don't know exactly why you are not happy with your partner anymore this still means that there is something missing. You owe it to yourself and your partner to move on instead of trying and trying again to make it work.
  • Your partner seems very distant. This could mean a million things and your partner should have a clear reason for it when you approach them. If they disregard your question it could mean that there is some dishonesty going on or that they have become uninterested in your relationship.
  • When there is any kind of abuse in the relationship. This could be mental or physical, sometimes are all the time. It doesn't matter how or when it happens this is a clear sign that you need to leave the relationship. Some people might think that since they are not being physically abused that it is not that big of a deal. Any abuse is a huge deal and no matter how little the mental abuse occurs it still affects you emotionally.
  • You catch your partner in a lie. When people are manipulative and are caught lying they make it appear as if it shouldn't be an issue and that they did nothing wrong. Don't let dishonesty be present in your relationship. If it happens once it will most certainly happen again and it may be about something bigger next time.
  • When you partner doesn't let you spend time with your friends and family. This is a clear sign of control and it will only get worse as the relationship progresses. Although your partner is important to you, friends and family are always there and if you neglect those relationships you will be left without anyone if you split from your partner.
  • When addictions are shared or present. A lot people who have addictions find that they get along with people who have the same problems. When you decide that it is time to stop your partner might not agree and will hold you back from progress. If the addiction is just present in one of you, the other person will get tired of trying to save you if you aren't willing to listen and stop the habit.

These are just a few good reasons to end a relationship but are the major issues that I have seen people deal with and almost always end in bad situations before the break up happens.

How to Break Up With Someone You Love

Sometimes, even when we know we are in a bad relationship, or one that we know just doesn't have a future, we stay together with the other person because we love them and do not want to start all over with someone else. After a while, we become very comfortable with our partners and even when the going gets tough it is an environment we are used to and we believe that they will eventually see the light and change. After the negative actions are repeated again and again, and you have talked to your partner about the changes you want to see happen there is not much else you can do. If they are not willing to change or if you are not willing to make the necessary changes, all you can do is move on.

The most important part of a successful break up is to get to the point where you absolutely cannot deal with it anymore. You have to be fed up and see how much of a positive impact the break up will have on your life and hopefully your partner's. Instead of waiting around until they have seen the light you can now step away and hope that your leaving will have an impact on their thinking so they can have better future relationships. It will be tough but it's the best thing you can do for yourself after you realize you are in a bad relationship.


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      England 4 years ago

      I only very recently broke up with a man who I still love and still loves me but it was unhealthy and exhausting. The only reason that I now can clearly see that I stayed was because I got comfortable and used to all of the bad things to a point of where it, from anyone on An outside point of view would see that I had lost my self respect and self worth. It gets to that point if u remain complacent and fall into a pattern where u r no longer yourself. My recent ex was extremely mentally abusive and had on occasion been physically abusive also, but the mental is much worse. That changes u no matter how strong u know u r. U only realize this when u r out of the situation, and believe me u will; like an addiction, want to go back because u miss them for the good reasons that u fell for them in the first place, believe me those times r not coming back and it will only get worse or end in some horrible unimaginable consequence. The longer u stay under someone else's control, the further u lose who u really r yourself. He even now still attempts to control me by sending nasty texts with childish remarks and unrepeatable comments, accusations and hurtful words, but the difference now to his actions is I know I am fine now that I have left and moved out of his house, all the hard grueling things have been done and I am happier now even though I am also torn because I am sad. But I now know that the sadness is from the break of the routine I was stuck in. Some men have to have control over u even when u break up, these men r weak themselves, confident men, good men, a man that loves you, will not beat u down so he can feel comfortable that u will not leave him until he decides to move on, which he will and u will be left wondering why u didn't tell him u were unhappy and let him know all the reasons so he can possibly with some hope and optimism not do the same to another good person in the future. Look out my darlin women, these men are usually divorced with kids that predominantly live with their mums and more than likely are not close to family members, especially their mothers; and I don't mean they are horrid to them, but they are not close where they enjoy their company ( u know what I mean). These men are also charming and have a lot of great qualities to offer also, but buyer beware, this love u feel for each other will become normal and that will eventually turn to no physical or mental stimulation. As I am sure u have noticed with many wonderful things in life, the more exhilarating and overwhelmingly wonderful it is at the beginning, the quicker it burns out, like an amazing fire u just managed to get to burn perfect. These particular things are life affirming and necessary, but not forever. Try taking a chance on someone that u just like at first and see if it builds any affirming feelings in some time, the best things in life are worth waiting for and the most damaging are fast and fleetly.

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      helene 5 years ago

      I have been in a bad relationship for the past three years i keep telling myself he will change and be the man i fell in love with again but that day has never came and things just get worse. He now steals from me and has a drug addiction.

    • profile image

      lost Soul 5 years ago

      I'm older and no longer attractive to my husband. But he won't admit it's over. He has not touched me in about 12 yrs. now. What's the matter with me?

    • Sadie14 profile image

      Brittany B 5 years ago from U.S.

      Thank you Pam, i'm glad you got out of that situation and it's always great when you can remain friends.

    • Sadie14 profile image

      Brittany B 5 years ago from U.S.

      Hahaha Attikos! I'll have to add those to my reasons!

    • Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

      Marcy Goodfleisch 5 years ago from Planet Earth

      This is such important advice for people who are trying to figure out what to do in a relationship. All the points you mentioned are solid and helpful things to evaluate. Breaking up is difficult, but it's even more difficult to stay in a relationship that's slowly killing your spirit.

    • Pamela-anne profile image

      Pamela-anne 5 years ago from Miller Lake

      Good hub I myself recently ended a long-term relationship my ex and I have remained good friends. take care pam.

    • Attikos profile image

      Attikos 5 years ago from East Cackalacky

      When the coffee she gives you starts tasting like burnt almonds, she backs the car up fast while you're standing in the driveway, you begin finding venomous snakes in your bed, and she spends a lot of time sharpening the knives in the kitchen, it may be a sign you should wonder just how healthy your relationship is anymore.