- Gender and Relationships
Reasons why Some Men choose to be Single
Have you ever been in-love? Or did you love somebody? Well, the feeling that you love somebody and being love back is something that truly makes a person life worthy and wonderful. They say that being in a state of falling in love or spending love to one another makes human heart healthier indeed. Since, love is just interactions of human hormones, still, it is something everybody seeks or waited for their destined mate. They say your partner would be your destiny, when that time comes he/she will be part of your life and make it hotter and enthusiastic than before. Love that we felt, and then lead to relationships, that also measures how would you blend in with the opportunity to meet somebody. It is who you have might know or not and establishing yourself to make things work between another. And having such love affairs that I think for what I saw, felt, and heard from people I trust. Relationships can be classified in the following:
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1. Young Love
-This is the type of relationship commonly are couples with age ranging from 14 – 16 based in my observation from the society that I live in. Normally, you would see these couples in public places with a meter distance between each other and expresses their affection through letters and text messages, sometimes, via call and recordings. This is also the type of relationship that was build up by the help of a helping bridge either best friend or relative. Basically, it would have a sort of like kid staff interaction. No serious conversation (if they have) and like the kind of relationship when the girl saw the guy, she would jump with her excitement at highest point like the school’s most handsome guy is approaching towards her. They would usually hide their relationship just between them and other close friends that are involve in putting up their relationship.
2. Sweet Love
- The second classification is the relationship that moves to the next level. If, in young love, couples usually don’t show off their relationship in public. This time couples mostly spend their time together either public or private places. You can see those couples holding hands or kissing and hugging without concerning about what will other people say in such a younger age. Or also known as Public Display of Affection (PDA) wherein inappropriate actions are seen in public. Moreover in this stage they are starting to get confidence about their relationship, wherein they could get into personal trouble such as confrontation to their parents that leads to revolutionary act. They would push that “He/she is the only reason that I live! He/she is the reason I am still continuing my studies” but actually it’s just an alibi for their relationship’s approval. That was just one of the things that they could do at this point of relationship stage, because they are truly exercising what they know about love and expressing the way how they would feel comfortable on it. Also, another thing is that, their curiosity is starting to kick in and they would explore it that cause more trouble if limits are not set up. But in short, this is the phase that they are more serious about what they call their love relationship.
3. Love Game
- If the first two relationship classification are generally expressive in terms of human emotion. This third and final one is so different, because this is the form of relationship wherein both or either one of them are not actually seeking love but compliance for what reason they come up with. To make it clear and comprehensible an example is; Mark an 18 year old boy that want’s to prove his masculine side to his friends. And planned to court Jane, a 16 year old girl without experience about love. So, Mark would court her for achieving his own goal which is proving to his friends his guts. What I’m trying to say is that, he is not up to love but for different reason. There are other things why some people commit themselves to relationships other than love. It could even for power or money. But basically, love is being treated like a game. Some would win which is the prize of their goal and some will lose who suffers the loss being in love with somebody who does not truly love them.
Those three are the general classification of love that I observed which exist in our society. With different manner on how to express and different reasons why they come up with it. And as I can conclude maybe 98% of relationships are always in the hand of the guy who leads fights and maintain a good relationship with the full cooperation of its partner. Also, from the very beginning the man usually courts a woman to have relationships work. Except those other women who are desperately in love with somebody. But what I am truly am pointing out is that. Today from recent reviews, studies and surveys shows in my county (Philippines) there are more individuals who are currently under the single relationship status, including myself. Now my question is why is it? I mean, why is the survey results state that there are fewer couples in today’s love affair, specifically in teenage view that I find interesting. After considering those classifications, adapting to what real in recent life style I had come up with some reasons why men choose to be single:
1. Responsibilities for the commitment in the relationship
We all know that on relationship there are responsibilities and duties that we should comply with. Concentrating in the men’s side and applying from the three relationship classifications. These duties are the said reasons for the success and failure of the relationships by complying on it or not. Common duties are the time, over my experience being the guy of the relationship I must give, if I could, most of my time and devotion to make it work. When she’s trying to contact me either by text, emails or calls, I must answer it back after seconds or few minutes because if not it would cause a great quarrel for significant reasons. She would say “Busy with somebody else? Don’t have time for me?” and worse “You don’t really love me” Such things especially women got that very sensitive feelings and hormonal imbalance during their monthly periods. All those duties that some men can’t handle even all his strengths and ways are used. But what truly makes this as the first reason why men don’t want it, it’s because, some men don’t want responsibilities or somebody to blame him whenever things get messy. I myself don’t want responsibilities especially if I am not certain of what I am up to. Furthermore, there are also guys who don’t want someone to put limits on what he wants to. Some girls put boundaries for the benefit of what she thinks that would comply for the working of their relationship that cause a guy to experience controlling and discomforts.
2. Financial Availability
From what I said in the first reason which talks about responsibilities. Men also choose to be single because some of us aren't that lucky enough to have sufficient fund to continually provide physical affection in terms of things, foods, and places to go out with. Personally, when I am still in a relationship status it hurts me whenever I saw some other couples dating in romantic places and giving gifts that truly appreciated by their partners. So, it is painful because I could not give it to her. Well, what I do to feel better is that I would say “I don’t need those as long as I love her” but still in real world women needs those things. So, I decided to be single instead, no hurts between two of us and less expenses. And in the meantime, I would rather earn or save money so that whenever my love will come by I have something to use to express my love through that. So give time for now till you have the possession of sufficient money to be prepared in a relationship.
3. Uncertainty of the fact (Loving her with all I have but, she loves him better)
From the first two consecutive reasons that I stated this one is the worse above all. How? Well, simple as you kept on fighting and sticking to someone who actually don’t love you or even like you. Of course there are times persist ency gives good and outstanding results, but the fact that sometimes faith wasn't on your side and you were left alone. Lonely, till end while stuck to someone who treats you as what they call “Friend Zone” Wherein commonly she/he would entertain your motive of proposing and giving effort for winning love but in the end you would see his/her Facebook status to “In relationship”. Such pain, that every day you would feel and regrets from the beginning cause you already knew the weakness of your chance but still you kept on approaching that only cause more pain. So, my question is. Would you still cling with it?
Want to be prepared when time comes?
4. To avoid being hurt once again
In life, both sexes can cause pain to a relationship, factors such as respect, is one reason to endure pain. The pain that could break one relationship and someone’s heart and worse sometime you had given it all up for it. In general, yes it is normal in man’s life but, there are times women do give the pain. From above, classifying the three types of relationship I had mentioned that some reasons why individuals come to a relationship is to comply whatever reasons what they have. In this case a woman who just wants to flirt or mess around (some women do, take note some only) or chose someone else from her current guy and the worse is that she would say “I love him more” such words that give rise to a pain that a guy would experience. Thereto, some can even commit suicide due to excessive love towards her and just vanish in a blink of the eye. Naturally, men are not that type of person who show’s his true emotion or state of mind to everybody and even to his family. As a result disclosure of the cause would only come in the late time. And I think, because of those reasons I would rather stay foot being single as soon as my destiny would come and certainty that it is her, the woman I will spend my life till death.
The feeling of being love is always something worthy to fight for, but again, a man would choose to be free just to assure things won’t cause him pain and wait till someone at the moment would come and call her his Ms. Right. Destiny as they say. But for now, as some of men’s nature, not yet prepared for responsibilities, financial issues, uncertainty towards the future among whom they choose and the pain that some won’t like to experience again would be more gladly in a state of freedom as the sense of being single. And always remember not all men seek love just for the meantime. But most men dream of having someone who could grow old with, spend night and day, share thoughts, love, happiness, sorrow and even pain that make their relationship stronger. Give new life to their future children. Be the ideal parents that they can, provides all the needs of his family would have. Fulfill his course as a man. And at the point of his glorious time he would stand tall and be proud and satisfied man and thankful of where his feet has led him, and to the ground that meets his destiny as of the future speaks through, And of what God prepared on his realistic and favorable life that he explored and succeed in his own way.