ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Relationship red flags: Signs that your relationship is in trouble

Updated on June 6, 2011
Relationship problems
Relationship problems | Source

The importance of detecting red flags in your relationship

The quality of a relationship usually determines the frequency of your good times and how easily you can cope with the bad ones. In long-term relationships, there would be several problems to iron out from time to time. After all, obstacles and conflict are natural. However, there are some signals when a relationship deteriorates into an unhealthy liaison. Missing any one of the red flags in your relationship would not be good for you or your relationship in the long run.

1. Dishonesty

Sometimes persons are dishonest to protect themselves or out of fair of being judged. On the other hand, dishonesty is usually an attempt to deceive. It contradicts one pillar of relationships – trust. Regular dishonesty – even on apparently trivial matters – may significantly undermine trust in a relationship. You know your relationship is in trouble if you do not have confidence in your partner’s words or actions.

2. Abuse

Abuse can manifest itself in various ways. It does not matter if the nature of abuse is verbal, emotional physical or sexual abuse; it is more than a red flag – more like a neon sign that all is not well. Verbal and emotional abuse can be addressed through therapy, but it often happens that the factors that spur them translate to other forms of abuse. Abuse not only weakens and distorts relationship bonds, but it replaces it with fear, distrust and other negative emotions. It is a very obvious red flag, but its precursors – possessiveness, jealousy and sadism – are also worrisome indicators.

We Love Each Other, but... Simple Secrets to Strengthen Your Relationship and Make Love Last
We Love Each Other, but... Simple Secrets to Strengthen Your Relationship and Make Love Last

We Love Each Other, But...offers simple, practical tips that will help you restore and strengthen a relationship that has gone off track. It lays out the nuts and bolts of building relationships so they continue to be gratifying over the long haul.


3. Communication problems

In a wholesome relationship, communication should occur frequently and past a superficial level. Indeed, true intimacy is facilitated by communication involving shared personal thoughts and feelings. In Robert Sternberg's triangular love theory, blind love (passion and commitment without intimacy) or empty love (commitment without passion or intimacy) is the direct result of low intimacy. Eventually, the two persons would drift apart, but the emotional disconnect happens slowly.

4. A negative change in your partner's behaviour

Often, when persons are unfaithful, their partners might be able to detect a significant change in behaviour – although they might shrug it off. Whether the negative changes are sudden or gradual, they are not a good omen. A negative change in increases the “disconnect” between partners. In some cases, it is a sign of disenchantment, dissatisfaction or even guilt. Whatever the cause or consequence of negative behaviour, it is a red flag flown at full mast.


5. The roving eye

Although some persons can’t resist eye candy, the more satisfied you are with your current relationship, the easier it will be to resist it. If you find that other persons get your partner's attention all too easily, something might be amiss. Some persons are just flirts, but stream run into rivers and rivers into seas; it could easily morph into infidelity at some level.

What if your relationship has a few blazing red flags? The good news is that not all red flags spell doom for your relationship. Indeed, there are few problems that are too insurmountable for relationship help. Early detection and treatment can eliminate them and preserve your well-being.

How many red flags does your relationship have?

See results


Submit a Comment
  • SpiffyD profile imageAUTHOR


    6 years ago from The Caribbean

    Don't mean to boast, but it's cold when it's about 22 degrees Celsius (78 F) down here! :)

  • Theresa_Kennedy profile image

    Theresa Kennedy 

    6 years ago from Minnesota

    I see you are posting from The this time of year in the frigid North (today the windchill is -52 degrees Celsius, BRRRR!), I sure wouldn't mind writing from one of those tropical locations!

  • SpiffyD profile imageAUTHOR


    6 years ago from The Caribbean

    Thanks for the read and comment Theresa. Of course I don't mind. I look forward to reading a few of yours as well!

  • Theresa_Kennedy profile image

    Theresa Kennedy 

    6 years ago from Minnesota

    Very honest and to the point. I'm sure you won't mind that I'm linking to this from one of my hubs?

  • SpiffyD profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from The Caribbean

    Thanks Jlava. I hope to read some of your hubs as well.

  • Jlava73 profile image

    Jennifer Vasconcelos 

    7 years ago from Cyberspace and My Own World

    Good Article! You provide some great insights. :)


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)