- Gender and Relationships»
- Singles Life
Reflections from Within
The moment you realize your alone
Welcome Readers! This article is about what to do next when you realize your single. This can be a scary time for some people because of the fear of being alone or because you just realize maybe the bullshit of a relationship might be better than the bullshit inside of your own head. Well fear not readers because I have devised a plan for you to better transition into your status. Even if you have been single for awhile this plan might give you some new insight on some things you could do. Before we get into it, I must state for the record I am not a medical professional and my advice shouldn't be used in replacement of medical treatment. My advice is opinion based and used from basic psychology and observation of many relationships. Now with that being said I welcome you to leave a comment and your feedback at the bottom of the page. Just please do so respectfully and please don't leave hateful comments because those will be deleted. Thank you!
Plan Advice Tip #1
Now when your alone you tend to hear your own voice inside of your head speak to you. Or you replay events about things that happened to you. Or you find yourself actually trying really hard to start new friendships or go out because you just need to talk to someone. First things first, you have to accept that this is NORMAL behavior. Why? Simply because as human beings are first natural instinct is to form attachments with others. This started from the time you were inside your mother's stomach. So don't beat yourself up about needing to get out or needing your friends more than ever.
Plan Advice Tip #2
With that being said this brings us right along to number two. Listen to yourself. As silly or crazy as it might sound, learning to trust yourself is key. If your still reeling from having a broken heart, or your last failed relationship, then really listen to that voice inside your own head. What is it saying to you? If your main concern is that you didn't listen to yourself and see what was coming. Remember your ego is probably crushed to bits, but you have to fix yourself. Your ego is apart of your self-esteem, so don't be your own worse enemy. This is a time of healing and finding yourself. So remember to tell yourself that you learned from your mistakes. Listening to yourself means that you have to become your own best friend. If you find your own inner voice is angry than try to resolve the conflict. Do something about it. You don't have to enslave yourself to bad memories. It's time to listen and reach understanding. Not to keep hurting yourself or running from yourself.
Plan Advice Tip #3
This is probably the most important tip but can't be reached unless you have completed number one and two. Reflection. Once you have reached a calm state of mind and have become happy with yourself. It is time to do some reflection. All reflection really is, is being able to see things objectively instead of personally. That is very important. Whatever the reasons for being single remember everyone makes mistakes. Now is the time to evaluate those mistakes. Maybe you were to needy or had unrealistic expectations. Maybe the other person is exactly what you don't want in a mate. Maybe you were lying to yourself from day one about being attacted to this person. Maybe you or they were in the relationship for the wrong reasons. Or just maybe you both grew apart. You need to find those answers by looking at what went wrong objectively. This practice shouldn't make you feel bad or make you angry because if it does than you still looking at things personally. If you do that you won't be able to evaluate the cause because your too emotionally invested still.
Plan Advice Tip #4
This is the last step in the plan for making the single life just a little bit more enjoyable. Don't rush, take your time. Good things don't happen over night. Heart break doesn't heal over night and love doesn't happen over night. Both of those take a lot of time. So don't rush yourself better because in the end your just fooling yourself. Really wait until you become your own champion and understand exactly what you want in life and what you want out of a mate. Wait until you can have the strength to see and say no to someone who doesn't meet your expectations. Get rid of those things or feelings that keep your self-esteem low. Understand and do better. Once you feel like yourself again just keep in mind not to run into the arms of the first person who pays you attention. Really take the time and pick out someone who you can love and trust completely. Being single is not a PUNISHMENT. It is an OPPORTUNITY to find and do better in life. It is your chance to do what you need to do to better yourself. It is only a punishment if you make it. If you let yourself be defeated by loneiness and pain. Their is someone for everyone and it is your job to be patient and wait for your perfect fit.
Great Song by my favorite band
For my closing words from me to you my readers is to always have a plan. Even if it doesn't work because it gives you a reason to move on. A purpose. Even if this plan doesn't suit your tastes at least you have some idea of what is out there. Don't be ashamed if you need medical advice and intervention because sometimes the pain can be overwhelming for one person. The key to life is to find exactly what works for you. So I hope you found this article somewhat helpful and enjoyed reading it! Until next time readers take care of yourself, ciao.
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