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Relationship Advice - Arguing

Updated on January 18, 2019
fer-nie profile image

Fernando is a millennial writer, natural philosopher, and Mechanical Engineer looking to reinterpret social subtleties and add social value.

Introduction

When you have something to say, how do you express it? The way you speak to your partner can make all the difference. Sometimes, couples don’t understand the impacts of arguments. In fact, some couples don’t even give much thought into arguments to begin with. They still believe they’re healthy in all ways. They are healthy to some point, as they are normal. However, there are some general guidelines to look through and to understand before you give the argument an all-go.

Arguing

It’s healthy, but it’s not something you would want to do daily. And there are a few reasons why.

  • Arguments are stressful. Nobody likes to feel like there’s something wrong. Especially when your partner is coming at you.
  • They can be detrimental to the progress of the relationship. Hey, if someone’s a little under the weather, an argument could hurt the relationship. In fact, relationships usually don’t feel the same after so many arguments. So, if you truly had a choice, don’t argue.
  • They are not the same as discussions. Discussions – in all honesty – are much healthier for a relationship. Without any spite or aggressive tone, a couple can have a general discussion about anything they want to talk about. When you’re arguing with your partner, it’s just not the same.
  • There’s no guarantee they will be positive. Good luck if you’re having a bad day: arguments aren’t guaranteed to be pretty.

Arguing has its drawbacks, especially when you and your partner can’t find a conclusion in a timely manner.

The Ill Received Message

Just because you want to get your point across doesn’t mean it’ll be received accordingly. And just because your partner doesn’t agree with you doesn’t mean you have to agree to try something new. And this is the problem when it comes to these sorts of arguments: you just can’t find a middle ground. And this is the type of arguments that we all dread.

When you’re feeling under the weather – or your partner isn’t feeling too well – why argue? Save it for the morning. There’s no reason to give it your all on this day, and timing is key to a healthy argument.

Interestingly, arguing is as essential as it is bad. When you’re arguing with your significant other, it’s because something came up that you want to clear things up about. There is a disagreement between you two, and either one or both of you want it resolved. So, there’s nothing wrong with this. This is perfectly OK, and it happens in relationships all the time.

However, as mentioned before, it depends on the context and what’s going on at the time. You don’t want to do it all the time, and you want to be weary of your partners’ emotions and your own. After all, some partners just don’t have a filter and want to find some extra drama in their lives.

What to Do

There are different forms of arguing, and not all of them are the healthiest for a relationship.

You recognize the issues and have acknowledged you have more power over your relationship than you think. The amount of influence your words have are both astounding and astonishing. If you are in the mood to destroy your partners’ feelings, you can choose to. If you want to build that person up, you may. Your partners’ feelings are in your hands. It’s debatable whether this is a good thing, as it’s usually for the better. But just remember that your partner is just as human as you are, and you need to take great care of that person’s feelings.

You are fully capable of turning your relationship into whatever you want. After all, the act of arguing isn’t the issue. It’s the resulting habit of how the couple deals with those issues and what comes out of it. As soon as you realize these things, you have already come far as an adult.

© 2019 Ferny Vise

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    • fer-nie profile imageAUTHOR

      Ferny Vise 

      2 years ago from San Francisco, CA

      Thanks for sharing your opinion, Joseph.

      A healthy relationship is truly a jewel to be sought after.

    • Joseph Leal profile image

      Joseph Leal 

      2 years ago from Alamo, Texas

      I like the article because it shows just how much control we have to help or injure a relationship. A lot of times it is very difficult to refrain from arguing because our nerves jump at us. We tell ourselves we will not argue or upset another, but then it becomes all we seem to do. We need to take a look at the arguments our partner is making and we need to realize that there is some type of blockage occurring in them. When we choose to understand their pain, we can choose take their accusations and words with light. Meaning if they want to argue it is because they feel threatened and hurt in some way. If we seem to only know how to argue, then one is not healthy enough to be in a relationship.

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