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Relationship Advice: Rule Out the Crazies and Time Wasters

Updated on August 30, 2019

Relationships are hard especially if both parties are in it for the long haul and willing to stick together through the good times and bad times. I am not an expert but I am very good in the relationship category for those who are having a hard time fining someone or maintaining their semi healthy relationship. The issues and solutions I would like to touch on are: trust issues, building within the relationship, and self love.


No one is perfect and we all come with our own set of issues but you can find true happiness and grow if both parties are willing to stick together. To begin the soulmate search, you must start with yourself. Self love is important and know that you must look out for yourself first! Only you can have your own back, don’t expect someone else to fully protect you. I’m speaking to the ladies on this one. We must be independent, fierce, and strong. We are the headquarters of our relationships and we are nurturers by nature. Put yourself first and know your worth before jumping into a relationship. How your character is, is what you would want your soulmate to match. Yes, it’s okay if you’[re better at certain things than your significant other but it all balances out!


Ask questions now, not later!


When you find your match, ask questions! Do google searches to research him/her. Get to know that person, look at the body language, pay attention to how they respond and react to situations. It can be as small as misspelling words when they text you, or as big as their future goals and what they are looking for in a partner. You will be able to rule out that individual instantly if they do not have answers to your questions or get angry because you were asking questions. Each of you should bring something to the table that don’t include stress. Have each other’s back and build together. If the person don’t know what they want in life or don’t have any goals, please move on from them. We don’t have time to train a grown man. If you are the one with no goals or don’t know what you want in life, then you’re not ready for a relationship. You’re not ready for THE relationship.


Trust, Trust, and Trust


You must have trust! No searching through phones and wanting to see who they are texting or talking to. I know plenty of women who are insecure that way and it’s a major turn off, in general. Don’t keep secrets, neither of you! Starting a relationship with secrets is a disaster waiting to happen. You both need to agree in coming into the relationship with openness and read to take on any issues big or small. If at any point of the relationship you are not trusting each other, the relationship is doomed and over.


Relationship Goals


You want to find someone that has goals and working towards them just like you are! We want to move forward not backwards and definitely not wanting to play high school games. Playing games in the relationship is childish and that definitely means neither of you are ready for that ULTIMATE relationship. Support each other, show interest in each other projects, work, hobbies, etc. Support is another key factor. If you don’t have support for one another then that creates negative energy and this situation makes the other person walk on eggshells and we definitely don’t want that. If you’re holding back on speaking your mind or expressing your opinion because you’re afraid of what the other person might say, then you are being fake and you or them are making yourself strangers with each other. Don’t be a representative. Be who you are and be honest and happy with who you are, remember you’re wanting to grow old with each other, build a legacy for your family, and ride out life with each other until you can’t anymore.


I’m only expressing my opinion and although there’s way more to a relationship, I believe the advice and pointers I’ve expressed in this article can rule out the men/women who are not ready for that ULTIMATE relationship. I am living proof that it can and will happen!


This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      23 months ago from Chicago

      A lot of people are looking for traits in others which they themselves do not possess. Essentially they aim out o their league.

      The easy part is to create a list of "must haves" and wants.

      The hard part is imagining yourself being your "ideal mate" and looking back at yourself asking the following question:

      "If I were him/her would I want (me)?"

      If the answer is "no" you need to cultivate the traits you believe such a person would want in a mate. Remember you're not the only one who is doing "shopping".

      Secondly just because two people don't want the same thing doesn't mean one person is a saint and the other is jerk.

      They're just "wrong" for (you)!

      Last but not least beware of the person who tells you they are ready to get married and they don't even have a boyfriend or girlfriend!

      Ideally the "special person" you are already with should be the reason why you're suddenly having thoughts about marriage.

      Otherwise you're just someone chasing after a marital status in search of a "prop"!

      Don't be afraid to invest some time getting to know someone and allow for the possibility that things can evolve.

      Dating isn't a waste of time.

      Being married to the wrong person is a waste of time.

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