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Relationship Ideas and Thoughts for Committed Couples
Playing the Blame Game Will Destroy Your Relationship
If you are still upset because he should have, could have, or didn't want to have, then look out for the danger sign ahead in your relationship! Whether you are male or female, playing the blame game produces no winners, only losers! She wants to be right so bad she can taste it! He wants to prove her wrong so much, it hurts! When issues like these get the best of our relationships, it isn't any wonder why one or both want to put an end to it all, but not so fast! Consider how much you love this person, how much work it will be to start all over with someone else (meet their family, children, ex--ugh!?), and besides what are the benefits (maybe not now), but in the future if you should stick it out with your partner (spiritual gifts, travel, money, fame, power etc.)? If it's not broken, don't throw it away!
What Might You Do to Improve Your Relationship?
Have you ever felt like your relationship is going no where? What might be the reason?
Are you in an abusive relationship?
I Got an Idea...
"I got an idea!" These words uttered from someone who thinks you are near and dear to his or her life should sound like a blessing to you and not a curse, but if this person seems to be giving you ideas that require work, irritate you, or make you feel like you rather be alone, you might want to check yourself.
Sharing ideas is a part of relating to one another in a relationship whether you agree with them or not. When one feels like she or he isn't being heard, uh oh, consider getting some ear muffs the next time you two have a dispute. Somewhere in that conversation someone is going to yell, "Whenever I try to share something with you about what I think, you shut me out! You don't act like you care! Why do I bother even telling you anything!" To make matters worse, you might even act critical at that moment during your partner's outburst about his or her idea, bad move!
When listening to your partner share what's on his or her mind, be quiet, nod or say something like, "Oh...hmmm...wow...what?" When asked to give your thoughts about what is being said, "I need some time to think about it...never thought about that...will need to check up on that...let me see?" Utilize your time wisely "to think", otherwise you will be caught off guard one day with, "So honey, have you given my idea some thought?" Duh?
I Don't Love You Okay Well Maybe I Do
It happens frustrated with job, children, partner, in-laws, neighbors, money, you name it and in the middle of an argument someone says, "I don't love you anymore!" At that moment, maybe he or she didn't that is until a partner has had some time to think, now what?
If you are ready to end it all, then you should seriously back it up with some action. Now if you aren't guilty for the slip of the tongue, you might want to see if your partner means what he or she says. Chances are this person doesn't! When someone doesn't love another he or she is going to do some things to let not only the witness know, but the whole world! The Facebook status changes, relatives are told about the soon-to-be breakup, items for partner and household are gradually cut-back or no longer bought, and routines change. Now if you don't see much of anything resulting from the "I don't love you" outburst and you aren't doing anything to make this statement truthful, then give your partner a pass. Things happen, words hurt and so we move on.
What have you done nice lately for your sweetie/honey, sugar bear, love muffin?
Sometimes we get busy and forget about our loved ones. What have you done to make your partner smile lately?
Meet a troubled couple in the Holy Bible...
Is it Really the End?
Putting aside all the books you have read, movies you have watched, and Internet surfing when it comes to relationships, and what do you have? Flawed human beings. Two people in a relationship that have a choice to be together or move on. The quality relationships stick it out and work through challenging times. Yet, problematic ones that are often under heavy pressure come to an end. No amount of counseling, arguing about the relationship, buying gifts, taking trips, or doing much else will keep anyone together when one or both have already made up in their minds they are ready to break up.
Quitting is something that we have been taught is a bad thing. However, when one has been emotionally and physically abused and gets out, there is absolutely nothing wrong about quitting. To see someone who was once miserable, broken, and unhappy in a bad relationship break free is a good thing! Quitting is very much needed. But when quitting becomes bad is when you can see that the other person is really trying to make it with you, yet you insist on leaving anyway. You have to ask, why? What is so bad about the person you are with that you must break up. Be sure you are sure. Too often people confuse a needed break with breaking up. Sometimes a partner is simply tired of his or her mate, don't be blinded by Hollywood film romances--that's normal. It's okay to have some time away as one old song suggests. Other times, couples are grappling with major issues and need to make necessary adjustments that might require a temporary separation, it happens. You're not doing a bad thing if you or your mate suggests this. But throwing the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak, isn't necessary when it is quite obvious that two people still love, care, appreciate, and will fight for one another.
Take a moment, cut off the music, stop the Internet surfing, and conversing with others, and think: what is in my power to do concerning our relationship? How can I ease the tension, be more kind, loving, gentle, helpful, etc.? Then do the best you can.
© 2012 Nicholl McGuire