- Gender and Relationships
Can Early Infants - Parents Attachment Styles Affect Adults' Love Relationships?
Often times, some relationship issues could be avoided, if we only knew more about love, or had taken the time out to know our prospective partners better. For example, if only we had had the knowledge about infant- parent attachment styles, and how they may affect our adult's love relationship beforehand, this could have prevented us from getting in some of our most regretful relationships.
From a developmental standpoint, it's believed that us human-beings have learned different things about love, during an early stage of our lives, in particular, during early childhood; as a result, our adult relationships differ. More specifically, it has been said that adults show three major styles of love relationship, which copy the types of attachments that had developed between them and their parents, in particular mothers, who are usually the primary caregivers during early infancy(early infants-parents attachments).
Because the style of love relationship that we often demonstrate during adulthood is usually a replica of the early infants-parents attachment styles we had experienced, it's of paramount importance that we examine these types of attachments that are usually developed between infants and their parents, according to researchers, in order to get a better understanding as to how each type of attachment may affect adults' love relationships.
The following are the three styles of attachment and their effects on Adults' love relationships.
1.Secure Style Of Attachment
Adults who have received this type of attachment during early childhood, are believed to find it much easier to get close to a partner without feeling uncomfortable relying on him/her. They seldom worry about being abandoned or having someone demanding too much intimacy of them. They are usually described as confident,likeable and opened.
2.Anxious/Avoidant Style of Attachment
These adults usually feel uncomfortable when someone tries to get close to them. According to human development experts, they don't like to be dependent, and they also don't easily completely trust another person. They are usually seen as relatively defensive.
3.Anxious/Ambivalent Style of Attachment
You will often hear these people complaining that their partners are unwilling to get as emotionally close as they would like. They often question their partners love for them or in other words, they often think their partners don't really love them and might break-up with them soon. They tend to scare people away from them sometimes, because of their desire to get extremely close to them. They can be somewhat clingy. They are usually found to be self-conscious , insecure,and preoccupied with relationship issues.
Many human behavior specialist strongly believe that these three above styles of attachment are as a result of the child's relationship with parents during infancy. They have also come to realize that adults' descriptions of their parents' behavior toward them during early childhood could be used to determine the nature of their most important adult love relationships.
Based on findings, individuals with a secure style of attachment, frequently describe their parents as generally warm and supportive. Contrarily, those with an anxious /avoidant style of attachment, often mention that their parents were demanding, critical, and uncaring. Finally,those with an anxious/ambivalent style of attachment, frequently described their parents as unpredictable -- sometimes responsible, and other times not.
Based on all that has been discovered about early infant-parent attachment styles and how they may affect later adult love relationship, it seems as if, by just listening attentively to how a man or a woman describes his/her parents, in particular mothers, this could tell us what to expect of that person or the relationship issues we might experience, if we were to pursue a love relationship with that man or woman.
Copyright (c) I. McFarlane 20012