Happily Ever After, Really?

Happily ever after...does it exist? Well, yes and no. OK, let me elaborate on this. I have been in a few long term (long term, as in over a year) relationships and the man I am with now, has been in my life for almost ten years now. So, I do consider myself married, although we never actually had a wedding. Oh, and we have a daughter, so yeah, I'd say we are pretty committed. Would I see my relationship as one of those Walt Disney Classics, where he kissed me back to life, swept me off my feet, sat me on his white horse, and we rode into the sunset towards his castle just at the edge of the horizon? Um, no. It surprises me though, how many people expect that kind of romance from their relationships. Women expect to be treated like princess's, and men expect to be treated like kings. I really don't understand that logic, mostly because it's not logical. What year is it again?

Time to get real, with yourself, who you are, and what you are willing to compromise on. That's right, compromise. How many times have I heard people say, "Why should I compromise?" and "Why should I settle for less then perfect?". Truth is, compromise is one of the elements that makes a relationship work. To be in a successful relationship both you and your partner will have to be willing to compromise on almost a daily basis. "Whoa, whoa, a daily basis?", you ask. Well, if your an adult, and you want to eventually live with someone, yes, it will be a daily internal battle as to how you will react to your spouse, when he or she say...leaves their dirty laundry on the bedroom floor instead of the hamper, or ignores the dirty dishes in the sink, even though you have given them ample time to clean up without verbally prompting them to do so. If you think your relationship is hard now, and your not even living with your significant other, just wait. In fact, if your having a difficult relationship with someone before you live together, you might as well throw in the towel now. Let's just say, there are red flags are all over the field in front of you and you're about to step on a landmine. If you don't like my analogy, that's fine, I am just speaking from experience. Crazy as it sounds, the only thing that gets an easier after you decide to live with your partner, is paying the bills. Now, you might think I am being negative, not really, just keeping it real.

Believe or not, relationships are supposed to be hard. Now, before you get all defensive and get your back up about it, read on. The difficult times and stress your relationship endures will show you how committed you are to eachother. If you can't survive the tough times together, then it's not meant to be, sorry about your luck. Life is a challenge, it's how we, as human beings on this planet learn; through experiences, good and bad. The person by your side has to be the kind of person who will still love you for who you are, with all your faults, even in the most desperate of situations. If you've just read that last sentence, and you know for sure you have found the person, congratulations. If you're not sure, then you're probably with the wrong person, but don't despair, time will tell you all you need to know about your current relationship. After ten years of being with the same guy, I can honestly say that I still love him. I am not going to sit here and say that our spark has never been diminished, because it has, we've been through some tough times, but we can reignite it pretty quick, and we still care for eachother even when we are mentally cussing eachother out. He is my best friend, and knows me inside and out, and still loves me. So no, I don't live in a castle, and he is definately no Prince Charming, but we make things work, and work is what all relationships need to stay alive and healthy.