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Relationships: What men want from relationships

Updated on June 13, 2011

Men are typically stereotyped as cavemen who seek to sow their oats anywhere and with anyone. Indeed, it is deceptively easy to conclude that men seek relationships for one thing and one thing only – sex.

While the behavior of many men promotes this stereotype, closer examination reveals that men are complex beings with multiple needs. In an intimate relationship, physical intimacy is important to men (and some women), but there are many other significant needs as well.

Fidelity and commitment

Ok, so men are not always beacons of these qualities, but ask any man – a woman’s fidelity is a top priority. This is not surprising, as females are far more tolerant of infidelity than males, and male infidelity is generally viewed far more favorably.

Acknowledgement and appreciation

Humans usually perform best when they feel like they are important, loved and cherished. Men need to feel worthy and appreciated, and their partners are the first port of call when it comes to this.

Simple and straightforward communication

While women are better communicators, men have their moments. Men are in their element when the communication is honest, timely, and straightforward. That means that playing mind games while his favorite sport is on TV might not be too clever.

What Men Really Want (Signet)
What Men Really Want (Signet)

Provocative and informative. Herb Goldberg gives an insight into the minds of men. This information can help you better understand and improve interaction with the men in your lives.


Fun and enjoyment

Were it not for happiness, life would not seem worth living. Many men enjoy having fun beyond the sheets with their partners. Whether it’s a shared activity or a good sense of humor, men want to enjoy their partner and feel good about the partnership.


While this can extend to acts of thoughtfulness or just a good home-cooked meal, it can apply to emotional needs as well. When the chips are down, men want to know that their partners would support them. Whatever hardship relationships may bring, men expect more comfort within it than without it.

What men want from relationships usually goes beyond what they look for in their ideal woman. That men want more than good looks, nice home-cooked meals or fantastic lovers is essential knowledge for a long-lasting, loving relationship.


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  • jellygator profile image

    jellygator 5 years ago from USA

    At one time or another, my husband has verified every point you made.

  • Vanita Nagpal profile image

    Vanita Nagpal 6 years ago from gurgaon


  • profile image

    Justsilvie 6 years ago

    Excellent! I really enjoyed your hub and your viewpoint on the subject.

  • SpiffyD profile image

    SpiffyD 6 years ago from The Caribbean

    I think you're right Kate. There is a significant degree of overlap; perhaps there may be different points of emphasis or a couple of differences.

  • KateWest profile image

    KateWest 6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

    I'd say both genders would be happy with the above.

  • QudsiaP1 profile image

    QudsiaP1 6 years ago

    Excellent hub; you have done a very good job putting down a simple man's perspective.