ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Robotic Futures | Meet Your Tiny Robot Girlfriend

Updated on October 14, 2009

You know what's wrong with most girlfriends? They'll barely make you a cup of coffee most of the time, let alone grind the beans themselves. That's the problem with women today, a lack of dedication to their men. No wonder many perfectly normal chaps are turning to robots to have the most basic of their needs fulfilled.

Observe the dedication of this most excellent robot:

For more

Ignore that bit at the end where she tips over at the wrong place and pours freshly brewed hot coffee all over the table. She's still an improvement on real women, we're more likely to mistakenly pour the coffee in men's laps anyway, am I right? Hell yeah!

Now that the tiny robots we were always promised have arrived, humans have been freed from the rigors of inter-human. communication (I must admit, I always found it tiresome. People are so, peoplish, always with their emotions and their untidy excretions.) Robots come with none of these disadvantages, instead they are perfect in their logic. This will no doubt come as a relief to men unable to keep up with the wild mood swings and illogical arguments that we human women thrust upon our partners at regular intervals.

Humanoid Girlfriend: “Does my ass look fat in this?”

Reasonable Human Man: “No honey, you look great,”

Humanoid Girlfriend: “Really?”

Reasonable Human Man: “Yes, really. It's much better than the green one.”

Humanoid Girlfriend: “Are you saying I'm fat!?”

Reasonable Human Man: “No, god no, I've never said you were fat. Now your mom, she's fat.”

Humanoid Girlfriend: “You hate my mom!”

Reasonable Human Man: “Yes. Make me some coffee.

And that's where a guy gets a lap full of coffee, through absolutely no wrong doing of his own. The conversation goes quite differently with a robot girlfriend.

Robot Girlfriend: “........”

Awesomely Happy Human Man: “Make me some coffee.”

Robot Girlfriend: “........”

Coffee is then adorably held out for your drinking convenience.

Note that the Robot Girlfriend in the video has not been provided with a voice. The Robot Girlfriend will never nag you to pick your dirty underwear off the floor, brush your teeth, or go to work. The Robot Girlfriend will sit quietly by whilst you play video games until 2 am in the morning, making you cup of coffee after cup of coffee until you suffer a massive heart attack and are discovered, months later, sitting blissfully in your own filth, the WoW disconnect screen merrily twinkling as your faithful little robot girlfriend holds a now mold encrusted cup of coffee up for your pleasure. Now that, my friends, is true love.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • profile image


      9 years ago

      God bless my human GF Hope, she's taken everything I've thrown her way. From my affinity for ladies undergarments to my comments that it wasn't the outfit that made her butt look big, it was in fact, her butt that made it look big. Even after all that she still makes me coffee in the morning from fresh ground beans and then brings it to me the mornings I'm still home after she wakes. I think I'll keep her for a while longer.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)