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Romance: When to Make the Grand Gestures

Updated on August 17, 2011

I suppose the day that the majority of guys get the most nervous about is Valentine's Day. All that pressure, all the expectations, the heart pounding nerves will get to you when you have a wife or girlfriend or even if you're with a girl you're not quite sure about. It's the one day that most women look at the man that they're with and they expect him to get off his lazy arse and do something for them, make them feel special and loved.

But what about the other days of the year? Why just one day?

The beauty about being in a relationship is that there's shouldn't be any set time to do anything special for the person that you're in love with; whether it's the guy doing something for the girl, or the girl doing something for the guy. However, a lot of the pressure, unfortunately falls on the guy and that he's supposed to do something, and a lot of guys are willing, they just want some advice. Sometimes they just want someone to steer them in the direction of the gift that says that they love the girl they're with without coming off as corny or cliche, which is totally understandable, but the thing they have to realize is sometimes it's not the gift, but it's the timing that matters the most. Of course you should put thought and heart into the gift, but you should also consider when to make your gestures of love and appreciation for the girl you're with and the list below is filled with suggestions.

1. Your engagement -- Go all out. Make her want to say yes to you, but tailor the engagement to something she would enjoy. If she loves a nice restaurant, make it there. If your first date was in the park around the corner from your apart, take her there at night and get on bended knee when the moon is bright and every star is shining in the sky. If she loves scary movies and Halloween motifs take her to a haunted house and propose or decorate your place to look like it or a hotel room and ask her to be yours. With an engagement it's the time to want to wow and her and want her to be your wife, so definitely go the extra mile for it.

2. After she gives birth -- A woman's hormones are all over the place after having a baby so the best thing you can do for her after she gives birth to your child is make her feel loved and beautiful. It's one of the most special times in our lives, but also the most uncomfortable with everything that's going on in our bodies. Whether you give her jewelry or if you give her nice spa day, making a romantic gesture that shows how much you care about her then would be much appreciated.

3. Before she leaves for a trip and when she gets back -- We all want to feel as though we'll be missed and when we get back our time together will be that much more cherished, so now would be the time to break out the big guns. Take her out to one of her favorite restaurants that you hardly ever get to go to, or go somewhere that you both have always wanted to go but never got the chance and show her how you feel about her that way. It doesn't always have to be over the top, but sometimes breaking out the big guns is making something really simple very very special.

4. When she has a big personal achievement -- Even if the smile is already plastered a mile wide across her face that doesn't say that you can't make it even bigger. Don't wait until she's unhappy to always do something, do it while she's ecstatic and that way she'll appreciate it that much more. Get her the dress she's been eyeing or have celebatory desserts at somewhere like Serendipity 3's. Who says you can't make a bright day even brighter? And trust me, she'll remember it.

5. When she's with her friends -- It doesn't have to be a big secret all the time or a private gesture. Sometimes she wants her friends to see what a great thing she has instead of always just telling them. Incorporate her friends in the surprise, give all of them a nice night out or something and when you get her girlfriends in your good graces and they see what a great guy she has she'll be that much more happy to be with you.

6. When she's nervous about something -- Take her mind off of it all. Do something unexpected even if it's a chore. Do something with her that you don't normally do like go grocery shopping or clothes or shoe shopping with her. We love bossing you guys around (sorry! LOL) in stores, it's just really fun and if you can manage to endure the torture of doing it with her and then enduring her wisecracks, not only do I consider that a grand gesture, but I guarantee that you'll give her a good laugh and take her mind off of what she's nervous about.

7. When she least expects it -- On an ordinary day or night change up your routine and do something you don't normally do or you haven't done in a long time. Sometimes a grand gesture can be suggesting a chick flick, buying our favorite ice cream, getting the popcorn ready and bracing yourself to either be cried on and laid on for a couple of hours and taking it all with a smile on your face.

8. When you're trying to woo her -- When you really like her, show her that you're listening. Subtly ask her questions about herself or take hints from observing her to see what she likes. In the very beginning something small can be considered grand and it could also make her fall in love with you. Sending texts (doesn't have to be corny, but enough to show her you're into her and that you're thinking of her), dropping her favorite flowers off to her when you're not even around (that's the coolest), or sending classic poetry tailored just for her via e-mail (make it cute, not creepy and long). If you want her, sometimes it's the little things that will get her.

9. Every day -- Just tell her you love her and try and show her in any way you can. That's the grandest gesture of them all.


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