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Romance tips for men

Updated on August 18, 2009

« Never forget that a woman is a romantic. She enjoys wine, flowers and chocolates. Let her know that you too, remember this things… by speaking of them occasionally” Woody Allen

I firmly believe that it is not that men do not want to romance women; it is only that men do not understand its importance to women. When it comes to romance most men do not know what to do. This is understandable if we consider that men’s literature consists of action, gangster and horror novels, and technical books and sport magazines, while women are the biggest consumers of romantic novels, fashion and decoration magazines. Men and women seem to be interested in completely different things in everyday life and when they enter a new relationship they also enter it with different expectations. Women are looking for love and romance, while generally men are more interested in the sexual side of the relationship.

Do you consider yourself a romantic man?

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Men should know that to be able to progress in a relationship romance is necessary. A man’s romantic skills –or lack of them- play a big role in whether a woman will have sex with him or not. That explains why some average looking and even ugly men end up dating beautifully stunning girls.

Romance tips for men

Here are a few tips to help you develop your romantic skills:

  • Carefully set the environment for your date. Pay attention to having the right light and music during your date. Women are sensitive to lighting. Dimly lit rooms and candle lit environments make people more attractive and put women in the mood for love. Also a woman’s superior hearing makes her more sensitive to music.
  • Give her flowers. Most men do not understand the power of flowers. This shows her that you are keen to provide for her
  • Feed her.  Inviting a woman for dinner, whether it is in a restaurant or it is you doing the cooking is very significant for a woman, even if she is not going to eat much.  You would be amazed of how sexy she will find to see you cooking a meal for her.  Seeing you among your pans and casseroles while you offer her a glass of wine is a turn on for many women.  I have met many friends who fell in love in the kitchen with the most unexpected men. 

Show her you can do-it-yourself in the kitchen, and it'll lead you to better places later. The allure of domesticity is irresistible

Will Cook For Sex: A Guy's Guide to Cooking
Will Cook For Sex: A Guy's Guide to Cooking

Will Cook for Sex actually does a good job of laying out (pun intended?) recipes for all occasions that are simple yet effective for having the girl of your dreams be dutifully impressed with your newly-honed culinary skills.


Easy to make Romantic Table Setting

More tips:

  • Light a fire. The fireplace is the place to be for an intimate evening at home. Lighting a fire translates as an act of providing for a woman's needs and it also appeals to most women’s romantic side.
  • Be a Gentleman. Hold the door open for her, let her walk through the doors first, pull out her chair, be polite to her and people around you. Women like to feel special and by treating her like a lady she will think you are fantastic.

  • Taker her dancing. Dancing is a ritual that leads up to courtship. Dancing is a way of expressing your desire to touch her to be closer to her. Just imagine your body rubbing against hers, rhythmically… what else could follow?

  • Chocolates and champagne. Not only they have a luxurious connotation, but they have chemicals that increase sexual desire. The combination has long been associated with romance.

Dating Tips for Men : How to Recognize Romantic Signs of Interest. By expert: Jessica Claire

HubChallenge Day 16

What is your secret for romancing a woman?

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    • profile image

      Ryan ~ 

      6 years ago

      I've been a connoisseur of the woman's heart since I was 19. not ALL men are oblivious to romance.

      Words of warning to men that follow:

      Being a romantic and a lover has it's downsides.

      A wise woman holds reserve when settling down with a man who "rocks her world".

      'cause other women are patiently waiting for him to rock their world too! -Ryan Brummitt

      A simple, mid-grade woman is your best bet if you expect her to buy into you.

      (As for decoration magazines? I'm an Architectural Digest whore, who sewed his own curtains)

    • The Taco Tagger profile image

      Jim Jimbo 

      7 years ago

      I always assumed, like robertsloan, that writing her a poem from the heart instead of buying a Hallmark card would always show a woman that care even more because you took the effort to do something specifically for her. Chivalry isn't dead and, in fact, if you can master the art of chivalry, then I think it'll be something that pays off in the long run of the relationship. Women like to be treated special by men and they don't want their boundaries crossed. If you can treat the lady right and respect her, then everything will work just fine.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Well, I suppose that ideas of romance would be as varied as an individual. I certainly agree with the suggestions here, be they conventional. I am, personally, a very traditional person...I love the idea of a man pulling out my chair, opening all doors, carrying my packages, etc....those are things he should be doing on a daily basis AS a man...but for romance, I tend to like the dreamy ideas of rose petals on the bed with candlelight, pink roses (favorite color), feminine jewelry (pearls and diamonds), soft caresses, intimate talks.., but, that's just ME. I have learned that most men don't have a clue about romance so I've learned to share what I like; that is called communication! If the man can't LISTEN and pay attention and take note, that's his problem. In order for a relationship to work, an effort must be made on both ends. I like to ask also what HE enjoys and try to indulge him every now and then. The way to a happy relationship is to keep communicating and making effort. Even if you are friends first and get along great, it's easy to fall into a rut if neither party is willing to make an effort to keep things fresh; and it's worse when only one party is doing feel like you are doing all the work and being taken for granted. It wouldn't be long before you get burned out and start walking! So, to both men and women: Find out what your partner likes and make an effort to keep them happy...that is true romance!! For men: keep the flowers coming and run ahead and get that door!

    • profile image

      American Tiger 

      7 years ago

      An excellent read, Anath. I'm very glad you wrote it.

    • profile image


      7 years ago romantic. hope my guy will be able to read this article so that it will add spice in our relationship. good tips.

    • epigramman profile image


      8 years ago

      .....considering that I live in a cage and they feed me bananas this hub has given me some sound advice - and well frankly - hope!!!!!

    • mboosali profile image


      8 years ago from Minneapolis

      Good points,

      Good guys like the romance too.

      Sex isn't as good without serious romance. And it happens a lot

      (not me personally but. . .you know)

    • antonrosa profile image


      8 years ago from USA

      I love the romance and attraction, great read!

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Great Tips

    • Anath profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      I hope you continue having passionate love for the New Year jinny.

      I find it irresistible a man cooking for me, it doesn't matter what he cooks, it is the act of cooking, feeding me, taking care of me at such a basic level. Happy new Year Gina!

    • Gina Coole profile image

      Gina Coole 

      8 years ago from London

      Great advice Anath - I love it when a man cooks for me!

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      well romance is very beautiful thing, i think that flowers or gifts will not make me happy, though a passionate hug will make me happy and then those romance which will make me and my husband to feel each other is everything, and that makes us bond and now we are living far off from each other coz of his business but i think i still feel him whenevr i remember those owsomes moments when we had passionate love without sex, coz i decided that i wll go to his home as a bride when he will live with me forever rather then leaving me in one place and going for his job, but we had external love for hours, i guess for a month, but i feel him every day, it has been past 1 month i didnt meet him, but feel him and cant control my feeling

    • Anath profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Yes Kim, I am sure that men also like to be romanced, despite some of them playing the "macho" they are all big cuddly babies :)

    • profile image

      Kim Garcia 

      8 years ago

      Nice Hub!! Great lesson for us women as well as the guys. There's nothing wrong in role reversal for a change. The Law of Attraction works....especially if you are stimulating the laws.LOL!! Peace! ~K

    • Anath profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      That is something that too many men seem to forget; "the more they give,the more they will get". Thanks MAYRAPINK.

      That is tricky and one of the reasons why there is not just ONE list of romance tips, anderbee, you are right, different things work for different people.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      nice article. romance can also mean different things for different women/people.

    • MAYRAPINK profile image


      9 years ago from texas

      I love romance and guys who bother at it will definitely get a good thing :)

    • Anath profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago

      Thank you for your wise words IslandVoice: "A woman who is treated like a queen will make her frog into a king!"

      That is absolutely right, and it works both ways, tell a lover he has a strong and generous character, behave as if he does without criticism and anger at his difficult ways, and you will model that behaviour in him.

    • IslandVoice profile image

      Sylvia Van Velzer 

      9 years ago from Hawaii

      Hey! I like my man to romance me everyday if possible! A woman who is treated like a queen will make her frog into a king! I'll take the wildflowers, but surely throw away anything phony! I'll pitch a tent in the great outdoors as long as i know my prince will keep the bears and wolves away! A fabulous and romantic hub! Love it!

    • Anath profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago

      You are doing the right thing tony, only a woman can tell you what a woman wants ;-)

    • tony0724 profile image


      9 years ago from san diego calif

      Anath I know less about women then any man on the planet , so when I wanna learn about women I talk to women . Good stuff here ! I do have a couple of romantic bones In my body !

    • Anath profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago

      I like the premise of your fantasy novels with elf women who are tough warriors and sorceresses. I like being a powerful woman and defending what belongs to me, but at the same time I like to feel romanced, the more original and creative the romancing is, the better. It looks that you have found a lucky lady Robert!

    • robertsloan2 profile image


      9 years ago from San Francisco, CA

      Thank you. I guess for a lot of mister normal type guys it does take a script to remind them to get flowers at all, make sure it's red roses so that the idea gets across that it's about passion. But anyone creative is going to do some creatively romantic things and pay real attention to the beloved.

      I think I'll have good luck finding love again with someone who's also less in tune with commercialism and more into creativity. The sort of lady that would squeal in delight at an unexpected handful of pastels in colors I hate and never use but I know she loves them, that's someone who might reciprocate.

      In my fantasy novels I defined chivalry in an unusual way among the elves. I posited my elves had sexual equality -- elf women are tough warriors and sorceresses and all, right? So they have mutual chivalry. If men get attacked by women, their ladies are the ones to step up to the plate to defend them. The idea of "don't hit girls" gets matched by an equivalent rule for girls not to hit men.

      I think about things like that a lot, trying to separate what cultural traditions are and how they could be reinterpreted in terms of equality.

    • Anath profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago

      Despite what you say I think you are a romantic robertsloan.

      I confess that I do prefer when someone brings me freshly picked wildflowers, rather than ordering a bunch from a florist and asking the secretary to write a nice message on it! The fact that a man picks flowers specially for me means that he was thinking about me enough to take the hassle of picking his own flowers.

      Being romantic does not mean -at least not to me- spending a lot of money. In fact the most romantic experiences I had have been extremely simple like lying in the fields watching the stars, or having a homemade picnic by the river.

    • robertsloan2 profile image


      9 years ago from San Francisco, CA

      Hm. I do not consider myself a romantic man because of a number of things about me that aren't conventional. I used to think of myself as a hopeless romantic -- but my ideas of romance were things like picking her wildflowers, taking her to a bookstore, staying home and discussing her novel, cheering on her artwork, respecting sexual boundaries and paying attention to personal things as such...

      I never 'got' the champagne > dinner date > spend a lot of money > cards and dates sort of romance. That always seemed like "I can buy you. Let's be Normal. Let's just do everything exactly the way Everyone Else does it and be admired for being better at Normal than everyone else."

      My idea of being romantic was writing her real poetry, written about her and no one else, written because I had that moment of feeling. Your article describes all the things that I tended to avoid because anyone would do them. The social rituals of America for courtship, the cultural symbols for romance rather than anything original or unique either to her or to me.

      I don't cook. I used to dance despite my physical disabilities but can no longer manage to complete a vigorous dance. I didn't have much interest in restaurants due to numerous things including those disabilities and hate goung out, it usually isn't what it's cracked up to be -- again, those disabilities.

      I read some romance novels while dating a romance writer and I was horrified. Half of them read like horror novels to me, women going off in all directions establishing unrealistic levels of control over an admittedly brainless and stupefied normal-guy-bigger-than-life. IE, handsome and rich and all, but very conventional and in many ways dull.

      The types of infighting and "romantic conflicts" going on were all foreign to me in how I look at relationships. Not foreign because I didn't see them in other people's relationships, but not in any way idealized as the novels held them up to be. Guys acting rotten to the heroines, heroines turning the tables and nailing him into marriage and "taming" the brute.

      I didn't want to play, if romance is about getting caged and turned into mister normal. So I have redefined myself as Unromantic. If I meet a lady who's weird enough to like my poetry and think that kind of personal attention and support is more interesting than conventional romance, if she too wants a romance that's friends and gentle all the way through, then maybe I'll find a good relationship.

      But we'd have to be as weird as the Addams Family. Have you ever noticed that they never stopped getting romantic or affectionate? That of all the TV families that ever were... the only ones who didn't pick on each other worse than they did anyone outside the family were the Addamses? They had this gentle cheery acceptance of everything about their loved ones. You're depressed? That's wonderful.

      Silly but real, there are people that gentle in the world, that accepting of others' differences.

      My whole paradigm of relationships is off the map, but maybe someone burned too often by the romantic myth could enjoy wandering into "here be dragons."

      They do exist. The last attractive lady who got interested in me made it clear she hates red roses, that she knows if a man is paying attention to her if he gives her yellow or lavender or pink ones and different every time. She's an artist. I was on the verge of getting her roses and then jollying her into painting them, then she went back with her old lover and it stopped being romantic but it was very cool and if it weren't for his timing, would've happened.

      To me if I'm falling for someone it's about who she is -- specific, everything real about her, not about doing the expected things and both of us trying to act out romance movies and have the scripted fights writers came up with. That'd be a good way to wind up married to someone you can't stand just because they know the dance well enough to be good at it -- and have zilch in common with you.

      Friends first, during and after.

    • Anath profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago

      ummm... my type of man badcompany!


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