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How to Add Romance to Your Bedroom

Updated on June 8, 2019
Stina Caxe profile image

Cristina is a business professional who has a degree in art and a degree in psychology. A mother of two, community volunteer and writer.

Is your bedroom relaxing and romantic, or does it cry out "Chaos"?

If you are like me, unfortunately your answer is the latter. My bedroom is the space that all the clutter from other spaces ends up. My bed doubles as my office, my laundry folding table, my junk sorting station, my present wrapping area, the list goes on and on.

So how do we convert this chaos to the romantic serenity we want? First things first, let's establish some bedroom rules...

The Bedroom is for dressing, resting, and making love!

The bedroom is not for housework. Unless you are cleaning your bedroom, you should not be using it for other chores. Fold your laundry, fold your socks, organize your Tupperware, whatever it is that you do... do it elsewhere!

The bedroom is not your office. I know how easy it is to lock the kids and the dog out of the room and sit on top of the bed with my laptop trying to get some work done. Think of it this way though, if you are constantly in bed working then you are going to associate your bed with work. This is going to mess with your subconscious and in no time at all you will struggle to find peace there. Do you really want work to be in the back of your mind no matter what you are doing in your bed?

No food in the bedroom. All rules can have their exceptions of course. I mean, if my kids actually wanted to treat me to breakfast in bed one day, would I complain? No way! I might have a heart attack out of shock, but I wouldn't get upset at them! And of course there may be some times when romance calls for a little whipped cream or something in the bedroom, that is your call. Otherwise, it is best to keep meals and snacks out of the bedroom. Nobody wants to sleep on stains or crumbs!

Need some convincing?

If you are NOT convinced to stop eating in bed, let me tell you a tale. Beware, this is an icky story. Once my mother was snacking on a piece of her delicious chocolate chip zucchini bread while sitting on her bed. She noticed a small chocolate chip fall from the slice in her hand onto her bed. Not wanting to waste a single crumb, (you wouldn't either if you tried my mothers zucchini bread) she picked it up and popped it into her mouth. It certainly did not taste as it should... perhaps it was a piece of walnut and not chocolate chip? WRONG!!! Upon further examination (meaning spitting it out, putting on her glasses and looking at it) my mother realized she had almost ate a spider!

Limit Electronics in the Bedroom!

Television: It is definitely convenient to have a television in the bedroom. It keeps me from falling asleep on the couch if I am tired but want to catch up on some shows. However, it is important not to overstimulate your mind before trying to sleep and again, associating the bed with watching tv, will make it harder for your brain to recognize and get in the mood for the real bed related activities.

Laptops and tablets: Whether working or paying bills, we already established that the bed is no place for your laptop. Aside from association and brain stimulation, electronics such as televisions, laptops and even cell phones and tablets all emit blue light. Blue light works against us by suppressing our bodies natural melatonin, which is the hormone which causes drowsiness.

Cell Phones: This is a difficult thing to part with. These days, loads of us no longer bother having a home phone. I don't even bother having a real alarm clock. My cell phone takes care of all of that for me. At night, I keep the ringer on (in case of an emergency) but, my notifications are on silent. This helps my sleep from being disrupted every time I get an email. Also, nobody wants to hear their phone ringing and dinging while they are trying to be romantic!

Books: Okay so books don't have to be electronic, (although lots of people use e-readers now) either way reading in bed could be a good or a bad thing. If it helps you sleep, great. If you are reading something that might get you in the mood for romance, great. If you are reading something that will overstimulate your brain so you can't fall asleep, not so great.

Music Players: Some people need to listen to music in order to fall asleep. As a teenager, I suffered from a great amount of stress. I personally needed to fall asleep with music playing softly. People with PTSD often find it more soothing to fall asleep to music as well. I feel that music players in the bedroom are find as long as using them while trying to fall asleep doesn't contribute to wakefulness. Music in the bedroom can also be fantastic during romance time!

So now that we know what not to do, let's focus on what to do!

Focus on these ideas to get your bedroom as relaxing and romantic as it can be!

Make your bed!

The worst thing when walking into the bedroom to sleep or for romance time, is to see a mess! Since your bed takes up a huge space in the room, an unmade bed is usually one of the first things you notice. It really doesn't take long. I make my bed every morning, it takes about 5 minutes and makes me feel so much better when I go to bed at night. The bed is much more inviting when it is made, like a warm hug ready to embrace you!

Scents make sense!

I can not endorse having a candle in the bedroom. My mother would never forgive me if I did. She and my stepfather are under the impression that I am irresponsible with candles. This comes from my teenage years when I once fell asleep with a candle burning. My mother walked into my room and threw a fit! However, if you love to have a beautifully scented bedroom there are certainly ways to achieve it without burning anything.

I adore wax melts! Wax melters, or fragrance warmers come in so many different styles! I have one for each differently themed room in my house! If you enjoy the soft candle type light, you can get one that heats the lamp with a small bulb. If you do not want light in the bedroom, no problem, there are plenty of options that do not need a light bulb. You can purchase the wax melts just about anywhere, including Walmart. Yankee candle and Scentsy of course have amazing scents. My personal choice however, is Pink Zebra. Not only does Pink Zebra offer a variety of scents, their melts come in sprinkles instead of bars. This makes it so much easier to fill your warmer with the exact amount you want, no more no less! You can also mix the sprinkles to create your own scent. Can't decide between blueberry or cheesecake? Why not make your own blueberry cheesecake?

Room and Linen Spray

Another great item I have recently discovered is Caldrea. This linen and room spray is amazing!. I am a busy mom, I work, I take the kids to school, I go to all their baseball games and practices, I am a girl scout leader, I do not have time to wash my sheets daily. And we all know that men can make a bed smell yucky real fast! I went on Amazon trying to find a linen spray that had good reviews so I could get away with changing my sheets once a week and not cringe every time I smelled them. The Caldrea linen and room spray was somewhat pricey, but it had some great reviews. Not all of the reviews were great, but the bad ones just looked like a matter of opinion over smells.

I decided to try the Caldrea Linen and Room Spray, Pear Blossom Agave, 16 oz for $12. I have been using it every day for the past two weeks and it barely looks like I have touched the bottle. It lasts! I spray it all over my bed sheets each morning when I make the bed and then I spray it on top of my comforter as well as on my pillowcases. (So I use a lot of it and it goes far.) When I lay in bed each night now, I am in beautiful smelling heaven. The smell is not overbearing either especially considering how much of it I use. It is definitely more of a soft subtle romantic smell rather than a fierce and fruity scent.

*NOTE* It also works great in the bathroom for those stinky moments!


Mood Lighting!

While candles (If you choose to disobey my mother and go that route) or lighted scent warmers can provide a small amount of romantic light, there are some other options. I love a bright bedroom, but not when I am trying to sleep or be romantic. Even a nightstand lamp is often more bright than most people prefer.

Lanterns are very romantic!

While I agree that the thought of twinkle lights wrapped around my headboard is whimsical, I have to admit to myself that I am not three and I think I am safe to assume that neither is anybody reading this! Instead of going that route, try one or two stylish lanterns. Hang one in a corner from the ceiling or set one on a table or dresser. There is something extremely romantic about a lantern.

Salt Lamps Rock!

A Himalayan pink salt lamp is a beautiful option for a little extra mood lighting in the bedroom. They come in a variety of styles plus some people believe they help boost your mood, increase air quality and help you sleep. I don't know if it is true, but I have three of these in my house and always feel better when they are on.

Order one on Amazon!

Dress For Success!

At some point during the day, sneak into your bedroom and prepare what you plan to wear to bed that night. Whether it's a fluffy robe, cozy jammies or something a little bit sexy, seeing it there will entice you and help prepare you for resting (or any other activity you plan to engage in that evening.)

Don't let that bedroom turn into a chore room or a bore room! Try some of these ideas and change your life!

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2019 Cristina Cakes


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