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Single Sacred Woman's Journey

Updated on July 18, 2013

The Road Not Taken

Sacred Single Journey

Why Sacred Single Woman's Path is not Explore?

We are raised to believe that we need a mate. I do believe many do, however there are those who do not. It is a walk as sacred as those who seek marriage. It is the ability to live authentically as we are, not what society wishes us to be.

Romantic love is what the majority of people seek, though there was a time when marriage was arranged. Romance was not a given in these relationships. Procreation was the given, and the ability to work together. In those days, when women had no rights, they married who their family chosen for them. When this changed, and they could marry who they want, they delved deep into the sacredness of romance. Even than the single woman, often called an old spinster was viewed with pity. Taking the journey of sacred single was not heard of, or if they walked it, they did not announce the joy they had in living it. Women who stay single often though went into professions that were considered women duties. Teacher and nurse were a couple career choices they had to choose from. The adventurous woman was seldom heard about, though we did have a few that crept into the history books. Being a woman though mostly meant having a man in your life who would complete you. This last concept is still active today.

Though there are women who are married or living with a significant other who do feel they complete themselves, it is not a general concept. I was one of those women, when I was married. The marriage worked because we both never gave up our individuality. Instead we blended our personalities, and kept our individuality throughout the twenty-nine years of marriage. The person I was when married, and the person that I still am as a widow are the same, but now I am enjoying living alone.

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Walking alone on the single woman's path

The Sacred Path Single Woman

There is a type of single woman whose need to remain in that status is stronger than those who are single but living the waiting game. They are waiting for their soul mate to arrive, or at least another one, if they already experienced one. They would throw away singlehood in a heartbeat. This is not the type of single I am speaking about. It has also nothing to do with not finding the right man yet, or having to many failed relationships. It is the desire to live alone. Living alone for this type of woman has a sense of holiness to it. There is the element of grace within her lifestyle. Boredom is not an issue that enters her life, nor does she sit and watch TV for endless hours to escape it. Instead, there is this need to create, experience and to live life fully. There are more days than not when she would wish for more hours in her day, so she could continue whatever activity she was doing. The sacred single woman does not flitter around doing senseless activities just to keep her mind occupy. She might flitter around, but it is not the type of activity to pass time. Time is important to her, and she craves to be part of the expression of it. The sacred single finds life a pleasure, and has no sense of lacking. She lives in the here and now, instead of waiting for someone to make her life full.

Curiosity in taking this sacred single path

Curiosity is something that some women have regarding choosing to stay single. They wonder what it has to offer. This curiosity often rises when one has a single friend who is embracing this path, or they might read about someone. For them there is a deep pull inside, which desires to be explored. There have been a few throughout the ages that have explored this and love it, however most just stifle their curiosity. This stifling is usually from the result of their indoctrination of family and society values. Single females are not valued completely. To not be valued often is intimidating. The reality is that women have been brainwashed in believing we need a mate. There is a difference for a woman and a man in our world. Men who remain single are given more of a positive lead-way. This sexism has existed through the centuries.

As with everything, life is a constant change. There are more women who have stepped into their curiosity of living alone. These are not the women who are now single, but feel their life is empty. I am speaking of those who wish to ride the wave of the sacred single. It is a different path, which has not grown in rapid speed. It might never, because it is the drum of a different beat. This will always be the exception, yet it is available if one chooses.

Solitary luxury

Sacred Single Woman

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Traveling a different road

The sacred single woman’s path is a different road. We do not have a lot of history to rely on, and mentors are not normally next door. We are still surrounded by those who are in a relationship, or seeking one. Yet, we can be brave enough to dig our own path. It is through trial and error that we will discover what we wish to add as a part of our life. In my case there have only been single men, starting with my late husband, who were living the lifestyle I wanted. They lived and breathe the substance of life that resonated with me. Since my personality is more feminine then them, and my creative self-walked different paths, I had to mix and match until I found what worked for me. It is a process, and one I am still creating. In my marriage, there were a few areas that where important to me, but held zero importance to him, so those were easier to access. The remainder of putting my life together came from my observation of my male friends. They were walking what I term the sacred single male path.

The journey of walking the sacred single is to create the live that makes you feel inspired. It is incorporating activities that quenches your thirst in any given area that calls to you. I am a romantic, and my home expresses that. It also helps me in writing romantic short stories, as well as working as a psychic counselor. The romantic is an expression of me, as well as the scholar, writer, philosopher, seer and cook. Each area must be fed by me, and it takes a lot of time alone to accomplish what I am setting out to do.

This journey though does not exclude having others in my life. It just eliminates them from living with me, and taking up a lot of my time. Those who I am close too have the same need, and it is true there are not many. Others think this is a time passing, yet they are finally slowly getting it. This path has led me to women who are younger than me, and who are brave enough to live it. It is an honor to be their friend.

Living in peace

The Sacred Single Path and me today

There is a peaceful feeling inside me, because I am now drumming the song of my heart. The pure musical cords of it refreshes my soul. I am at one with myself, and on my sacred journey of being me. It is a journey that only occupies me in my living quarters. A journey so profound and weaved through in many shades of love is where I walk. The sacred journey of being true to me is what I am now expressing. Life is good and it is blessed by my attitude and my thirst to live fully.


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    • Renee Abbott profile image

      Renee Abbott 3 years ago from Arizona

      Hi Words

      I believe it can. Thank you for reading my hub.

      Blessings to you.

    • word55 profile image

      Word 3 years ago from Chicago

      Hi Renee, this was a well detailed hub on singleness. Sometimes, what works for a lady can work for a guy. Thank you for your expertise :-)

    • Renee Abbott profile image

      Renee Abbott 4 years ago from Arizona

      Thank you so much Davorunner. I know men who have lived single all their life, or at least most of it. I am a bit surprised that men get hasseled. It does take a lot of strength to walk this road, since pairing up seems important.

      I also appreciated your long response. It feeds my mine to hear what people have to say. I forever feeding my mind.

      Thank you again


    • Davorunner profile image

      Davorunner 4 years ago from Australia

      You cover a lot of interesting points here which I strongly agree with. I liked your opening paragraph about living authentically as we are and not what society wishes us to be. No matter where I go or who I talk to, everyone is about meeting a partner, or getting married or a girlfriend, it's like people can't fathom the single life. I don't think it matters if you're male or female. I'm male and I get it all the time. I don't think I'm necessarily wired for a mate, just ingrained with the notion in every aspect of life. Which is not how I want to live my life. I think maybe it used to be more of an issue for females where males where the ones that worked and provided for the family, it isn't so much like that any more.

      Also there was a study done showing hypothetically how much more it costs a single person to live: I think benefits are given to married people as each country needs their country to keep reproducing.

      I like your distinction between "wasting time" and fully exploring and enjoying the many parts to your life. I get the same thing when people say that I 'waste' my time playing video games, or reading books. I love games but I don't play any Facebook games, for example because I play games, because I love them, I really enjoy them, but Facebook games by nature are meant to be time wasters. (thus they are meant to be fun, which they are)

      There are many unhappily married people, which I believe is partly due to people trying to fill the hole in their lives with a partner before they realise what that pull is really driving them towards. They haven't figured out what their own drive in life is meant for.

      I HAVE felt lonely before, and it's only human nature. Just because you feel lonely doesn't mean you need a partner. I liked Dashingscorpios comment except that I think one another need is human contact. Without at least a few friends, one can go insane and lose grip on reality. Without something that can be done with or for someone after a while it all feels pointless.

      Interesting article, I apologize for the long comment, but well done, it's a good read, very interesting points.

    • Renee Abbott profile image

      Renee Abbott 4 years ago from Arizona

      Thank you Dashingscorpio for your comments. I do believe your last sentence is the one I love and one I adhere too; Take the wheel!!

      Blessings to you


    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 years ago

      I tend to view "single" as a marital status or mindset. One can be single and dating but (not committed) to any specific person. Even those who live with a mate if required to fill out a medical or governmental form regarding their marital status they would be forced to list themselves as "single".

      Some people define the word single as being (lonely) or alone. However there are many people in marriages and long-term relationships that consider themselves to be "lonely." In fact it's possible to feel alone in a crowded room. My point is it really comes down to one's "state of mind" and what they would like to have in their lives.

      If we're being honest the're only 5 things an adult actually "needs" to live.

      1. Air, 2.Water, 3. Food, 4. Shelter 5. Clothing (It's the law in most places) Everything else in our lives falls under the category of (wants or would be nice to have). Truth be told we could get our "needs" met in any county jail!

      Life is a personal journey and each of us is responsible for our own happiness. What makes one happy is living their life on (their) terms. We are all entitled to have our own "lists". Never let anyone put you down because your list of wants/desires is different from theirs. It's your life! Take the wheel!