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Has the Legalization of Same Sex Marriage Harmed the Christian Family?

Updated on May 18, 2017

Is it against Christ for our courts to legalize Gay marriage?

The new rule, don't discuss Religion, Politics and Same Sex Marriage!

When you're out with family, friends or co-workers and the topic of SSM is brought up you are likely see a table divided with aggressive beliefs and strong opinionated views as the steaks and veggie burgers are hurled across the table.

As the debate concerning same sex marriage rights continues in our states courts with a divided country on looking, It appears most Americans are looking through a lens of prejudice. At this point 46% of Americans live in a state that allows marriage or a broad legal status such as civil unions or partnerships. Now Americans have the right to enter into SSM still both sides are gathering their arsenal of legal arguments, ethical stances and voicing their concerns.

With so much debate over same sex marriage and the preservation of the family unit there seems to be a lack of understandings about each party's "Agenda". The Church and Gay and Lesbian groups are intensely looking at the stats of divorce rate, monogamy, marital happiness and other "proof" that supports their side. Statistical data that is collected with a specific intent to support ones own biased, particular view or side is obsolete and a gross a misuse of information by means of collection and faulty methods. It's bizarre that each side is grabbing and sharing the findings, for their own cause, from the SAME STUDY'S! .

The assumptions each side has about their opponents agenda is about as valid as the statistical research used to support their own views. This argument is pointed in the wrong direction and has focused on debunking beliefs, fault finding, behavior and misunderstood intentions. Would a marriage book help an atheistic same sex marriage couple that was in trouble? Not if they didn't believe it would and not if they didn't read it.

The Majority of Americans are not directly affected by the argument however the Majority have an opinion.

With a large percentage of us having such passionate views about the subject, one could surmise that most were directly affected by the subject and it's outcome. Certainly many believe that it will create (or further) a negative influence on our society and children as SSM becomes legal and implies it devalues the institution of marriage itself. On the other hand many believe that our society’s intolerance of certain rights any American should have are ruining the foundations of this country. Both have yet to be seen however the effects of the argument itself is becoming very clear.

What impact has the argument had on our culture, families, corporations, how we view the Church, and America as a whole?

So how do we begin seeing each other’s agendas, needs, desires and the best interest for our culture and the individual people actually involved? Let’s evaluate the agendas and influences of each side instead of assuming it is all about fear, sin and a "God" given right.

Managing our own families, dysfunction, hatred and a horrible representation of the Christians faith it's what is failing.


God in This Middle

God and Marriage - Is it working?

With marriages degenerating rapidly even with proclaimed Christians it seems as Christians are living in hypocrisy and their "Anti Gay" argument is based on fear and hate. This understanding of the "Christian agenda" is prejudiced in direct proportion by SSM advocates as their understanding that the Christian's view is prejudiced in its implication about them in the family structure.

Christians are changing for sure but sometimes there needs to be houses brought down before a new one can be built. Many recent polls indicate that there is a rapid movement of secular "notional" Christianity and that up to 9 out of 10 Christians family structure doesn't model what Christ taught.2 A large majority of these individuals believe that SSM is not to be tolerated or they abstain with a view that it is completely ok. Both are equally as wrong, as far as the Christian faith is to be modeled.

If we remove the extreme and the notional Christian views and adopt an understanding of Christ himself we begin to see an agenda that is not filled with hate, but one of tolerance.

For many Christians a view of "My God is an errand boy ... living for my happiness" belief is being spread around like wildfire. The concept of Christians views one of hatred against gay and lesbians is not the message any true church (Christ is the Church) is going to send.

Christians: "Same sex marriage is going to destroy the family."

Same sex marriage being viewed as a cognitive disorder, further degrading the family structure or the devils plan to destroy the world is absurd in debate. These views come from the Legalism view that grossly distorts the fundamentals of Christianity. The few Christians that aggressively speak out against homosexuality by labeling the individual to condemnation is providing a horrible representation of Christ to the world.

The study of Christ and theology leads to the same conclusion,...

He did not come to call the righteous (Matthew 9:13; Mark 2:17; Luke 5:32).

He did not come to condemn or judge the world (John 3:17; 12:47).

He did not come to abolish the law or the prophets (Matthew 5:17).

He did not come to be served and waited upon (Mark 10:45).

Overall he did not come in support of those who held legalistic laws, prejudiced views of the sinner and taught we are not to cast a stone! He came in love and service and rebuked the ones who viewed themselves as righteous and condemn others as law breakers! He came to give himself up, let known his Fathers will of unconditional love and acceptance.

Those who claim to be Christians and accept Christ while speaking out of judgmental, righteous teachings and spread a message that others are not loved or the Father's Will is to hate and punish those who break these laws is leading an inverted ministry.

The other argument is the nominal Christian who accepts truth is relative to each person and thinks nothing of the act.

These individuals are the majority of family malfunction and if the Christian belief is accurate, then living in continual sin is the same as never being saved.

When identifying homosexuality as perpetual sin by the one who lives in it their own perpetual sin makes Christianity not work for either party.

What happens when the glove get old?


What is worse Legal Gay Marriage or Christians debating it?

Christian research is a fighting force that moves 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. Some Christians movements propose aggressive arguments in attempts to debunk science, dinosaurs, evolution and other findings of scientific theory. Many Christian websites and movements are including statistical data about homosexuality and it's evaluation of G&L behaviour and it's predicted cultural effects. Emails from conservative Christians swarm the internet about giant Nephilim bones discovered in Saudi Arabia or how president Obama changed the White House to a "Middle Eastern" theme with a "Muslim prayer curtain.4 5

When this gets into the hands of many Christians they forward it to 300 contacts, teach sermons about it, talk about it with septic believers who have a very narrow understanding of the facts or extremely limited data. When met with thorough evaluation on investigative reports and websites, the findings are that they are absolutely false. This is VERY destructive ministry as the True Christian experience in Christ is Relational and provable only through modeled behaviour.

These ministries have America and the world in an antagonistic temperament and these debates are argued in front of our children who witness it's development. When Christ becomes a topic of humor and Christians do not evaluate their own actions and behavior Christians are correct, this world is getting dangerously deceived with cognitive, ethical and cultural relativism based on deconstructionism.6

Now Christianity is being met with hostility on Marriage advice forms and LTR questions are bashing any Christian suggestions and flagging them off sites such as Craigslist and Yahoo Answers.

Secular Christianity is rampant and Christians are debating from the wrong angle. To suggest hellbound behaviour by isolating a culture change is suggesting hate, intolerance and ignorance. Christ did not make us Pharisees, he taught and modeled love, providing a new commandment, to love each other like I have you, as he washed the feet of his disciples

The majority of our children are becoming, atheists, agnostics, or confused secular "Christians" at best and believe "god" exists however the bible is inspired by God, not the living word of God.

God is not a magical fallback to intervene when the consequences of sin are realised unless there is a model, in the form of a person, that raises questions to individuals that are able to see ; "why is this person so concerned about me", "Why do they give away a majority of their money to help others and why do they respond to evil with good".

"It is not our intention to bring mockery or sarcasm to the analysis of movements. Instead, the goal is to document their doctrines and errors that contradict biblical revelation.7 "

That is not working because 9-10 proclaimed Christians curse, lie, act a way that is seen as hate. Almost any idea that that perceived threatening to the Christians "absolute truth" is attacked as a deceptive, incorrect lie and if we developed a relationship with Christ that models Christ, in the spirit, not in the flesh the world would change.

It's not to late to love, understand, not judge others with hate, justified as it is "for their own good". Christ's message was spread through 11 disciples after his death, resurrection and is the Truth, the light and the way - not the false solicited propaganda, the speculative and the laughing stock of our young.

4 ,5

I am sure very few care about my background but for my very relevant understanding of inverted ministries please see my Bio.

Which one would you pick up?


Christian ministry.

How has the Churches response for Legalizing SSM affecting your view of the Chruch?

See results

Statistics from Barna

Each of the eledge Christian is important to our nation’s future because they include millions of American citizens. The Casual Christian is especially significant because it represents a huge majority of the nation’s population – two out of every three adults. This particular tribe is comprised of significant proportions of minimally active born again Christians and moderately active but theologically nominal Christians. If a catalyst were added to this mix to deepen this tribe’s integration of faith and lifestyle, or even to simply create a more extensive sense of community and purpose within the tribe, unprecedented changes could occur.8

The findings reveal that most self-identified Christians in the U.S. are characterized by having the attitudes and actions researchers identified as Pharisaical. Just over half of the nation’s Christians—using the broadest definition of those who call themselves Christians—qualify for this category (51%). They tend to have attitudes and actions that are characterized by self-righteousness.

On the other end of the spectrum, 14% of today’s self-identified Christians—just one out of every seven Christians—seem to represent the actions and attitudes Barna researchers found to be consistent with those of Jesus.

In the middle are those who have some mix of action and attitude. About one-fifth of Christians are Christ-like in attitude, but often represent Pharisaical actions (21%). Another 14% of respondents tend to be defined as Christ-like in action, but seem to be motivated by self-righteous or hypocritical attitudes.9

Pharisaical Christians will debate, hate and argue your views. If you're curious about Authentic Christianity find that 16%.


Christian Types and how they affect US!

Christian Types
How They Represent Christ
Captive Christians
Consistent with Jesus
Casual Christians
Faith in moderation, Religious
Skeptical Christians
Borderline Believers
Other Sects or Religions
Mormon, Jewish, etc

This does not take into consideration the rapidly growing agnostic, atheist or other groups. Gathered from "The Seven Faith Tribes: Who They Are, What They Believe, and Why They Matter."

© 2014 Gregory S Palmer


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