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Searching for Love: Tips for Finding a Long Lasting Relationship

Updated on December 17, 2010
Sometimes the best relationship allows a couple to act like innocent children.
Sometimes the best relationship allows a couple to act like innocent children.

What do you look for in a romantic partner? That's the question most often asked by dating websites and by curious individuals trying to find out why single friends remained single. It's about next to impossible to describe your potential life partner in a simple paragraph. Love is not meant to be defined in 1000 words or less. Romance doesn't allow people to color inside the lines. Mistakes are made quite often, which explains why the divorce rate is outrageously high. How do you find lasting love when the odds of it lasting are as bad as playing casino roulette?

Here are three suggestions to follow as possible guidelines in finding Mr. or Ms. Right. These ideas aren't to find the perfect partner, because that's often as easy as going onto eharmony.com and generating a profile. The tips are meant to be used to maintain a relationship once it passed the awkward introductions and other bad first date disasters.

  • Perfection doesn't exist no matter how hard you try. Despite the many illusions in romantic comedies, there's no such thing as the perfect man or woman. Everyone has their flaws. It's a fact of life that no one can escape. Your better half might never put down the toilet seat or even put their clothes in the hamper. Sometimes those slight character flaws are often the start of a relationship unraveling, but they need to be accepted just as much as the fact that a partner loves to help the elderly cross the street. The best type of relationship is an open book that gives both partners the opportunity to see what they're getting into. A prime example would be the GSN show Baggage, minus all the jaw dropping secrets that would end up on a daytime talk show.
  • Prepare for relationship noreasters. Complicated relationships and other soap opera type behavior doesn't translate well. No one likes too much drama no matter what gender you are. Cheating scandals and constant fighting aren't just for scripted television or Jersey Shore. Drama can't always be avoided, but it's how the couple chose to handle it that determined the strength of a relationship. Of course, forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting previous bad behavior. Make your partner earn the key to your heart either through your stomach, wallet, or just by being patient.
  • Trust is everything. The only way a relationship can survive is when both partners know they have each other's back. Guys like to know their partner will be there for all the highs and lows in their life. Men want someone who will be supportive when their career is on the rise, or when they receive a pink slip. Trust can be established by simply being there even when they want to be alone. If a woman can remain standing after an unemployment shocker, she can almost do no wrong; except when it comes to watching those dreadful Lifetime flicks. For a woman to trust a guy, he has to be the type who won't run in the other direction after she removes her make-up or when a personal tragedy strikes. A guy can earn a woman's trust if he stays to take care of her when she's sick or receives a shocking diagnosis. A prime example would be a husband standing by his wife after she's diagnosed with Breast Cancer. He takes her to all her treatments and helps her once the side effects start to kick in. Now that's love in its purest form.

In the end, the ideal relationship should be one that allows both partners to laugh at their mistakes or leaning on each other whenever trouble strikes. A couple that can come together often remains together. Ultimately, love is knowing when fantasy ends and the real truth starts. True love can mean signing a prenuptial agreement to prove to a wealthy future spouse that their money doesn't matter to them. A love that can constantly evolve after decades of marriage with room for the occasional adventure or a simple quiet weekend at home. If only eharmony and match.com explained that on their websites, more people would be in relationship heaven right now.

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    • emdi profile image

      emdi 6 years ago

      Thanks for this nice hub