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Seeking Single Eligible Men

Updated on November 27, 2019

How many single men do you meet ready for commitment?

I am an advocate of traditional matchmaking where the goal is to find, dare I say it, a wife or a husband, not just a date, but the kind of relationship that today is becoming increasingly challenging to find...especially for women. Tinder, Bumble, Badoo are hardly what epic movie love stories were created for, and a far cry from those days where anticipation and a lust were formed over time. It all depends whether you really want a committed relationship or a just a physical exchange, with about as much thought and connection as brushing your teeth, where that momentary high vanishes as quickly as you shut the door behind you as you leave. Traditional matchmaking provides a secure, sophisticated approach to find those who have passed the casual hook up stage, who seek a meaningful relationship. The reason the majority of dating fails to end in a life long relationship or marriage, is simple; the two people involved 99% of the time are not at the same stage romantically, meaning anything from, revenge dating if recently out of a relationship, dating based on lust or physical attraction only, to both sexes dating for casual sex, dating apps are renowned for this.


The majority of introduction agencies even the most elite or exclusive ones operate by recruiting people into a data-base. Generally this method attracts more females, where males are often recruited by dangling FREE dates with female members who pay a fee. Absolutely fine if as a female you know about this and are OK with it, however, if you are female and ready to find someone of substance, that person, who, like you, has had enough of the emotional roller coaster of date after date, where neither party is on the same page let alone book...then you need to understand how you may be matched when joining a dating agency.

Dating agencies are for dating, traditional matchmaking services are for the seriously relationship minded, choose wisely. The biggest challenge for "all" introduction agencies, or matchmaking services is finding "eligible single gentlemen" for their professional female clients. This has nothing to do with the expertise of the service, but simply down to how different men are hard wired. And I'm afraid the politically correct 21st century will not change that, men have hard wired unconscious traits, as women do, hence matchmakers always face the same initial criteria, Tall for women, and for men, slim size 10 and younger.

  • FACT: Men are not so proactive as women looking for a committed relationship

  • FACT: Men do not have the same time frame urgency as women when it comes to starting a family

  • FACT: Men can at 55-60 decide to start a family, but a woman cannot, and she will not be chosen by men of a similar age.

  • FACT: Men have no need to be in a relationship until HE is really ready as there are so many dating opportunities/apps where he can meet, date and have casual liaisons for as long as he chooses without restraints.

  • FACT: Men do not rush to join introduction agencies, as generally men find it a lot less of a challenge meeting women who actually want a committed relationship than women do finding men seeking a committed relationship.

  • FACT: Majority of introduction agencies are aware of these challenges, where there is usually a split of 60-70% female members to 30-40% male members.

FAIL to prepare, prepare to fail!

If you really are focused on finding the one in our digital world of dating apps, then you must ensure you "prepare" to meet and date men, who like you, have got the fun dating stage and casual sex out of the way. If you join an introduction agency in hope to change your dating success, and this can without doubt, but you must ensure the service you join does NOT just present you with dates..that YOU can find yourself with no problem.

10 women to ONE man is often the balance for events

Out of those 30-40% male members a lot will have been recruited by offering them FREE or complimentary services to meet the agencies female clients, so what is wrong with that? Firstly; if a female is paying an agency to meet a man who is truly ready for commitment, who is actively looking for a life partner or marriage, it will be irrelevant how many dates the agency puts in front of the paying member. Females do not need to meet men who are predominantly there because it's free, or there, because he's been offered the same free services with numerous agencies to enable him to multiple date.

When giving complimentary services or memberships, the lure for the men is they can meet females met, vetted and given to them on a silver platter fro FREE. However, this does NOT mean these men are looking for a relationship. It is a myth that ALL those who join a dating agency or single events service are all looking for commitment, they are not. It is down mostly to the introduction agency to ensure those they accept or match their clients with, both parties seek the same end goal.

Most men recruited through agency ads with NO relationship specifics included, merely that men are required to meet the agency's females, will NOT have any set relationship goal, not too dissimilar to online dating. The dating industry has a lot of bad press, and I don't think this method used by some agencies really helps. If you join an agency and you are paying a substantial fee to find a life partner or marriage and you are unaware the men you meet have been recruited through ads to meet the agencies females for free, then that is wrong, if you are in full knowledge of this, and agree to it, then fine, you have the information to make an informed decision.

You cannot recruit men into commitment or marriage

Matching to relationship goal is KEY to success!

Just remember you cannot recruit a man from a bar into marriage or wanting a committed relationship, regardless of how many females you lure him to meet. You will just excite him at the prospect of the candy shop effect. A man has to be ready to walk that path himself, he has to be actively looking for a committed relationship, and more importantly the female must be introduced to males who seek the same relationship as her, otherwise it's just another date she could find herself through any of the usual routes.

All agencies have to advertise to gain the caliber of matches they need to successfully match their professional clients, male or female. That is not the issue, it's the lack of any specific relationship requirements for these men to receive free introductions that is the issue. No specifics are ever included, just the agency requires men for their single female members, and no female joins an agency to meet men who perhaps are just along for the free ride with no thought of finding a life partner, but the multiple opportunities of meeting women handed to them on a plate.

I strongly believe that to match both men and women successfully you have to ensure that both people are at the same stage romantically, not one seeking marriage and the other not really sure what they're looking for, this happens all the time, when people of both sexes are not matched to certain relationship specifics. This is where Rhodes Harvey Introductions is completely different, all clients partner searches are for them only, NOT the agency, and all include the clients relationship goal and other specifics personal to them. No client should ever have to worry or have to ask their introduction what kind of relationship they seek - this should be done by the agency, after all, this is what they are being paid for, to find like minded individuals with the same romantic aspirations..

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      15 months ago from Chicago

      Great list of Facts!

      Too often people insist on ignoring gender differences!

      There are two basic reasons why men don't propose to women.

      1. Timing

      2. You are not "the one".

      According statistics by age 45 over 85% of men will have been married at least once. That statistic was sited before marriage equality laws went into effect. Therefore odds are close to 90% of men are going to get married at some point in their life.

      The average person in the U.S. looses their virginity by age 17. The average age of a first time bride in the U.S. is 27 and for grooms it is 29. Therefore most teenage and early 20s relationships are not likely to lead to "happily ever ending".

      When it comes to love and relationships most of us (fail our way) to success. Very few people hit a homerun their first, second, third, or fourth time up at bat. If this were not the case we would all be married to our high school sweethearts!

      How many men do you meet ready for committed relationship?

      I would suspect the answer is none!!!

      Men generally do not start off looking for the "end result".

      In fact anyone who tells you they are "ready to get married" and they do not already have a boyfriend or girlfriend is someone who is chasing after a relationship status and is need of a "prop"!

      The "special person" (you are with) should be the reason why you're suddenly having thoughts about commitment or marriage.

      For most men {serious relationships or marriage} is the end result of a (casual relationship) which somehow naturally EVOLVED into something serious over time. They didn't set out looking for a girlfriend or a wife!

      The thought of marriage is an "epiphany moment" they experience upon realizing (the woman they're with) is everything they want.

      This explains why someone like George Clooney who swore he would never ever remarry found himself proposing to Amal after only 6 months of dating her. He believed SHE was "the one"!

      She didn't have to give him any ultimatums or cook the "engagement chicken dinner". They just clicked together and HE felt she was "special".

      Odds are she has exes who didn't feel the same way about her.

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