Depression Covers a Variety of States, But Can Be Treated. But, You Have to Ask....

The "black dog" of depression is a coined phrase. It can be thought of as something that "comes over" a person from time to time.

One can give it that kind of name or, so can unfortunately a loved one. Having married well, great kids, carved his way to a nice career, plowing up through tons of good will, carting his "black dog" with him as he went. He considered it to be a part of his bearing, his "Gravitas". It made him imposing, even though he was just more of a sullen, sloop-shouldered grave person.

Those friends who said he had wonderful good fortune were really silently commenting on his untreated gray ambient way. They were really saying: "Wow, he does so well, and has so many good things happen to him, even though he's a schmuck!" People had sympathy for him. He would sit at parties staring holes into walls, and sipping on drinks, as he did his best to ignore laughter and mirth.

Then after a decade or so, his wife just collapsed and declared she had had enough. He was actually surprised. But no one else was. His self sabotage had finally done him in. It was set on a clock. The clock was ticking inside his wife's noble heart and vigorously powerful demeanor. Her friends understood. They said, 'Well, I was wondering how long she could take an untreated dark specter lying next to her every night." This man blocked his wife's attempts "to get him counseling".

You might ask why people did not have more sympathy. That is an easy question. He would not address his problem, as a problem. He could not see the angel of death cast that he had to his face. It got worse and worse. "Viral programming" tends to creep and gain ground on the victim. Just like a virus, it takes up residence in the nooks and crannies of the unobserved wrinkles of the tortured soul. But it's not really that spooky; if we would not IGNORE TREATMENT.

His real problem was his arrogance and his pride. That was so monumental that his "Achilles Heel" was his depression, but his pride put him out there on the field of battle where he should not have been.

Amazingly, he let the divorce happen without making attempts at reconciliation. It was his view that his wife did not understand him. His wife silently agreed to his assessment that: "they were so different." And he was so superior, as he told himself in divorce court. His wife found out he had been unfaithful. She just shook her head and said. "Take him. Take him."

Raw Sharp Anger Right Across the Face of Her Loved Ones

Her conversation was pleasant, except when she let that anger go. She had relative charm and a kindness that was present enough for her to have friends. People thought she was bi-polar, but she did not have the self awareness to investigate that possibility. For every friend she would make, she would quietly lose one on the back side. She moved through streams of human contacts, interacting and honestly needing friends.

She would suddenly jump into mini-rages and get what people called "a funny look" in her eyes. She brought way too much to her conflicts. She weighed down her "boxing gloves" with a column of quarters. That was an image she would coldly say to herself. She was protected by relatives at her small business setting. Treatment that she was ignoring would have given her blessings, but she would not'

She was not a tragedy as much as an mildly infected sufferer of angst, anxiety, sarcasm and vexing silly challenges. Annoying and often vicious. A friend joked: "She got way too much attention when she was young. Her parents loved the hell out of her and spoiled her."

The viral nature of her curse was that she just could not build up any lasting good will. Several sought help for her, but she would politely evade. Her infection was like an "over look able" birthmark. An absolutely beautiful woman with a permanent blemish. Her kids, surprisingly developed sweet charm; almost as an antidote to their spasmodically unpredictable mother.

The husband had learned long ago not to "engage her", and was not surprised when they were often not invited out as a couple. His bridge night gave him a respite and a private joy of companionship that nourished him. He consciously became a golfer. He would say: "18 holes in the open air, and I get some exercise." --- When she would ask him why he had taken up the sport with serious conviction.

Stealing Away Our Brains

To reach for a state of elevation, we can conclude that certain behaviors seem to be natural, even though there is a self destructive element. Certainly greater consciousness can improve us and self destruction can be removed.

Continuing Inebriation - (the plight of the alcoholic/depressive who somehow survives) is probably the best and oldest example of self sabotage.

Shakespeare had Othello say: "Oh God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains..." Self Sabotage of all types has this strange similitude. Whether alcohol is actually involved or not, there seems to be a human quality of acting as if "our brains were stolen away". The virus, that phenomenal part of nature that has no inherent life of itself, acts against us and yet it seeks to live in us to perpetuate itself. Sounds like some habits that we have. In the end, though, we must summon up a real effort! Something like a first goal!

The first goal is to say: "This is a problem inside, but. not me, myself! I do need help though. I should have an "initial conversation". Yes, a talk with a pro."