ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Relationship Problems & Advice

Selfishness in a Marriage

Updated on April 21, 2018
DDE profile image

Devika enjoys sharing her work with a friendly community. Writing is a big part of her life. Online work has improved her lifestyle.

Selfishness is present in many marriages

Selfishness is present in many marriages.

Do you have a selfish partner, or are you that selfish partner?

Married life is challenging as most couples go through day-to-day issues.

Selfishness is one of the major aspects of any couple's life, and it shows when one partner behaves in that manner.

There is love between couples, but selfishness drives married couples apart if not overlooked by each partner.

It is a weak part of a marriage being selfish towards your married partner allows for mixed emotions.

Selfishness draws that wedge between a couple and the marriage fails quickly if the couple doesn't work through the problem.

Partners become angry with one another, and certain behaviors can become addictive.

The marriage doesn't involve happiness anymore when selfishness gaps in that marriage.

What supposed to be a gift to a married couple becomes a nightmare or a toxic marriage for both partners.

The happy and romantic relationship doesn't last long when selfishness exceeds the limit.

The short-lived happy and romantic marriage falls apart by the over controlled behaviors from one of the significant partners, from both partners.

It is not always the fault of one partner.

There are no perfect couples.

What is your view on selfishness in a marriage?

Culture has a lot to do with selfishness in a marriage.

I observed many couples in the small community I live in, and see that most couples are faced with this odd behavior of selfishness.

The man makes sure his wife has her day job and the problem with that he also wants her salary.

She works harder than he does and her salary gets taken away from her.

Most women don't have the right to claim their salaries.

Is this selfish or what would you call that?

It is often about his family and his way.

She has her day planned by him.

This happens in many marriages.

She does what he wants her to do and can't do any different than what he says.

Her voice is not heard!

Traditionally, this is how most married couples have been living for centuries.

It causes conflict in a marriage and this is not a problem that gets fixed.

The problem is not seen by any member of the family.

The wife becomes unhappy and just stays in the marriage to show others she is that good wife.

The selfish behavior tears down a marriage slowly and painfully.

The married couple becomes one and has nothing much to do in her life except for being a good mother and wife for her family.

Everything is about the family and in the process of their marriage the woman's life remains in the dark.

Understanding your marriage is important.

Selfishness affects marriages without you even knowing it.

Have you recognized selfishness in your marriage?

The partner with a weak personality has a selfish behavior.

Is your partner insensitive to loved ones?

Do they become angry if something planned doesn't go their way?

Does your partner manipulate you?

Did you notice your partner using others to get what they want?

Are you treated as an object?

Does your partner lack empathy?

Is your partner constantly criticizing others?

Is your partner ignoring your needs?

How important are you to your partner?

Does your partner fail to please you in any way?

Is your partner financially supportive?

Does your partner only look for their needs and wants?

Is your partner playful to avoid responsibilities?

Is your partner always blaming someone else for their faults?

When your partner shows the lack of financial responsibility, it is also a part of selfishness in a marriage.

What causes selfishness in a marriage?

The lack of education allows for the individual to feel this way.

So, you are the selfish spouse, what do you do?

A selfish spouse can control their behaviors.

Avoid acting out in an angry manner if you don't have it your way.

Selfishness in a marriage can hinder your true being.

One of you can use this behavior to hurt the other.

Don't get carried away with your angry emotions.

Selfishness means when one partner only sees for themselves and ignores the other.

People are affected by selfishness before a marriage and after a marriage.

A single person has only themselves to think of but when married there are two people to think of.

Everything you do concerns two people.

How you spend your money, and how you make plans concerns two people.

Marriage is a commitment only do it if you want to be with your significant other openly and truly.

Sometimes you make choices but don't think carefully about how it will affect your partner.

It is easy to fail to see your faults in such behaviors.

What you have is taken for granted and that is one of the reasons why many marriages fail.

In some marriages, both partners are selfish, but when they have overstepped the boundary of selfishness that becomes a problem.

Off-course people are selfish in many relationships or families but there is that limit of selfishness.

Selfishness becomes an issue when you hold on to that behavior to have made into a problem.

Fear makes you selfish.

The weak and less confident shows selfishness toward others.

Look at what you want and what you need for yourself and try to make your partner part of that choice.

Selfishness destroys the best of relationships.

Being difficult in a marriage is being part of a selfish partner.

You must realize, after marriage you become one and whatever you do in your marriage affects both people.

Selfishness in marriage can lead to unhealthy relationships.

Poor communication and caring towards partners.

Unhappy moments develop in marriages.

Overall, the family becomes unstable.

In failure to listen to your partner's needs, such behaviors take control and conversations dominate the marriage.

You will find that you spend less time with your partner and seek other friendships.

Your selfish behavior doesn't fix the problem instead worsens it.

People who are affected by such selfish behaviors had poor parenting skills.

Since everything starts at home and once you are out that door, you carry yourself around in that manner.

The personal traits from parents are carried with you.

Don't feel bad for being selfish just try to improve as you go along.

A sacrifice made between couples from the selfish trait picked up from their parents.

Where do you think you get your selfish trait from?

Unlimited selfishness is brought into a marriage without you know how that happened to you.

Selfishness is a serious conflict and shouldn't be ignored by partners.

Once you have identified selfishness in your marriage forgive each other and move on from that terrible experience.

Support your marriage and discover new experiences to make a good start over in your marriage.

Couples are not often open to admitting their selfish behavior.

They try to avoid being honest.

How to recover from selfish behaviors?
You can overcome such behaviors with controlling the excessive need to dominate in the marriage.

It is not easy to give up control in a marriage.

Communication is key to getting better at your marriage.

Be generous, and responsible for your actions.

Cool off a bit, avoid the temperamental behavior.

Be courteous.

Show your kind heart to your partner, the kindness you showed each other when you first met.

Love one another truly.

Understand your partner's needs and wants.

Be open-minded and share your needs with each other.

What makes a good marriage?
In a marriage, there are many aspects to be understood, to be learned, and to be taken to heart.

Most marriages are taken for granted and are not appreciated by one another.

Selfish behaviors in a marriage

Are you the Selfish one in your marriage?

See results

Selfish Behaviors

Selfishness in a marriage

© 2017 Devika Primić

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 7 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Dora, so kind of you to comment here. I appreciate you stopping by.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 7 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Linda Crampton,thank you very much fro stopping by here. It is something that most couples affected by in their relationships. To a certain extent people are selfish. When one steps over the boundaries of selfishness it becomes a problem.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 7 months ago from The Caribbean

      Devika, I think that if everyone remembers your statement, "Everything you do concerns two people," selfishness may decrease and even disappear. Thanks for your thoughts.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 7 months ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Kindness and generosity are important in any relationship. It's very sad when one or both partners are selfish.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 7 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Valrie Bailey Thank you for commenting here.

    • profile image

      Valrie Bailey 7 months ago

      I believe selfishness in marriage is the prescription for a marriage to fail.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 7 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Eric Dierker You are do right! Thank you

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 7 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      It is so wonderful Devika. We, after a decade and a half still test our limits. Our job to work on it. If I were her I would dump me in a short second. But that tender touch and that love so much opens our hearts and shuts down our stupid selfish thinking.

    working