ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Selfishness in a Marriage

Updated on April 21, 2018
DDE profile image

Devika enjoys sharing her work with a friendly community. Writing is a big part of her life. Online work has improved her lifestyle.

Selfishness is present in many marriages

Selfishness is present in many marriages.

Do you have a selfish partner, or are you that selfish partner?

Married life is challenging as most couples go through day-to-day issues.

Selfishness is one of the major aspects of any couple's life, and it shows when one partner behaves in that manner.

There is love between couples, but selfishness drives married couples apart if not overlooked by each partner.

It is a weak part of a marriage being selfish towards your married partner allows for mixed emotions.

Selfishness draws that wedge between a couple and the marriage fails quickly if the couple doesn't work through the problem.

Partners become angry with one another, and certain behaviors can become addictive.

The marriage doesn't involve happiness anymore when selfishness gaps in that marriage.

What supposed to be a gift to a married couple becomes a nightmare or a toxic marriage for both partners.

The happy and romantic relationship doesn't last long when selfishness exceeds the limit.

The short-lived happy and romantic marriage falls apart by the over controlled behaviors from one of the significant partners, from both partners.

It is not always the fault of one partner.

There are no perfect couples.

What is your view on selfishness in a marriage?

Culture has a lot to do with selfishness in a marriage.

I observed many couples in the small community I live in, and see that most couples are faced with this odd behavior of selfishness.

The man makes sure his wife has her day job and the problem with that he also wants her salary.

She works harder than he does and her salary gets taken away from her.

Most women don't have the right to claim their salaries.

Is this selfish or what would you call that?

It is often about his family and his way.

She has her day planned by him.

This happens in many marriages.

She does what he wants her to do and can't do any different than what he says.

Her voice is not heard!

Traditionally, this is how most married couples have been living for centuries.

It causes conflict in a marriage and this is not a problem that gets fixed.

The problem is not seen by any member of the family.

The wife becomes unhappy and just stays in the marriage to show others she is that good wife.

The selfish behavior tears down a marriage slowly and painfully.

The married couple becomes one and has nothing much to do in her life except for being a good mother and wife for her family.

Everything is about the family and in the process of their marriage the woman's life remains in the dark.

Understanding your marriage is important.

Selfishness affects marriages without you even knowing it.

Have you recognized selfishness in your marriage?

The partner with a weak personality has a selfish behavior.

Is your partner insensitive to loved ones?

Do they become angry if something planned doesn't go their way?

Does your partner manipulate you?

Did you notice your partner using others to get what they want?

Are you treated as an object?

Does your partner lack empathy?

Is your partner constantly criticizing others?

Is your partner ignoring your needs?

How important are you to your partner?

Does your partner fail to please you in any way?

Is your partner financially supportive?

Does your partner only look for their needs and wants?

Is your partner playful to avoid responsibilities?

Is your partner always blaming someone else for their faults?

When your partner shows the lack of financial responsibility, it is also a part of selfishness in a marriage.

What causes selfishness in a marriage?

The lack of education allows for the individual to feel this way.

So, you are the selfish spouse, what do you do?

A selfish spouse can control their behaviors.

Avoid acting out in an angry manner if you don't have it your way.

Selfishness in a marriage can hinder your true being.

One of you can use this behavior to hurt the other.

Don't get carried away with your angry emotions.

Selfishness means when one partner only sees for themselves and ignores the other.

People are affected by selfishness before a marriage and after a marriage.

A single person has only themselves to think of but when married there are two people to think of.

Everything you do concerns two people.

How you spend your money, and how you make plans concerns two people.

Marriage is a commitment only do it if you want to be with your significant other openly and truly.

Sometimes you make choices but don't think carefully about how it will affect your partner.

It is easy to fail to see your faults in such behaviors.

What you have is taken for granted and that is one of the reasons why many marriages fail.

In some marriages, both partners are selfish, but when they have overstepped the boundary of selfishness that becomes a problem.

Off-course people are selfish in many relationships or families but there is that limit of selfishness.

Selfishness becomes an issue when you hold on to that behavior to have made into a problem.

Fear makes you selfish.

The weak and less confident shows selfishness toward others.

Look at what you want and what you need for yourself and try to make your partner part of that choice.

Selfishness destroys the best of relationships.

Being difficult in a marriage is being part of a selfish partner.

You must realize, after marriage you become one and whatever you do in your marriage affects both people.

Selfishness in marriage can lead to unhealthy relationships.

Poor communication and caring towards partners.

Unhappy moments develop in marriages.

Overall, the family becomes unstable.

In failure to listen to your partner's needs, such behaviors take control and conversations dominate the marriage.

You will find that you spend less time with your partner and seek other friendships.

Your selfish behavior doesn't fix the problem instead worsens it.

People who are affected by such selfish behaviors had poor parenting skills.

Since everything starts at home and once you are out that door, you carry yourself around in that manner.

The personal traits from parents are carried with you.

Don't feel bad for being selfish just try to improve as you go along.

A sacrifice made between couples from the selfish trait picked up from their parents.

Where do you think you get your selfish trait from?

Unlimited selfishness is brought into a marriage without you know how that happened to you.

Selfishness is a serious conflict and shouldn't be ignored by partners.

Once you have identified selfishness in your marriage forgive each other and move on from that terrible experience.

Support your marriage and discover new experiences to make a good start over in your marriage.

Couples are not often open to admitting their selfish behavior.

They try to avoid being honest.

How to recover from selfish behaviors?
You can overcome such behaviors with controlling the excessive need to dominate in the marriage.

It is not easy to give up control in a marriage.

Communication is key to getting better at your marriage.

Be generous, and responsible for your actions.

Cool off a bit, avoid the temperamental behavior.

Be courteous.

Show your kind heart to your partner, the kindness you showed each other when you first met.

Love one another truly.

Understand your partner's needs and wants.

Be open-minded and share your needs with each other.

What makes a good marriage?
In a marriage, there are many aspects to be understood, to be learned, and to be taken to heart.

Most marriages are taken for granted and are not appreciated by one another.

Selfish behaviors in a marriage

Are you the Selfish one in your marriage?

See results

Selfish Behaviors

Selfishness in a marriage

© 2017 Devika Primić


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      15 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Dora, so kind of you to comment here. I appreciate you stopping by.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      15 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Linda Crampton,thank you very much fro stopping by here. It is something that most couples affected by in their relationships. To a certain extent people are selfish. When one steps over the boundaries of selfishness it becomes a problem.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      15 months ago from The Caribbean

      Devika, I think that if everyone remembers your statement, "Everything you do concerns two people," selfishness may decrease and even disappear. Thanks for your thoughts.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 

      15 months ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Kindness and generosity are important in any relationship. It's very sad when one or both partners are selfish.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      15 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Valrie Bailey Thank you for commenting here.

    • profile image

      Valrie Bailey 

      15 months ago

      I believe selfishness in marriage is the prescription for a marriage to fail.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      15 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Eric Dierker You are do right! Thank you

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      15 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      It is so wonderful Devika. We, after a decade and a half still test our limits. Our job to work on it. If I were her I would dump me in a short second. But that tender touch and that love so much opens our hearts and shuts down our stupid selfish thinking.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)