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How to Attract the Man You Want in Seven Simple Ways

Updated on February 23, 2020
Karen Whitefield profile image

Karen Whitefield loves to read, write and nap. Find her at true marriage stories [dot com].

1. Drop Some Hints (But Don't Be Too Obvious!)

If you thought playing hard to get was the only way to attract men, think again. In a culture where men are required to do most of the heavy lifting, it's wise to drop a few hints when you are around the man of your dreams. Of course, it goes without saying that you can't be too obvious about it! Some of these hints could come from body language and others, verbal cues. For instance, you could lightly touch his shoulder or flick your hair to communicate interest. Don't worry, it's NOT going to look cheesy! Our minds recognize subtle body language signals even though we don't intend to. When it comes to verbal cues, you could say things to acknowledge what he is saying. Listening is the single most important trait and shows you like him.


Don't forget to drop those subtle hints if you want him.
Don't forget to drop those subtle hints if you want him.

Of course, it goes without saying that you can't be too obvious about it! Some of these hints could come from body language and others, verbal cues.

2. Don't Make Him Your Life's Purpose

Yes, I get it! As counterproductive as it may sound, the more you obsess about him, the further he'd seem to run away from you. Sorry to break it to you, but the golden rule of dating is this: the more you run after him, the more he will run away from you. But you may ask, what if I don't want to play these games? What if I want to be upfront and honest? No lady, that's just not how it works. I am not suggesting you play games. But if you have a real life that does not involve him, and things that you attend to, you wouldn't be running after him, would you?


If you make him your life's purpose, he may surely run away from you.
If you make him your life's purpose, he may surely run away from you.

But you may ask, what if I don't want to play these games? What if I want to be upfront and honest? No lady, that's just not how it works. I am not suggesting you play games. But if you have a real life that does not involve him, and things that you attend to, you wouldn't be running after him, would you?

How To Attract The Man Of Your Dreams (Almost Instantly)

3. Be Nice To Him (I Didn't Say Be A Doormat!)

I know, I know I said don't play games, but this one is for those ladies who think that being mean to a man is going to get them more attention. That is just not the way it works! It is true that men like a good chase, but if you begin to really divulge into the psychology of men and dissect everything they are doing, it may prove to be counterproductive. I am not saying you have to compromise your integrity and worth and go out of your way to be nice to him even if you don't like him. But it's the softer parts of a woman that a man is most attracted to. So, be soft.

Of course, I am not saying you have to compromise your integrity and worth and go out of your way to be nice to him even if you don't like him. But it's the softer parts of a woman that a man is most attracted to.

Don't feel that by being soft you are being easy.
Don't feel that by being soft you are being easy.

4. Be Your Own Boss

I had to put this in after telling you to be nice, didn't I? Whether you like it or not, men like a woman who is independent and has a mind of her own, which is to say, if he asks you what wine would you like, don't say: "Whatever you'd like." That's an indication that you don't have a mind of your own and that is a huge turn off. Of course, with women it works differently. When a man says he'd like the same wine as her, she'd be flattered. But that's just not how men's mind works, you see. He likes it when you are your own woman. So, just be! Don't fall for his cheap tricks. Don't melt if he tries to avoid the hard work by giving you an expensive solitaire necklace.

If he is trying to take a short cut by gifting you expensive solitaire pendant necklaces, he is not willing to do the work!

Just be your own boss and you will be a hit with him!
Just be your own boss and you will be a hit with him!

When a man says he'd like the same wine as you, you'd be flattered, but that's just not how men's mind works, you see. He likes it when you are your own woman. So, just be!

5. Don't Talk About Your Future Together Just Yet

It's not unnatural to think about the man of your dreams and plan the design of your wedding dress, but you'd be better served by not thinking about it just yet! It's a fact that men don't like women who are too clingy or think way ahead in the future. A man, you must know, likes to stay in the present and if you could do it too, it's half the battle won!

If you've started looking up wedding dresses, stop right there!
If you've started looking up wedding dresses, stop right there!

6. Don't Be Afraid To Say What You Think (Sometimes)

Okay, so, I know I said you should be yourself and you should be, there is not doubt about it. If he doesn't like you as you are then there is no way he would like you any other way. But, there is a caveat to this. Don't show him the qualities that you already know are unattractive about you. A relationship not only helps us live a good life, it also changes us for the better, so try to fix your flaws. For instance, if you know you are hot-headed, try not to show your anger in front of him. If you think he is not taking care of himself and wants you to always look your best, try gifting me a Body Groomer!

Don't hide the real you; show him your real side.
Don't hide the real you; show him your real side.

Okay, so, I know I said you should be yourself and you should be, there is not doubt about it. If he doesn't like you as you are then there is no way he would like you any other way. But, there is a caveat to this. Don't show him the qualities that you already know are unattractive about you.

7. Enjoy His Company (He Will Too)

Goes without saying that you wouldn't date him if he had nothing to offer you. When you are being yourself and enjoying his company, he tends to mirror what you are doing. So, be natural and not too self-conscious. Men love that. If he has a good sense of humor, make sure to compliment him on that or if there is anything else you enjoy about him, you have to do just that: enjoy!

Dating For Women

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