- Gender and Relationships
Sex, betrayal, addiction and nakedness
An interesting topic
Hi there, I hope you haven't stumbled upon this hub looking for knitting patterns or home-cooked recipes. The only food mentioned here will be the type that can be poured on another person's body and licked off. Those of a delicate disposition please change hubs now. I'm going as far as I can go without being banned. These are my own personal thoughts so I can't blame anyone else and I think I'm untraceable (I hope).
Wow - that was nice, just writing it - kind of liberating. Sex, sex, sex! It's a word guaranteed to create a reaction. Whether we like it or not our mind reacts to the word ( I don't mean whether we like sex or not, I mean whether we like the fact that we react to the word). Think about the following two statements
- "I've just made beautiful love"
- "I've just had great sex"
Now, discarding the possibility that it might have been a solitary activity, our minds automatically create a mental picture.
Think about it yourself. What image would the first statement give you? Two people in a loving embrace, moving slowly, caressing gently and gazing into each other's eyes?
Was it the same image for the second statement? - I doubt it, it would be more frenetic, more athletic and definitely more sweat!
Love and sex
Are women and men different here? We'll all admit to being in love but do we all admit to loving sex? I personally think that while there are differences between the sexes some of it is caused by society, conventions and expectations. Even at present it is not really acceptable for a woman to say "I love sex". Yeah, there may be the odd exception but those women would probably be thought of as being "easy". Now a man saying "I love sex, I have it every night" to his mates in the pub would get nods of approval from them, universal agreement and, possibly, a little touch of envy. I'm quite happy to be contradicted here - I've never had access to a group of women talking girl's talk so I could be wrong.
What started me thinking about this topic (well, apart from the fact that I'm supposed to think about sex every 6 seconds) was that I read a comment on a forum about a woman who's husband had been unfaithful - it was a cry for help - and I thought, what a shame, most of us have been, or will go, though that. But could the pain be eased if we understood each other better?
These are just my personal thoughts
I think that men have affairs for different reasons to women but the reaction to finding out probably doesn't differ that much.
I'm generalising here:- Men have affairs because:
- They're flattered because another person finds them attractive
- They feel that other men have had more women
- They love to see other women naked
- They can be more adventurous with someone else
- It won't change things
- They won't get caught
Women have affairs because:
- They feel they are being neglected by their partners
- They think there's more to life than this
Right - now that I've alienated everyone I'll explain what I'm getting at.
The woman who was writing thought it was her fault that her husband has strayed and wondered what she could do about it, what changes she could make to make him love her again. My personal thoughts are that it was probably his fault but she can only consider the reasons why she would have an affair so she assumes she has been neglecting him or that he wants more from his life. - Well that's my theory anyway.
I've seen a lot of people addicted to different things, I suppose it's an easy thing to happen. I'm not going into other forms of addiction now but I want to mention sex addiction. Does it exist? - I doubt it, most men would be sex addicts if they got the chance but we're not rich film stars so we can't use that excuse. Nowadays it's acceptable for a man to admit he has a porn stash - as long as his partner doesn't find it! This is interesting though, research has shown that women get more excited by pornography than men. They actually wired men and women up and measured their responses to porno films - now where was I went that advert came out? Women prefered films with a bit of a story to them but even though they wouldn't admit it, they had stronger reactions to watching all films. I am not allowed to advise you of my own findings in this area. The only reasons I mention it is
- It may help couples to understand one another's needs more fully.
- I find it interesting.
Well one of of two isn't bad.
I've put this in becuase it makes the title look good and because of Lady E's excellent hub - must we pose naked. The answer to that is no (you have no idea how incredibly difficult it was for me to write that). But why did she pose the question in the first place? I don't think a man would ask it. It's because men are unable to stop themselves from looking. My wife used to prod me for looking at attractive women passing by. Then I read that women look at attractive men but they can see almost 180 degrees so it's not obvious. Since reading that I have been training my eyes - I am now cross-eyed and suffer from migraines but it's been worth it. Joking aside, my own thoughts are that women are incredibly beautiful - I just wish that some of them would appreciate their beauty more. There's always something different to admire in a women - it doesn't mean that we think any less of our partners because we do so. As an experiment I started to compliment women, I haven't found one who could hide her (pleased) reaction. So be proud to be naked. Men - forget it- we just don't look that good.
Nearly forgot! - I would recommend those Muller Fruit Corners, they're good for you, increase your energy levels, have a reasonable amount of adhesion and I like the taste of them.
Enjoy each day - best wishes - Max
No Lady E you don't, but...
- Naked Photos - Must we pose Naked?
stripping nude for photographs. Should we really do it? and how it has affected the wife of the French President, Carla Bruni Sakorzy. June 2009