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Sexual Sanctuary for Better Sex

Updated on September 14, 2009

Many couples today complain about their lack of a sex life, or how the sex life they barely cling to has become stale and unappealing.  They want change, but don't know how to do it.  Each partner is waiting for the other person to start making the moves, but it doesn't happen. 

If this sounds like your relationship, stop Waiting!  Start to focus on recreating your sex life, now.  You owe it to yourself and your partner, not to mention your physical and mental health.  Start by creating a sexual sanctuary that will help set the mood for intimacy for you and your partner to learn to relish each other again.

Sexual Sanctuary Suggestions:

Clean It

Start in your bedroom and remove everything that is not absolutely needed or loved by both of you.  What you are doing here is making room for romance.  Make sure you both have equal space in your sanctuary so you both feel it's a special place individually as well as together.  Items from past relationships, pictures of family and friends, and items that are not passionate in nature need to go into another room. 

Really spend some time on clearing your room of everything that is not directly related to sensuality or comfort.  Think about it, just when you are in the throws of deep passion, you look over and see Juniors face smiling out you.  Is that REALLY sexy?  I certainly hope you agree that it's not.  Remove the exercise equipment too.  The TV is controversial here.  I say keep it, but use it to watch sexy movies!

Choose the Right colors

A Sexual Sanctuary is as sexy as it feels and the color plays a tremendous part.  The color palette for sexy is deep naturals.  You don't want to go overboard on the reds or burgundies, a little bit goes a long way.  Opt for deep warm colors with the bolder colors as a secondary contrasting color.  Browns, peach colors, and greens can create an ultimately sensual experience.  If you live in an apartment that can't be painted, use your imagination and bring a color scheme in with your furniture, bedding, and decor. 

Check the Lighting

Make sure you have candles and low, natural color lighting.  Track lighting, even Christmas lights done in a creative way around the room can make a boring room come to life with fantasy.  A black light is an excellent addition to any sanctuary.  Not only will it cast a surreal light on everything in the room, it will help you lower your stress level and get into a relaxed mode which is all the better for romance.

Check the Art and furniture

Art should be in pairs and pictures should be of couples.  Furniture should be matching if possible, or at least complementary.  Work with a less is more attitude to keep a spacious feeling.  Remember to keep the kid's artwork on the fridge or somewhere other than your bedroom.

Position Your Bed Properly

Your bed should be in the middle of the room, or at least with enough room to be able to walk comfortably on either side of the bed.  This will help reinforce the feeling of spaciousness for both of you.

Dress Your Bed for Love

Use at least 400 thread count, at the very minimum for a silky smooth feeling against your bodies.  This is a place to really pamper yourself, you spend so much time in bed anyway, make sure it's the most comfortable and beautiful area possible. 

Remember the Aromatherapy

When thinking of aromatherapy, the rule "Less is More" still applies.  You don't want to overcome you or your partner with an aroma that overpowers your own sexy scents.  Just a hint of your favorite sexy aroma should be in the air.  Think of warm sexy smells, such as just a touch of amber or vanilla.  It will work wonders in creating a passionate mood.

Music is a Must

Get a small CD player or IPOD player and choose sensual music that will sooth and promote a sensual feeling in the bedroom.  The sexiest songs to have on hand are a whole other article.

Creating a sexual sanctuary will help you remember the passion and romance that you both yearned for when you initially met.  It will help set the mood and keep it there by giving you a space that reminds you of how sensuality and passion enhance your life and your relationship.  If you are single, create this area anyway.  It will keep you in a sensual frame of mind and that's a great place to start attracting romance.

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    • HappyHer profile imageAUTHOR

      Tracy Morrow 

      8 years ago from Cleveland, OH

      Thank you Magnoliazz. I think more couples would stay happily together if they remembered the passion and romance. It can be challenging to keep it as a priority when life, work, and kids are thrown in the mix.

    • magnoliazz profile image

      magnoliazz 

      8 years ago from Wisconsin

      Wonderful advice! The longer you are together, the harder it is to get into the moood. Everyday life intrudes and then you start to think about other things with romance last on the list.

      Your hub is an excellent way to start making time for romance again.

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