She Loves Me; She Loves Me Not: The Dating Site Game

Tired of being alone after five years of the state, I decided to join a dating site and chose POF, Plenty of Fish, one of the world's largest, so we are told.

These rather strange agencies, products of the Internet, without which they could hardly function, have proliferated by 2015. Every taste, if not need, is now catered for and most nationalities have their niche where the men and women flourish, not unlike the whores of yesterday in the windows of Amsterdam brothels, or a line of Nubians in ancient Rome, waiting like spiders for the horny to tap on the door.

Because sex, of course, is what most dating sites are all about. You can hook -up right away - usually more common with the under 30's, or send a few emails first to "get to know" your choice. That you can't really get to know someone who has every opportunity to deceive isn't usually considered.

Most of the hopeful want to see a photo first, generally of the advertiser seen in their best light; often the light of some years ago. The complaint that the date looked nothing like his POF picture is one of the most common.

Some electronic introductions do end in a permanent relationship emerging, but I'll bet it's a small percentage. People, and, excuse me, especially women, seem to be looking for perfection from those who contact them - or whom they initiate contact, (women, of course, protest equally of the calibre and intent of the male contacts).

Many are quite specific in their needs from their proposed partners. Older guys usually look for younger women and mature (very!) women say often, "I am young at heart and might suit a younger man." Or a 70-year-old might add to her profile, "no one under 52 need apply!" As if teenagers were lining up to jump her bones - maybe they were!..The age of the toy-boy prevails.

Note: This article is loaded towards the male point of view, if the ladies don't like that, write your own with a female viewpoint.

In fact, few men actually say they want a younger partner whereas many ladies do. This is matriachal Britain where the female's is by far the most demanding voice heard.

I must be a snob, because I have refused about 100 women who have initiated contact and soon stopped writing to the females I liked the look of. I nearly always thank them for their interest; few females avail themselves of this courtesy and thank me for contacting them.

I have only been on one date from POF in 6 years! This was an attractive 60-year-old Venezuelan women who chain-smoked night and day, even, unforgivably, smoking at the table at home and stubbing her cigarette out in her unfinished meal, and leaving several times through a couple of restaurant meals to have a fag outside: girls (or blokes) this is so embarrassing for the non-addict left stuck at the table grimacing uncomfortable at a room of judges!. Then she continued to drink, finally changing into a baby-doll outfit and saying, "There, that should be easier for you!" Needless... it was seedless!!

Where on earth are people like this coming from? The "screw you" as they do just what they always have with no thought to your comfort: continuing to smoke and booze and never, my dear NEVAH offering to contribute to the bill. (OK, you do, sorry).

I'm sure this was bad luck and I was like a moth around a very well used candle. Sex was on offer but so banal and joyless I got the middle-aged droop and had to plead tiredness.

This was six years ago. Recently, I have "met" another woman online. I can't say much about her; not her name, locality or any details as she doesn't know I am writing this. I will say to those who know my background, she is not British nor Mexican, but she does come from another European country.

We have been emailing through the site (POF) for about two months. We are to meet in 6 weeks in a well known European city. I do know she is not looking for a late marriage, or in co-habiting - awful word), is in her sixties, wealthy (more a liability to me...the rich can hurt you!) and has an extended family.

This lady is smart and savvy...so why me? 'Cause I have a pulse? Time will tell I suppose.

It is my last endeavour on POF, which she and I have come to dislike. Dating sites might work well for many, but not for us. So my next adventure if this fizzles is probably a cruise or a tour of the Amserdam brothels...no, she isn't Dutch, you little Sherlock, you!

I don't really want or need sex any more at my vintage anyway, although there is a certain rubbery yearning from time to time! I am going equipped just in case and I sure hope these little blue numbers work as well as they did ten years ago when I hardly needed encouragement!

I also hope her English-speaking family members aren't relating the content of this article to her!! But, heck, what's life without risk and if she can't take a joke...!?

I have been told there are better sites, but I'll leave exploring the higher-priced agents to y'all.

I'd love to end this with the phrase "Happy Sagging," but Google would kick the ads if I added another letter...sometimes I really Hate them!