She's Always Right
Well, isn't she? Ok. I am not trying to patronize here. And I'm not necessarily talking about an argument either. But, if you know what's good for you.. She comes home full of anger. For what I don't even know. I listen for 10 minutes. She goes on and on. I try to break in and realize she is not even near done. What is going on here? How much more of this can I take? I need to interject. No. I must listen. She goes on another 10 minutes. I have things I want to say also. I can't get a word in. She says she is almost done. Ok. She's done.
I try to give advice on the matter. She doesn't want to hear it. What? But I had to listen to her rant and rave about it for half an hour so far. She says she appreciates how I listen to her. I am not sure I have a choice. Ok. I know I have a choice. And all she wants is to feel better. She says she feels better after she lets it all out. But I am not satisfied with that. I want the problem solved and done away with. She affirms that it is alright and all that she wanted to do was talk about it.
I push the issue knowing very well that she didn't just go off for all that long to have me be quiet. I begin to upset her. Now she is upset with me. What did I do? I didn't do anything. It turns into an argument. She says she doesn't want me to fix anything. She just wanted to talk. But now she is upset and that is upsetting me. We argue about it again. Now the argument is getting worse. What happened? If only I had kept my mouth shut and realized she is always right.
Comments
LoL..yes she just needed to vent and the best thing we can do is say nothing..I was trained by 4 sisters...they do not ant us to solve their problems for them ..just listen..
great hub!!!
mike :0)
all to familar with that one. I reakon what helped me is realizing it wasn't about who's right, or that I needed to fix her. Like you, I always make her feel worse when I engage my reason with her.
- Author
Hey mikeq107
Thank you for reading and your experienced input. It is good to know I'm on the right course.
- Author
Hey Tony L Smith,
I appreciate your comment. It really doesn't matter who is right or wrong. Thank you
"...she doesn't want me to fix anything." This is key. You are a very smart man!
- Author
Hey U Neek,
Thank you for reading. I am always eager to learn something useful. This lesson hasn't come very easily. To rescue is kinda my cup of tea. Thanks again
Guys must FIX everything and sometimes the lady just doesn't want anything fixed. hahaha Great hub!
- Author
Hey tgopfrich,
Thank you for reading. It is good to hear responses from the female point of view. I really thought I was one to something when I wrote that one.
Hey Capncrunch,
If a woman is upset about something other than you, she is gonna want to talk about it and let off steam. She chooses the person she trusts the most to do so because she knows you will take any crap she dishes out at you because you love her.
When you offer advice do so by asking her simple questions, 'what happened?', 'who did that?', 'when?, 'how did that happen', this will make her feel that you are interested without really butting in.
Next, make comments in her defense, like i really dislike that Sharon, or Angela or the person who upset her. Tell her you dislike other people upsetting her for it upsets you.
Please don't tell her what to do until maybe a week later when she calms downs and happy again, you ask her if everything is okay with the situation.
Offer to make dinner or rub her feet on the day she is upset. Trust me these really work, I know, I am a woman.
- Author
Thank you Cardisa! You have added some great advice to my guestion here. It is so good to hear it from other women. I really wasn't sure if I was on to something or not. I felt I was; about just not trying to fix anything. Have a wonderful week!
I guess everyone is different. But personally I would welcome some comments, even if it was an attempt to "fix"...at least it would mean someone was listening-ha!
- Author
Hello dearabbysmom,
It is good to hear another view of this issue. Maybe everyone is different as you say. This Hub was truly written at the spur of the moment. I appreciate your comment. Thank you.
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