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Should A Girl Call First After A Date

Updated on June 21, 2008

Should you worry when he doesn't call you after a date? Do you call him first? What are the rules for who calls whom and when?


Girls, girls, girls... the first rule you always have to remember is that after the first date the guy has to call you to see how you enjoyed the date!

Never, ever, call him first, text him, email him... anything like that.

When he contacts you first, you have the power over him to decide what the next steps of the relationship will be.

If you call him first you give up that power!

You will appear needy, maybe even suffocating!

Don't be desperate, wait for his call.

Sure, you might have to wait three or four days to get that call (note: guys, you're supposed to call within two days to see how the date went!) but waiting is a part of the game for control.

The person that bends or breaks first loses!

Of course there may be mitigating factors, who calls when isn't a hard and fast rule... take for example after your first date you can call him first if:

- He's been in a serious accident

- There has been a death in the family

- He won the lottery (if you won you might be able to do better, don't call him!)

- He's shipping out for military duty

But there are distinct rules in the game of dating and this is the most important:

Don't worry of he doesn't call right away!

Guy's know how to play the dating game so let them think they have the control they seek. By knowing and understanding the basic of first time dating, where you go, for how long and how you end the first date (small kiss on the cheek is acceptable, no more unless it's just a hook-up you want!) you can keep the control of the way the relationship will evolve.

And if he calls right away after saying goodbye, he may be the needy one, the suffocating one, the one that ends up needing a restraining order to keep him away.

Guys understand the rules for dating. Or at least they think they do.

You need to understand the rules they think they know and use them for your advantage.

How else do you expect to "Catch Him & Keep Him"? By being easily available? By saying yes to all his suggestions? By answering all his calls and messages as fast as possible?

Girl, you need to add some control over yourself and some mystery to your dating technique.

Read "Catch Him & Keep Him" to find the right way to catch the right boyfriend.

And follow up with "Natural and Lasting Attraction" the DVD program specially for women that want to make their relationship exciting all the time!



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    • R Pseudomen profile image

      Robert Lee 5 years ago from Canada

      Hi Michelle, Call him! But not in anger, simply ask him when the next date is.

      He may have cold feet or be disappointed about something. Guys are terrible with talking about their emotions especially if the date goes great!

      Good luck!

      For a video that explains a lot see


    • profile image

      Michelle 5 years ago

      I meet a guy online we meet for coffee and had a great time. He walked me to my car door and stated that he would like to meet later that evening. However, I never received a call or a text from him. I has been three days now. What should I do?

    • R Pseudomen profile image

      Robert Lee 6 years ago from Canada

      Hi Lee-Lee, You should never assume the worst of someone. A lot of guys don't understand the dynamics of relationships so call him when you're ready to.


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      Robert Lee 6 years ago from Canada

      Hi Jilly, Yes, inviting him in went to far for a first date.

      Things that "feel just right" are sometimes misinterpreted later by a guy to be "she mislead me" because maybe he was expecting sex.

      It's his loss.

      If you do talk to him again tell him that the first date just went "too far" and that you'd like to take things a little slower.

      If he's really interested in you he'll agree, if not, then it's his loss.


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      Jilly 6 years ago

      So I went on a date on Friday which consisted of dinner and drinks. We ended up spending almost nine hours together. When we were ending the date we started kissing which felt very right. He asked if I wanted to still spend some time together so I said yes and invited him in. We hung out, talked and hooked up a little (no clothes He text me when he got home (I asked him to, to ensure hegot home safe) but I was already asleep. I text him later in the afternoon the next day and stated that I was glad he got home safe, that I feel asleep immediately and that I had a very nice time with him. A few simple texts followed one that stated that he had a "good time" and that was all. Did I handle that okay or was inviting him in a bad thing and I should expect no call moving forward.

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      lee-lee 6 years ago

      Ok so I went out with this guy tonight.

      He seemed to be having a good time.

      He was laughing and smiling.

      Though he just really didn't seem into it.

      So at the end of the date he walked me to my door and just said bye and left.

      No talk to you later or anything.

      As he was walking away i asked "talk to you later?" he just said "yea, bye"

      I plan to follow the advice by waiting at least two days for him to text me first but if he doesn't.

      Would it be because he doesn't like me back?

    • R Pseudomen profile image

      Robert Lee 6 years ago from Canada

      Hi Melly-Mel,

      Don't text him or email him. Call him in a day or two and just ask him how he's doing.

      He sounds quite inexperienced with dating and may not understand what his obligations are, or he's getting bad advice from his friends.

      Tomorrow take the initative and ask him when you're both going out again.

      Good luck!


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      Melly-Mel 6 years ago

      Okay, so I read your blog on texting and you gave me some really good advice that worked. So, thie guy and I had a nice date of Sat nite. I ended the date at the 3 hour mark (Why men love Bitches book advice). I was really nervous ending the date, so I did so with a quick hug and maybe we'll talk later (i think). So he hasn't called or emailed since. SO, a guy friend suggested that I send him a nice email (wed morn) stating that I had a very nice time and give me a call sometime. Then I read this blog and a girlfriend said it was a bad, desperate move....Did I screw up? This written like 3 yrs ago, so I wasn't sure if you'd changed your stance....