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Should I break up with my girlfriend/boyfriend? 10 real life signs that you should

Updated on January 31, 2012
Deciding whether to break up with your girlfriend or boyfriend can be a very tough and frustrating decision. If you are in a similar situation, here are a few not-so-usual signs that you should
Deciding whether to break up with your girlfriend or boyfriend can be a very tough and frustrating decision. If you are in a similar situation, here are a few not-so-usual signs that you should | Source

"Should I break up with my girlfriend/boyfriend" is a question that almost all of us have thought about at some point in our lives. Let's forget the cliché answers of cheating, being faithful, being taken for granted and other generic replies that we are all likely to hear from relationship experts. Aimed at partners who are in a relationship but not married yet, here are 10 real life signs that you should break up with him/her.

1) Your partner keeps borrowing money from you

No we are not talking about gifts that you shower on your girlfriend or boyfriend out of love. We are talking about circumstances if your partner keeps borrowing money from you, week after week and month after month. Unless your partner is suffering from a condition or is genuinely unable to work, you may want to think otherwise. But if your girlfriend or boyfriend simply does not want to work because you can pay their bills, the answer "Should I break up with him/her" is leaning towards a big yes.

2) Fallouts with the law

If your girlfriend or boyfriend has had fallouts with the law or has been behind bars, even if it is for a few hours for their own fault, this may be a red flag. If your partner breaks the law and is nonchalant about it right now, what do you think will happen to you if he/she is behind bars after you get married? The mental trauma that you will face is unimaginable and it is just not worth it. If you think that your girlfriend or boyfriend is a possible future convict, this may be valid reason for you to break up with him/her.

3) Your girlfriend or boyfriend uses people for his/her benefit

It is one thing to be nice to people but if your girlfriend or boyfriend is in the habit of putting up a fake face to use others for their own benefit on a daily basis, that is a clear warning sign. Do you know why? The reason is quite simple. If your partner puts up a fake personality to use people without even batting an eyelid, what guarantee that he/she won't do the same to you? The art of using people is an art that is mastered by conmen. Don't date a conman.

4) Your partner is okay with the fact that you have cheated on him/her

It is one thing to have a loving partner who forgives you for a mistake you've done in the past. If your boyfriend or girlfriend has done this, hold on to them for the rest of your life because learning how to forgive is an art that only the big of heart can master. However, if your partner seems too nonchalant about your cheating ways, it may be the answer to your question, should I break up with him/her. Do you know why? Because if you are not already married, chances are that if he/she does not care for your fidelity in your relationship, he/she is not looking for a long term relationship in the first place.

5) You catch him/her lying frequently on the pretext of using white lies

White lies are generally considered acceptable between partners in a relationship. But the million dollar question is, when and where do you draw the line between a white lie and lie, not-so-white? If your partner is habituated to pulling of lies and then claiming refugee by apologizing "Oh it was just a white lie honey. I did not want you to feel bad" all the time, you may want to put your guard up. The habit of lying is a dangerous one because it is easy to get carried away by the temporary benefits of lying, only to face the deadly repercussions in the future.

6) Your partner pressurizes you into physically abusive sexual fantasies

A girlfriend and boyfriend should play out their sexual fantasies with each other. In fact, sharing sexual fantasies is great to keep the relationship alive and sensual. But if the sexual fantasies of your boyfriend or girlfriend are getting physically abusive and you are being forced into it, breaking up with a possible sexual freak may be on the cards.

After all, it is fun to be tied up to the bed post or to be sparingly and playfully spanked on the bottoms. But if you are enduring forceful physical torture from your partner claiming sexual fantasy as his/her excuse to do so, well, that's just not sexual.

7) Your partner threatens you of physical assault

"I'll beat the crap out of you if you don't do as I say", "I'll slap you, b***h", "I'm going to kill you", "I feel like twisting your neck", etc may sound like sentences straight from a movie, but in fact, they are clear signs of the beginning of an abusive relationship. If you are hearing these or similar lines on a daily basis from your girlfriend or boyfriend, maybe it is time you called it quits before it is too late.

8) Your partner has secret hobbies

Yes, we all understand that partners need their own space in relationships. This includes spending time away from each other. But what this does not include is the fact that a partner denies to say what he/she did in the time they were away. Is your boyfriend or girlfriend going out every week on a fixed day only to come back and say "It's just my little thing. Don't worry about it" when you ask "Where have you been?"

It is okay if your partner wants you to mind your own business when it comes to him/her pursuing their hobbies. But if he/she refuses to even tell you what it is all about, well, that's like breaking the foundation on which your relationship is based on. For all you know, your partner may be practicing sorcery! Jokes apart, secret hobbies and suspicious group meetings that your partner refuses to tell you about should be taken seriously.

9) Your partner harms animals

If you are an animal lover or a good human being in general, don't feel guilty if you think "Should I break up with my boyfriend/girlfriend?" if you see your partner harming and hurting animals. No we are not talking about things like wearing fur or eating non-vegetarian food. We are talking about serious issues like physical harm to pets, hitting neighbourhood cats, kicking and hurting animals or throwing stones at animals and other such examples of cruelty against animals.

Animals have the right to, and deserve to be treated humanely. If your partner can't do that, what are the chances he/she does not value life at all?

10) Your girlfriend or boyfriend treats you like a slave

It is okay for your partner to come home after a long and tiring day at work and expect you to fix up a cold drink for them, don't you think? To think of it, partners in a relationship often take each other for granted to a certain extent out of love and care. But if your boyfriend or girlfriend dictates each and every move that you make every single day, you should know that you are a loving partner, not a slave.

If you are hearing things like "B***h go get me a beer from the fridge and then fix me a snack before you massage my feet" or "You will not spend a single dollar without asking me. I am your girlfriend and you will do exactly what I say. Now go pick my clothes from the laundromat", you should give breaking up a thought.

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    • profile image

      Vicky 5 years ago

      None of these.

    • profile image

      Maggie 5 years ago

      Although these are certainly signs that you should leave a person if they qualify as any of these types, this list describes more personality disorders or just an overall bad person, rather than reasons to break up. Numbers 2, 6, 7, 9, and 10 are really more signs of sociopathy and even more severe problems that indicate early serial killer behavior. If you're experiencing any of the latter mentioned issues, definitely get out.

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 5 years ago from home

      PWP,

      of these 10 rules you kinda forgot he/she lies so much he/she believes themselves....and the lies get bigger and grander and they start to believe and justify their own fantasies, and desires. They don't have any issues with their behavior.

      TH