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Should Women Allow Their Men To Watch Adult Movies?

Updated on August 5, 2013

Ladies: What's Your Opinion on Adult Movies?

How Often Can Your Man Watch Porn?

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One Woman's Opinion on the Whole Men Watching Porn Thing.

If the term "allow" is employed in an adult romantic relationship, there is no reason for it not to apply to both parties, in any and all realms. For that reason, I view this as a 2-part question: (1) Is it appropriate for a spouse to have the power to give (or revoke) permission to their partner to do something? and (2) Is there a significant negative outcome as a result of men watching porn movies?

(1) Is it appropriate for a spouse to have the power to give (or revoke) permission to their partner to do something? In any adult partnership, each of the two people has his/her strengths and weaknesses. If the folks know themselves well, and are secure in their strengths, then certain choices are wise. For example, some of us are "time-challenged." If one of us is in a relationship with a punctual type, it behooves us (and our partner) to defer to him/her on matters of scheduling, time management, planning, etc. It's no different from paying the bills: yes, it would be better if we improved in these areas, and yes, we can try to do so on our own time, but it is not fair to penalize others with late bills, missed parties, angry parents, and so forth. If one of us is substantially better at this sort of task, it saves a lot of aggravation to let that person handle it. It's just too important an issue. And as the "less competent" spouse, I believe we haven't earned the right to be in charge of this part of our life together. In all probability the other spouse will be good at different things-maybe that person will be in charge of the home , social activities, whatever. Again, if the other is less interested in and/or less good at it, I can't see the benefit in taking their lead here. My point is that when my man tells me, "You have to be ready by 6", I know I need that structure. I feel more relaxed knowing the "expert" will make sure we leave on time. When I research vacations , he's relieved because he doesn't know as much as I do about hotels, travel websites, and budget travel magazines-and is confident that I will find us a great trip. He does not TELL me that I MUST abide by his time frames; I do not FORCE him to take my lead on the travel front. This is a mutual agreement between adults. In any successful relationship, I believe there are many such negotiations. But a negotiation is just that; it is not a husband dominating a wife, or vice versa. "Allowing" one's spouse to do something logically implies that you have the power to "forbid" it as well! I have never seen a successful relationship under those circumstances. So absolutely, no matter what the behavior, it is never, ever acceptable for a husband or wife to try to wield that much power over the other. It only breeds resentment and rebellion.


(2) Is there a significant negative outcome as a result of men watching porn movies ?


I have had this discussion with many male and female friends and am amazed at how some of the women refuse to accept what the men are telling them. I hate to break the P.C. bubble, but-MEN ARE DIFFERENT FROM WOMEN! There, I said it. The perfect proof of this is gay and lesbian lifestyles. Male gay social networks are overwhelmingly more prone to casual sex, one-night stands, overtly sexual dress, and the like. Lesbians, in general, are nothing like that. They are much more likely to form a monogamous couple and stay together longer. It's a completely different culture. Of course there are exceptions on both sides, but for the most part this is the case; just ask any gay person you know. This serves as a sort of scientific experiment to see how men act without a woman partner to influence them (and vice versa). The sort of "natural state", if you will.

What do we see here? Men love sex. And not the way women love sex. Sure, there is a lot of overlap. But men think about sex much more often. It's a bodily function. Yes, it means more to them when it's with a woman they love. But the physicality of sex in and of itself is a separate entity to men. Many do not fully understand what would even be so terrible about having another lover once in a while. This is not a good thing or a bad thing; it just is. And to pretend it is not the case is silly and naïve. Where the value judgment comes in has to do with the choice the man makes to either respect his wife's need for faithfulness or disregard her feelings by cheating. The mature, loving, respectful man will make the choice to be true to his woman. This pleases her. This pleases him long-term. But this choice has absolutely nothing to do with that pent-up "bodily function" desire he still carries around. Of course, he will explore much of this with his partner. But there is still some part of him that has the "nasty", "wrong", "perverted" urges that are separate from her. It couldn't have less to do with any conscious feelings he has for her; it's just the way it is. So if turning on a DVD and watching some naked bodies with voices, and fantasizing, gives the man a release for these primitive sexual urges, which are completely separate from his wife, there is no earthly reason for her to worry. The only major exception would be if he was literally addicted to it. That is, as with food, drink, work, etc, very harmful to anyone. But if he is not substituting porn for his woman, is watching it discreetly, and is doing it away from the children, it is in fact much healthier to condone it.

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    • profile image

      Sanxuary 

      5 years ago

      Porn is completely lame and is a money maker for people who have no idea how to make honest money. It usually cheapens the experience when sex is not about sex but two people committed to the moment of one another. Most who watch it believe that they are missing something and hopefully they discover they are not missing anything at all. Just another person with a whole new set of problems and hoops to jump through. In the case of a porn star its a fake person living in a fake World and you our probably supporting a lot of low lives by watching it. I guess you like sex education video’s or even sicker, watching complete strangers do things for money. There is little value in it and honestly everyone knows to much already. There is nothing to learn and reducing it to sex or some biological process has made sex a dull and cheap act. Its the person you our with that brings it to life and makes it special but its much better in private.

    • rhondakim profile imageAUTHOR

      rhondakim 

      5 years ago from New York City

      Thank you so much for your comments, Celebritie and Brad2001! Brad2001, I really appreciate your kind words about my hub. No, not too graphic - after all, that's what we're talking about! Yes, I agree with the points you made about the fragile ego. Very interesting.

    • Brad2001 profile image

      Bradley Kaye 

      5 years ago from Lewiston, New York

      Great post! the fact is that men are hardwired differently. Women who must rear children, give birth, are thinking of sex in reproductive, and in terms of a serious relationship. Plus, there is a certain sense that pornography gratifies the fragile male ego. Have you noticed that in most porn movies the end involves a woman graciously accepting the man's (ahem!) gift orally, which is to say, I will accept all of you, even this part of your anatomy that society tells you is gross (its a boost to the man's self esteem, which is probably pretty low considering he is masturbating rather than making love to an actual person). Yes, men think of this completely different. Anyway, hope this was not too graphic, but alas, I am new to hubpages. You should check out my hubs! Warm Wishes!

    • celebritie profile image

      celebritie 

      7 years ago

      interesting topic, the title says should women allow men, I think it is something women have no control over as far as she is concerned she could make it clear she does not want him watching it in front of her or in the house or something but it will not stop him from doing it somewhere else, like at work.

      I was surprised to hear how many employers do not realize that their employees are watching porn on their computers while at work.

      Maybe if american men moved to France or Brazil they would not be so obsessed with naked women because they are easily seen their on the beaches.

    • cathylynn99 profile image

      cathylynn99 

      7 years ago from northeastern US

      my husband doesn't like porn.

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