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Should You Live Together?

Updated on January 31, 2020

Should You Live Together?

Frustrated, you sit in traffic pondering the past two years of your relationship. You’ve had four tickets, one accident, and roughly 72 spilled drinks in route to their house. All this could be avoided by living together. Marriage is out of the question right now, but cohabitation is an attractive idea. You’d save a ton of money on rent, food, utilities, etc., and you’ll have your best friend by your side all the times. What is there to lose?

Let’s Look at the Statistics

According to a report by The CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics, there are shocking reasons why you should get married rather than live together if you want longevity in your relationship.

WHAT? Did you read that right? Get Married Instead?

After interviewing approximately 11,000 women between the ages of 15-44 with various backgrounds, religious beliefs, social classes and economic means, the study exposed the following:

Unmarried cohabitations overall are less stable than marriages. The probability of a first marriage ending in separation or divorce within 5 years is 20 percent, but the probability of a premarital cohabitation breaking up within 5 years is 49 percent. After 10 years, the probability of a first marriage ending is 33 percent, compared with 62 percent for cohabitations.” – CDC Series Report 23, Number 22. 103pp. (PHS) 98-1998

Double Take

You read that twice or more didn’t you? If you are like us, that is more confusing than solving a Chinese algebra equation. What exactly is the report saying? Are they actually suggesting that you should get married to increase the chance of your relationship succeeding? In our opinion, NO.

Statistics Vs. Reality

There is a huge disparity between statistics and your reality. Remember when all the news media outlet polls predicted Trump to lose the election in 2016? Those statistics were based on feedback from various people, organizations, and businesses. It was just a small sampling from a select group of people. As the voting results were realized, it became clear that the poll statistics were wrong. “Hugely” wrong.

Similarly, the CDC only sampled 11,000 women. The world has over 7.7 billion people sucking down its resources. Out of this, according to the National Institute of Demographics, 49.6% of the population is women. That would mean that the quantity of women polled in the CDC report only represents .0000028803 percent of the women of the world! Would you place a bet with those odds?

Statistical Nerds

If you are a statistical nerd and live or die by numbers, you’d be crazier than a road lizard to get married, much less cohabitate. Live your life in your personal bubble, deal with the traffic and forge forward. After all, living alone has many advantages:

1. Your own personal space
2. The mess you make is only yours
3. All the food in the house is yours to eat
4. Only YOU can lose the television remotes
5. You can fart at will
6. It’s hard to argue with yourself
7. The bed is all yours
8. You can only be blamed for leaving the cap off the toothpaste
9. You are never wrong
10. Restaurant choices aren’t a problem

Statistical Rebels

You are individual who throws statistical caution to the wind, follows your heart and believes in nothing risked. You believe that there are millions of people living in harmony both together and married. It’s an absolute certainty you can be one of them. Just keep in mind:

1. Your personal space is now only in the bathroom….IF you are lucky
2. Double the mess, double the cleanup
3. Your personal food inventory depletes rapidly and unexpectedly
4. Let the blame-game begin on WHO lost the television remotes and WHO will look for them in the couch creases.
5. Learn to love the “fart lap” around the house outside
6. Arguments happen. There’s nowhere to hide.
7. Your sliver at the edge of the bed is your friend
8. It’s your fault the cap is off the toothpaste
9. There’s two sides to every story and 50% of the time, you’ll be wrong
10. You wish there was a restaurant named “I don’t care”, “Whatever you want”, or “What do you feel like”

Conclusion

Living together and/or marriage is a rough road. It takes patience, time, understanding, communication and the belief that nothing is more important than your significant other. While statistics are important for many things, it’s not necessarily a guideline for you to base your relationship goals. Buckle up, own your decision, and take the wild ride!

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      2 months ago from Chicago

      "The probability of a first marriage ending in separation or divorce within 5 years is 20 percent, but the probability of a premarital cohabitation breaking up within 5 years is 49 percent."

      I suspect it's because breaking up is FREE and getting a divorce can cost a ton of money after accumulating 5 years of "assets" together! Another way of looking at is unmarried couples who are unhappy are less likely to "go along to get along" versus those who are married. Even with that the divorce rate is almost 50%.

      A breakup or divorce is a public admission a mistake was made in someone's mate selection process. Human beings make mistakes! This includes selecting the "right mate or spouse".

      There are three basic reasons why couples split up.

      1. They chose the wrong mate. (They're too incompatible.)

      2. A "deal breaker" was committed in the eyes of one of them.

      3. They fell out of love/grew apart over time.

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.

      No one is "stuck" with anyone. Suffering is optional.

      There is no amount of "work" or "communication" which can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want.

      Compatibility trumps compromise.

      Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

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