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Should Husbands and Wives Tell Each Other Everything?

Updated on December 21, 2019

I think husbands and wives should tell each other everything that is important To the marriage and relationship. But I don't think a spouse needs to reveal every single detail that happened in her day. For instance if a man winked at you or said hello to you with a smile your significant other doesn't need to know that that might be more harmful than beneficial to tell him he might see it as you are trying to make him jealous or feel like he has something to worry about. Men want to feel safe and secure in their relationship just as much as women do.

Talk about your private affairs on a need to know basis. A husband doesn't need to know the graphic details of every rodeo his wife has been to. But he needs to know if the child she's carrying isn't his. Conversely, a wife doesn't need to know her husband's first sexual encounter was with his lifelong friend.

The main reason for the problems in most marriages is because we failed to talk to each other before boundaries were crossed. I’ve learned that talking with the “spouse” about what’s really going on with me is one of the most difficult things to do simply because of my own fears and insecurities that come from the thought of making yourself vulnerable. More often than not I find myself looking back at where problems started and saying “If I just could say something”. Strive to be an open book.

For the most part, I do believe in having an open-door policy in a marriage. Husbands and wives should be honest about their feelings, financial circumstances, any struggles experienced with their faith, anything that is bothering one of the parties, just to name a few examples. Generally , wife and husband shall be best friends at first. But, about cheating in some cases or saying something that can caused other person to be jealous or reason to distrust you, better not to tell him/ her. This is the reality.

What I am suggesting is a couple should not purposely keep information from one another. These pieces of information may be embarrassing or harmful to your marriage, yet it is better to show your wife you are completely willing to be honestly transparent if she really wants those details.

That said, trying to compete with each other for selfish pleasures is not going to enhance your relationship. Like two elementary school kids comparing the grossest thing they can think of together. That does not engender the relationship it is simply an ego boosting competition. Do not let your marriage sink so low.

One of the highest needs that many women crave is a person who will be open and honest in free flowing conversation with them. Perhaps this is what your wife is seeking and why you are asking this question? Be willing to let your life show true vulnerability while exercising helpful care for her heart.

Well everything important. Both partners should be involved in major financial decisions, and should know the major details of what you are thinking, what is going on at work, etc.

I do believe there are times when it is helpful not to tell your spouse everything. If your are sharing feelings you are having for the purpose of hurting your spouse, or getting back at them for something you need to examine your motives as to why you are sharing this information. We all have things about our spouses that we wish we could change, but sometimes it’s better to accept that they are the way they are and it isn’t worth inflicting hurt on them to make them aware that there is something about them you don’t like.


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    • Sanae Dahmouni profile imageAUTHOR

      Sanae Dahmouni 

      3 months ago from TAOURIRT

      You are right we all want less " drama ".

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      3 months ago from Chicago

      By being on the "same page" I mean wanting the same things for the relationship. When two people are constantly at odds with one another fighting and arguing it's usually sign they're "incompatible".

      The older one gets the less "drama" they want in their life. :)

    • Sanae Dahmouni profile imageAUTHOR

      Sanae Dahmouni 

      3 months ago from TAOURIRT

      Firstly Thank you for reading my article I appreciate It

      We both agree about the communication part but I’m not sure about the same values . yes I’m sure it helps but that’s not mean the relationship should work because we both are in the same page .

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      3 months ago from Chicago

      "I think husbands and wives should tell each other everything that is important To the marriage and relationship."

      Almost everyone would (agree) with that statement.

      The challenge is not everyone agrees on what is "important".

      Each of us has our own boundaries and "deal breakers":

      One person for example might consider (flirting) as cheating while another person sees it as harmless fun to pass the time.

      Ideally you want to choose a mate who shares (your) values.

      The mistake many people make is they automatically (assume) everyone defines love the same way or agrees upon what is or isn't {acceptable behavior} in a relationship or marriage.

      People lie and keep secrets because they know their partner may not approve of their actions and they don't want to stop doing it.

      Communication is often stated as being "the key". However the "soulmate" myth implies your "soulmate" will (instinctively) know what to do and say {without you} having ask or convey your expectations!

      In fact it's not uncommon to hear someone say to their mate:

      "I shouldn't have to (ask) you to...etc."

      Communication is the GPS for relationships.

      It lets you know if you're on the same page and have the same wants and expectations. We're either growing together or growing apart.

      There's no amount of communication or work which can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want.

      Before we choose to enter into an "exclusive relationship" with someone we need to invest some time to figure out if we share the same values. Each of us chooses our friends, lovers, and spouse. Choose wisely!

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