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- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
Should you Trust the Timing or Just Let Go?
Some people say that when it is over it is over. There is no going back. They believe that if someone hurts you once they will hurt you again. They believe that if it didn't work out in the past what makes you think that it will work in the future? If that is the case then how come two people keep coming back to each other? How come they keep crossing each other's path's and both of them still have feelings for each other and want to keep on trying and believing to make it work? How come sometimes the universe sends people signs that reminds people of the other person?
By all means if a person is cheating and abusive do not take that person back. Cheaters do not really change although there is that on chance in a million that the person who cheated is sorry and wants to make things right with the person he or she loves. If that is the case then I would be very careful and keep your guard up because if he or she cheated once there is a high chance that he could cheat again. Take things slow to see if that person has truly changed. As for abusers they need to get help. It is a very dangerous situation to be in. Things only keep on getting worse if you keep on going back to that person. The consequences will leave you very messed up.
What I am talking about is people who meet young and want two totally different things. Then there is a scenario where people meet but there is a 6 year age gap. The older person wants love and a relationship and the younger person just wants to play the field. Instead of the younger person being honest and telling the older person that he or she does not want a relationship he or she puts the older person through hell. He or she says things like "I can't be in a relationship because I have no money." "We can't be together because we are from different worlds."
If you are a good person you will stand by this person's side because you believe that things can change. You try motivating this person and waiting around. You turn down other people for this person when in reality this person is playing you. This person is talking to 10 other girls or guys and telling them the same exact thing that he or she is telling you. He or she will only text you once a month when he or she wants to fool around and when you say no he or she will go on Instagram and like a bunch of selfies from the opposite sex.
If you keep waiting around for this person you are going to cry and be in so much pain. Your friends tell you move on. They tell you find someone new. There is something about this person though that you want. You see good in this person. When you go your separate ways it is one of the most painful experiences you are crying all the time. You just wish that he or she would come back and he or she would work things out with you. You don't just go your separate ways once you go your separate ways three times. Until the day comes when something big happens and he finally leaves for good.
Have you ever went back and fourth with someone before?
You believe he is going to come back because he came back the other times. Then the truth finally hits you. You are not the only girl or guy in his life. Deep down you knew it along. You were trying to make something work that was not there. You look at your life since he left and see that it is actually pretty great. A lot of positive people entered and you were able to get your positivity back. You are ready to move onto someone new. You now know how you deserve to be treated. When all of a sudden he comes back into your life and asks for forgiveness. Not only that every song on the radio reminds you of him and your situation.
You try to be strong but deep down you wonder "Am I going to be with him in the future?" "Why does he keep showing up in my life?"
You think back to movies and stories where people met young and didn't work out. Then they met years later in a coffee shop and they were at a better place and they couldn't be happier.
You never know where life takes you but never let yourself be mistreated. Never let someone continue to walk all over you. If something is meant to be it will happen. If two people are meant to be together they eventually will find their way back to each other in the end but that does not mean that you should settle for the person who is always causing you stress and making you unhappy.
- The Truth About On-Again, Off-Again Couples | Psychology Today
Relationship cycling is known to be dangerous in dating relationships, but what happens if those relationships transition into cohabitation or marriage? Does everything settle into a happy, satisfying relationship?