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Should You Friend A Guy You're Dating On Facebook?

Updated on April 21, 2014
Miss-Adventures profile image

My passion is writing about love, sex, dating, and relationships. I write based on my own personal experiences and those that I relate to.

Facebook has made it easier to connect with friends from your past, stay in touch with current friends, as well as develop new friendships, acquaintances or business contacts. Depending on how someone has developed their page—what photos or posts they have, can really tell you about the person. Although this information could be relevant when dating, should you friend a guy that you just started dating or have been dating for awhile—but isn't your boyfriend?

Since Facebook is a huge media for social connection, it can be easy to ponder if you should connect with a guy you like on this site.

Depending on how long a guy has been on Facebook, how often he visits his page and what information he shares, you can end up knowing a great deal about him. What his likes and interests are: music, movies, tv shows, books and places he's been. You can see who his friends are, and possible an ex-girlfriend(s)—who she was and what she look liked. You can find out what activities he likes, groups he's following, as well as basic information—where he's originally from, his birthday and what he does for a living (if you haven't talked about that yet). The more information he shares on his Facebook page can imaginably be a plethora of knowledge at your fingertips.

Although this natural intrigue to know more about a guy that you're interested in or possibly dating can be tempting, and somewhat thrilling—be careful what you wish for.

When he opens his Facebook page to you, you are also opening yours to him. Accepting a friend request isn't necessarily a good thing and in some cases, can potentially hurt a relationship since it exposes you.

Are you ready for him to see all the guys you might have photos of from your past that are still on your page—giving him cause to possibly question or have an issue with? Have your friends or possibly you posted photos that could potentially turn him off or create a different image of you in his mind (good or bad)? Do you want him to know what you do for a living or where you work—especially if you haven't dated long to establish his mental frame of mind?

On the flip-side—as much as you might think that you want to know everything or as much as possible about a guy you're in to, when you do—too much too soon, it not only takes away the mystery, but can also cause you to have insecurities and doubts.

How would it make you feel if he has a lot of photos with girls that are friends or most of the friends he's friended happen to be women? Or, what about possibly seeing intimate photos (lots of them) of him with his ex-girlfriend—kissing, on trips together spending holidays, dinners, special events, etc. Are you able to not let that affect you emotionally, especially if you find out that they are still friends?

Ladies, there are obviously great reasons to friend a guy that you like, or are dating on Facebook, however, will it really bring you that much closer when you can see that he has taken the time to post a comment, but hasn't utilized the same effort to send you a text or give you a call that same day?

Until you know the true status of your relationship and have a built a solid foundation together, my advice—avoid friending each other. Keep the mystery in the relationship, and one less lazy tool for communicating out. This way, if the relationship doesn't work out, you're not struggling with the decision to unfriend him or not. Do you really want to torture yourself with seeing his updated status—posts of what he's been up to and photos of the new girl he's dating? Ladies, keep the cra-cra out, and avoid putting yourself in a potentially gut-wrenching Facebook stalking situation in the future.

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    • Miss-Adventures profile image
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      Stephanie Bailey 3 years ago from Denver

      Thank you for reading!

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      Excellent points! (Voted up and useful!)

      The reality is Facebook can also be used as tool for stalking.

      Sometimes people you barely know will send out "friend request" to your friends in order to monitor you. Facebook and other social media feel what makes them great is having everyone you know "updated" with your every move on your "timeline". While this may seem ideal for keeping up with long distance family and friends it could spark trouble within the relationship arena. Lets face it, most dating relationships do NOT lead to marriage or even last beyond a year or two if they make it past six months!

      Befriending people too soon has no upside.