Warning Signs That Your Marriage Might End in Divorce
Signs That Your Marriage in in Trouble
Successful marriages require time, energy, attention, and vigilance. Marriage takes effort and commitment. Most divorce cases one of the spouses is surprised when the divorce papers are delivered to him/her. Getting comfortable with the status quo and taking things for granted is one of the biggest mistakes married couples make. My purpose of writing this hub is to highlight those warning signs couples ignore before the marriage finally crashed.
If arguments with your spouse become routine with all the same issues and you lack effective conflict resolution, then the bond of the marriage is eroding because couples who have not evolved a way to resolve differences without injury to the relationship end up in divorce court. It may be that one or both of you are simply dissatisfied with the marriage. The meaning is that someone has given up.
When every action you take is being watched and criticized by your partner, there is problem, which if not resolved could lead to divorce. Nothing you do is right in his/her eyes. The frequent criticism of your partner could make you feel intimidated or afraid; and cause you to lose interest in the marriage.
Emotional disengagement is absolutely necessary for the development and maintenance of intimacy. You are supposed to be an encourager to your spouse. You should be excited about your mate’s success, available to comfort him/her when he/she is sick. Interest in the emotional life of the other and empathic engagement of each other’s emotional life all constitute the required elements for an intimate relationship, when this becomes lacking, it is obvious sign that the marriage is in trouble.
Breakdown in Communication
Do you and your partner spend hours together under the same roof, at social engagements, yet rarely engage in meaningful conversation? In marriage, we are to study our mates thoroughly in order to gain wisdom, understanding, and knowledge about them. We do that by relating to them through open and genuine conservation. When communication breaks down between couple, this often indicates that there is something is wrong. When you see a couple sitting in silence with little or no eye contact and have little or no conservations, the couple is on the verge of divorce. Communication doesn’t happen automatically. Effective communication takes a lot of hard, well-planned work. Marital wisdom, understanding and knowledge come through many patient hours of communication.
Lack of affection
Marital problems are accompanied by the withdrawal of affection. You find yourself living in the same house with your partner but never really connecting. You realize your sense of fun and joy has been replaced by compliancy and resignation. If your spouse has disengaged emotionally from you, he/she probably doesn’t feel much love for you. You can’t afford to lose your feeling of bonding and closeness with your partner. Shake things up and put some variety in your marriage. Without emotional closeness, your marriage will lose its passion and momentum.
Lack of sex
A considerable decline in physical affection is one of the most recognized symptoms of a failing relationship. You realize that your spouse has developed a pattern of trying to avoid going to bed when you do and sleeping in same bed with you, because they want to avoid having sex with you. Intimacy is the act that allows us to bond as husband and wife. Sex both expresses and reinforces emotional connectedness. When a couple has not had sex in a long time it is usually a reliable indicator that emotional disengagement is advancing steadily. Your wife may say that a child won’t go to sleep unless she lies down with the child. Then, she ends up going to sleep in the child’s room, while giving the excuse that she didn’t want to wake you up or that the she fell asleep without meaning to. This may be true, but when it becomes a regular occurrence, it is warning sign the marriage is heading for the rock.
When your spouse is usually agitated or anxious when you walk in unexpectedly while he/she is on the computer, you have to watch out. When answering a phone call, he/she may lower his/her tone when you enter, or cut the call. It could just be a coincidence, but it may also be that your partner is involved in doing something that he/she does not want you to see. He/she might be seeking emotional support outside. To know if it’s nothing or if something is happening will take observation over a period of time.
Focus outside the marriage
Marriage without affection is very boring. Some couples compensate for this by directing their attention to their children so that they become the sole content of their family life. Others pour themselves further into careers; working late every night so the time with the partner is minimized. This certainly is a wake up alarm that it’s time to make your marriage a top priority because as emotional satisfaction is sought exclusively outside the marriage the probability of having an affair with a co-worker becomes high.
You realize that you don’t know who your partner really is any more. Your spouse has a significant change in moods, socialization patterns, enjoyment of life, or grooming appearance. There may also be uncharacteristic isolation from friends and family, as well as loss of interest in life. However, a drastic decline in personal appearance and hygiene by your spouse could be a sign of they no longer care or, are happy in the marriage. A spouse may become depressed and sometimes the mate doesn’t put the clues together to realize that his/her spouse has lost interest in the marriage.
When the relationship between and your spouse becomes dull and stale, your spouse or both of you could become more susceptible to the lure of an affair. Deliberately schedule plans to save your marriage from boredom by trying new things and going to new places, and of course, look at how you could spice up your sex life with your mate could be an option for saving the marriage.
Preparation for a single life
When your spouse start doing things to enhance his/her looks it may be to improve his/her dating prospects. When the marriage is failing, it is typical for your spouse to begin preparing herself or himself by getting in shape, losing weight, attending to hair and wardrobe and other things to enhance appearance.
If you notice these signs in your marriage, it’d be understatement to say that your marriage is in serious trouble. But I can say that these signals, or at least most of them, are present in almost every marriage before it hit the divorce court. When you notice these signs it is time to have a long and honest talk with your spouse in order to save the marriage.