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Signs a Man is Cheating

Updated on September 26, 2016
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The gut feeling is like no other. You heart is pounding, your stomach is aching. You feel angry and sad at the same time. Could your man really be cheating on you?

Without absolute proof, no one can know for sure. But, here are some common signs that he is being unfaithful.



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1. Secret Phone

The sign:

Has your man just started having his phone attached to his hip? Does he often times seem to be texting someone with no explanation? Does he receive calls at odd hours and leave the room or ignore them like they never happened?

If your man has always been an open book about his social life and phone uses, but is now suddenly getting secretive, he could be up to something. Another woman could be texting and calling and he is trying to keep it from you.

What you can do:

Simply ask him who he is texting. Or, who is calling him at odd hours. If he really is hiding something he may become overly defensive and lash out. This is another sign that something is up. If it is simply a buddy he is talking to he will gladly show you. Don't be sneaky and try to look at his phone while he's in the bathroom. Give him the benefit of the doubt, at first.


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2. More Time Away

The sign:

Has your man started having more boys-nights-out? Has he often called to say he was going to have to stay at the office late? Does he make excuses to cancel a date night? Does he seem less interested in staying in with you? All of these signs could mean your man is straying.

What you can do:

Just because your man is spending more time with his friends does not mean he is up to no good. If you feel like your man is lying and is not actually with his buddies, verify. You don't have to be crazy and call every friend he is with to make sure where he is at. But, you can make some excuse to email or text his buddy he said he was with-- a few days later-- to ask him something random. Most cheating men don't cover their tracks well, you may be able to spot a simple slip up. If he is making excuses about hanging out with you, sit down and talk with him to see if you can get answers.

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3. Dress & Appearance Changes

The sign:

Has your husband suddenly been more interested in shopping? Is he picking up new underwear often? Is he going to get his haircut and shaving when he never cared much before? Is he working out more than usual?

Sometimes, things like this aren't noticed by significant others, because we think our man is just trying to look good! But, when a new love interest enters our man's life, often he cares much more about how he looks.

What you can do:

Compliment your man on his looks and look for his reaction. If he seems genuinely appreciative and gives an explanation for his new grooming habits he may really be doing it for you. Also, try to recognize looks of embarrassment or him accusing you of random things. He may automatically assume you are angry he is spending more money--anything like this is a red flag.

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4. Attitude Change

The sign:

Is your partner becoming overly distant from you? Does he no longer want to tell you anything about his day? Does he have no interest in sex?

Or, is your man being overly sexual? Is he showering you with unexpected trips or gifts?

Although the above are opposites both can be a sign of an unfaithful partner. Some men pull away while they are involved with someone else, while others try to steer away their guilt by giving you gifts and attention.

What you can do:

Not much can really be done with this one. Be very careful with the approach. If a man is pulling away, it doesn't always mean he is cheating. One must bring up this subject cautiously. Same goes with excusing a "loving" partner of paying attention to you because of unfaithfulness. Make sure other signs are involved before bringing anything up.

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5. Affection is Gone

The sign:

Is your man not hugging you and kissing you anymore? Is the normal hand holding gone? Does he no longer roll over to cuddle for a bit before bed? Does he only want sex, but no affection?

If you once affection driven man is giving you less attention out of nowhere, he could be messing around.

What you can do:

Often, after men (and women) get comfortable in relationships they lose the initial I-can't-keep-my-hands-off-you type of affection. But, if your man refuses to even kiss you while doing the deed, you may have reason for concern. Ask him what is up, without accusations. He may be simply be taking your love and/or marriage for granted and will change his actions for you--or you may see in his eyes that something else is going on.

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6. Angry

The sign:

Is your man a lot more angry then he used to be? Does he lash out on every little thing you say? Does he often accuse you of cheating? All of this can be signs your partner is straying. Because your man is feeling guilty for his infidelity he may get angry at you so he can justify his actions in his own head.

What you can do:

A lashing out partner does not always mean infidelity is involved. Talk to your man about his recent behavior. Give him time to apologize or explain why he has been acting the way he has. Maybe he has had a stressful few weeks at work. If your partner denies being more angry or blames you for his anger there may something or someone else to blame.

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7. Talking About Someone Else

The sign:

Has your man started talking about a new woman at work, a lot? Has your spouse, after a few drinks, started complaining about someone new to his circle of friends?

Whether the talk is good or bad, talking in excess about someone new is never a good sign. You know the feeling when you frist get into a relationship, and everything talked about reminds your of this new person? This could be what's happening with him.

What you can do:

Don't overreact if your man is mentioning a new woman at work. At least he is admitting that he does indeed communicate with this woman. Just, be very aware of how often this person comes up in daily conversations. Also, don't be fooled if you he often complains about someone, there is a fine line between love and hate. If this seems to be happening a lot see if there is a way you can meet this person, and watch for your man's reaction.

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8. Friends Act Weird

The signs:

Have you always go along great with your guy's friends, but now they act strange around you? Will your friend's girlfriend's not look you in the eye anymore? Do his friends seem overly distant?

Often times a man's friends are the first or only people to know about his infidelity. Even though your man might be a dirtbag, it doesn't mean his friends don't feel guilty out of association.

What you can do:

Often times a guy's friend wil be the last one on earth to openly admit his buddies faults. But, if you can tell something is really up, try to pull one of your guy's friend's wives or significant others aside. If they know something is up, and are confronted about it, will often tell you what they know.


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9. Smells Different

The signs:

Does your man seem to smell different when he gets home? Does he rush to the bathroom to take a shower or change his clothes? Does he go to the bathroom to brush his teeth before even greeting you?

All these signs, although old-school, are obvious cues of unfaithfulness.

What you can do:

Catch him before he walks in the door and give him a hug and kiss. Test his reaction. If he changes his clothes right away, inspect the one's he took off while doing laundry. Do they smell of a different perfume, soap, or show any signs of make-up stains that aren't yours?


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10. Your Gut

The sign:

Do you just have a strong feeling he is stepping out on you? Have you never been hurt in the past, but have a gut feeling you a being betrayed?

Often times a woman's sixth sense is her best tool. If you have a strange feeling that something isn't right, you may likely be correct.

What you can do:

One must be very careful here. A lot of us have been cheated on in the past, so we are damaged by this in a sense. Don't let past lover's hurts lead you to to think your present lover is stepping out without any reasoning. If your gut, plus other signs mentioned above are present, it may be time to step away or have a long talk with your man.

How To Be Sure

Aside from catching your partner in the act, nothing can give you undeniable proof that he is being unfaithful. Make sure you are putting aside past relationships when assessing your current. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt before making accusations. But, if there are overwhelming occurrences of the above, you may need to investigate further or leave the relationship all together.


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    • profile image

      jancat13 3 years ago

      I feel so stupid I know in my heart he is a cheater and is walking around with warts said he got it from a tolet.

    • profile image

      prolesbian 3 years ago

      These articles are biased. Woman have you realized that lesbianism has been on the rise in the female culture as well as men 9/10 the author of these hubs or similar articles from different stories are homosexual. This goes for men and woman. Open your eyes to the bigger picture. Just by relevance. They are promoting homosexuality. Its indicative of you to seek pure knowledge. You didn't have to read an article to realize you knew what to do all along. Common. A woman is telling another woman once a cheater always a cheater. All men will cheat forever. So men are no good. Woman are the best. This is how another woman will lure into becoming curious. Because who understands your feelings and emotions? That's right another woman! These articles are helping you become more and more vulnerable. There are plenty of apple trees in this world. Not all of them will make it to the apple section in the grocery store. But even some bad apples will be put in with the good apples and even these bad apples will be purchased because its still edible. Im not saying stay with your man/woman if they are cheating. But don't hate men. We are all curious about life. 1 lifetime is a longtime. Woman and men are the same creatures. An animal goes through life without a map. Why is one woman solving all your relationship problems? Is she a god? NO! STICK TO YOUR MEN, GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THE PROBLEM BY SITTING HIM DOWN AND TALKING ABOUT THE ISSUE. YOUR THE 1 AS WELL AS HE, CAN BREAK THE CYCLE OF INFIDELITY. This is why men don't understand woman! He cheated on you so he must be gay? Common. If he is gay he will tell you in your setting of open conversation to get to the bottom. Open your ears your heart and most importantly your mind. Remember this no matter how many times in life you sin god is said to forgive as long as you confess to him.Iron the wrinkles in understanding out. Plant a new seed of love. Its like removing the whole root and planting it in another location to keep the flower of LOVE alive. It may not of been getting the proper attention be for so it started dying. The foundation from which the plant is surrounded by may not of been good soil. May be as a child this is what he/she may very well been a victim to by family members. Nurture this plant and keep it alive, take care of it and in the end your blessings will be fruitful. You can always break the cycle. By just throwing it out. But the rewards of fixing the problem will be 100 greater and you will see that this same person will give you the greatest love in life you've ever experienced. Because all men woman will continue this never ending cycle if you continue to just let someone else deal with it. You will get mr.ms perfect once again. And the result will be the same. Then you will look to the same sex for comfort. You will see that, once you do that you've lost the relationship between man and woman. And there will be no more man and woman.

    • AmandaJon profile image

      Amanda Jones 4 years ago

      This was a very good Hub for relationships. Thank You!

    • LensMan999 profile image

      LensMan999 4 years ago from Trans-Neptunian region

      Nice and usefulhub especially for women. But men can also learn a lotfrom this hub. There is no cheating between couples who are in love with each other. So such problems won't arise.

    • vibesites profile image

      vibesites 4 years ago from United States

      My guy doesn't cheat on me, just yet... though I'll still keep this for reference! Hehehehe. Thanks for sharing.