- Gender and Relationships
Signs of a True Friend
A true friend is a needle in a haystack. You are lucky if you have found one because a true friend is a treasure. She is a precious gem who should be handled with care and kept in your heart. Finding a person who is true is a never-ending process. Sometimes, the person you consider a friend is a wolf clothed in sheep's skin and ends up taking advantage of you or much worse, becomes a traitor. Here are some points to take into consideration in spotting a true friend.
1. A friend should be honest- You need someone to give you a reality check when you are falling off the wagon. A true friend points out your mistakes and tells your flaws like it is. This is a sign of sincerity. A person who speaks the truth is a rare breed. Sometimes, it's not wise to sugarcoat your statements. It's much easier to vent what's inside you. The truth hurts. Therefore, you are doing a disservice to them if you don't tell them exactly how you feel.
2. A friend would go anywhere for you- I envy those people who have friends they can talk to in the middle of the night. When you badly need assistance, you don't need to ask for help. Your friend will be the first person who will knock on your door to alleviate the pain you are having. Generosity is important. A person who is willing to sacrifice onself is one-of-a-kind.
3. She must know how to keep a secret- You can hardly find people who have this essential trait. There are some things that are better off unsaid. If you could confide your innermost secrets to somebody, be sure that person will take that secret to her grave. If she is a talker, be wary because she might talk behind your back. Be on the look out for loose lipped individuals.
4. She should accept you for who you are- It is important to be yourself in front of your friends. You don't have to wear masks to conceal your true personality. Inhibitions have no place in a friendship. A friend should accept your shortcomings. They are not your friends if they only accept you for what you have, your status, and the friends you keep.
5. A friend will stand by you no matter what- Count your friends when the rain is falling and not while the sun is shining. Some people have millions of friends when everything is bright and sunny. When the person falls from grace and the dust has been settled, that's when you know who your real friends are. This doesn't mean you should condone your friend's mistakes. People need a strong support system to help them rise from the ashes. A true friend should always be there for you through thick and thin, lean or fat.
6. She should bring out the best in you- A person who drags you down is not a friend. If she leads you to the wrong path, then drop her like a hot potato. You are judged by the friends you keep. If you hang out with the wrong people, your spirit will go down the drain. Be sure the people you select will guide you to the right path.
7. Never pick someone who talks behind your back- This is similar to what I said in rule no. 3. A friend will never badmouth you. If she is pissed off, she will tell it to your face and not to other people. Keep an eye on hypocrites. You should never befriend somebody who says nasty things about a person, but smiles when she is in front of the person she is badmouthing.
8. A friend knows where to draw the line- There are things you should keep to yourself. Know your limits. If you are being abused for your generosity, then raise the white flag. You can only take as much. Learn when to say no. If you have plenty of things on your plate, learn what to prioritize. There may be instances when you are not available. If that happens, tell your friend to call you up after dinner time or when you are finished handling your business.
9. A true friend will swallow her pride- She should be able to own up to her mistakes. If she thinks she is right all the time or is condescending, then your friendship is doomed. It's normal for friends to have disagreements. It is appropriate to be contrite and to start all over. A friend should know how to apologize.
10. Be a friend- If you want to find real friends, then be one. Don't be judgmental and don't give your complete trust either. Just have an open heart to all the possibilities. Be yourself. Don't try to fit in. A friend accepts you for your kind personality. A true friendship stands the test of time. It evolves gradually. Get to know the person first and from there, you are off to something special.