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Silly excuses not to wear a condom

Updated on June 17, 2014

Some of the Most Silly Excuses I Have Ever heard from a man not to Wear a Condom.

This is a compilation of some of the most silly excuses I have ever heard from a man not to wear a condom. Some of them are from my own experience, while others come from male and female friends and there are also a few that I picked up from the internet.

Please feel free to add the silliest excuses you have ever heard in the comments section. You can also add any silly excuse that you have tried, but please let us know whether it worked or not. If you are brave enough also let us know whether you were naïve enough to fall for it or not.

Things Men Say to Avoid Using Condoms

  • I don’t have any!!!

  • What, you don't trust me?

  • I thought YOU would have one, I don’t.

  • I am allergic.

  • There wasn’t any left in the machine.

  • I left them in the car’s glove compartment and they melted!

  • They hurt me, they cut the blood off.

  • I'm too big, I cannot wear them.

  • We didn’t use one last time and it was ok, wasn’t it?

  • I'll pull out before I finish.

  • It's like having a bath with your socks on.

  • I never wear them and I am ok, I’ve never had an STD

  • I'm too embarrassed to buy them.
  • It ruins the mood

Do you always wear condoms?

Did you know that only 36% of 73 men who answered this question admitted to Always wearing a condom?

Using condoms every time you have sex offers the best protection from catching an STD, including HIV .

Do you always wear condoms?

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Non latex, Polyurethane condoms

More excuses...

  • They are too expensive, I don’t have money for that, I’d rather spend my money on you.

  • We don't need condoms, you're on the pill.

  • I had a vasectomy, we don’t need them.

  • Why? I don’t have any disease!

  • Don’t you trust me?
  • Condoms are so darn restrictive.
  • If you love me you wouldn’t ask me to wear one.

  • We’ve already gone this far, we can’t stop now.

  • I am better at it without one.

  • It ruins the mood.

  • Do you think you would catch something from me? Come on, I had a shower this morning!

  • They don’t work, my sister got pregnant with one.

  • Only if you can put it on with your mouth (with a big smile).

  • Why don’t YOU wear one?

  • I go limp when I wear them.

  • My religion forbids me from wearing condoms.

  • Better not wear one, I know a girl who had to go to hospital to have a condom removed!

  • I don’t enjoy it with a condom.

  • YOU wouldn’t like it with a condom!

  • We only need them if you are sleeping around, because I am not. Are you?

  • They could give you a rash!

  • It’s my birthday!

And you… have you given or heard any of these excuses?

The 6 CONDOM Mistakes You're Probably Making!

Unprotected sex is risk-taking, so why take the risk?


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    • Anath profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago

      Thanks kasanova, I am happy you find them interesting.

      Come on... surely you can bring out an original one rmshdc, :P

    • rmshdc profile image


      9 years ago from Bangalore

      funny and grossing one! Now I have some ready answer, the next time.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      you do have interesting set of hubs in a short time...great

    • Anath profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago

      It is funny and sad at the same time, can men not think of better excuses Robert?

    • robertsloan2 profile image


      9 years ago from San Francisco, CA

      Great humor -- and a few sad but true. There are men who will go around having sex outside marriage which is forbidden by their religion but not use a condom because that's forbidden by their religion. Sure if both of them are playing by the rules of their religion, maybe they don't need one. But it's a bit screwy of a priority.

    • Anath profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago

      Raggits: ups! at least you have a valid excuse if you ever need one ;-)

      compu-smart: indeed!

    • compu-smart profile image


      10 years ago from London UK

      Silly excuses with huge consequences if they are not used!

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      Great hub. I've heard almost all of them. And you only have problems if you use the natural skin condoms which I have never seen. I personally abstain from intercourse if there isn't a condom available. I happen to be allergic to latex. In ALL forms. :)

    • Anath profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago

      You are welcome Nicole.

    • Nicole Winter profile image

      Nicole A. Winter 

      10 years ago from Chicago, IL

      Ha! On the flip side of "I'm too big to wear a condom," my personal favorite... "It'll slip off." (In his defense, he was really... uhm... well, it probably would have slipped off.) Thanks for publishing these, Anath, gave me a good laugh!

    • Anath profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago

      I agree that some of the excuses are so ridiculous that all you can do is laugh jd966875.

      Is that YOUR excuse Brian?

    • BrianS profile image

      Brian Stephens 

      10 years ago from Castelnaudary, France

      I am too old to even worry about it.

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      Some of these are funny but overall, to me, they are a turn off.

      some of the excuses show how uneducated the person spouting them are. Im a 21 year-old college student and I've made it a point to educate myself on the topic of safe sex...

      As you said Anath, it may be funny now but its not when you're in the heat of passion.

      I really like your hub. Good Job.

    • Anath profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago

      It is amazing that some people Really can come up with these excuses Garrett.

      You are welcome M.Rose

      Some of them were not that funny when I heard them in the heat of passion ;-) only looking back I can laugh at them!

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      the funniest excuses i have ever heard.

    • M. Rose profile image

      M. Rose 

      10 years ago from Orange County, CA

      Some of these are hilarious! Thanks for the laughs :)

    • Garrett McLee profile image

      Garrett McLee 

      10 years ago from Florida

      Hahah this is funny.


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