Single @ Thirty?

What are the things that comes to your mind when you see a thirty year old single lady? Amazing? Talented? Submissive? Angry? Unhappy? Lost? Do you feel single women are misplaced and has lost her shelve life as some put it? Well let me explain what single at thirty means.

A woman who is not yet married at the age of thirty, even if she has a boyfriend or fiancé is still considered single and certainly unmarried. And it also means she is frustrated and lonely, and has gotten to a stage were it is most difficult for her to get a suitable spouse or ever find one. Almost everyone looks at her as unfortunate and is being mocked for being single. Bachelors sees her as a desperado and their aim is to use her like they "assume" the others have. Married women see them as a potential threat to their husbands, and society thinks these women are irresponsible.

Do what you love doing: Ask yourself, what do you love doing? Writing, singing, marketing, business, exercising, etc. Whatever it is you love doing, turn it into a creative hobby, engage it it regularly and let it keep you business.

Improve your career: If you don't have one yet, get one. A career adds to your fulfilment and self respect. You do not have to spend money to get this started; all you need is self development. Do lots of research and increase your interest on your desired field.

Build your self-esteem: This is something you have to do from within. A perfect figure, a beautiful face, or a prosperous career can not give you this. That's why the saying goes: sometimes a beautiful woman doesn't know her worth. So what you need to do, is to know your value, weigh it, appreciate it and tell it. You are a woman that demands respect for her values, those values you have kept and nurtured. You need to believe you are worth the peals and diamonds and the air around you, needs to breathe it too.

Be happy: A happy woman is not one who is married or single. A happy woman is one who radiates in and out no matter the ups and downs. A happy woman is one who doesn't look down on anyone, who doesn't feel she needs to be with someone to be happy, one who has cultivated lots beautiful qualities and is just so contented with herself. A happy woman is someone who will never allow herself to be deliberately hurt just to be married. A happy woman is loving and smart, and a treasure only real men can handle.

I have been in relationships when I was in my twenties. Those relationships didn't work out and at that moment I felt disappointed. But funny enough, I ended those relationships because I felt it wasn't what I needed. It was glaring I deserved better and I was not going to sacrifice my happiness and that of the other person just to be married.

Today, I look back at those men I loved, and some I should have loved, and I feel so happy that I never got married to any of them. Why you may ask? The answer is simply. I am now so mature and way past the desperate stage where every young girl between the ages of twenty five to twenty nine finds herself. That stage is so hard that you are just tempted to blind your eyes to potential dangers just for the sake of getting married.

Being single doesn't mean you are lonely. Some married ones are lonely too. The worst kind of loneliness is being in a terrible marriage. You just need to understand the difference between being lonely and being alone without a mate. There is a lot I did and have done to keep busy, and successful. I applied all those tips I mentioned earlier and I have built my career and self esteem.

You have to understand why you are single. You need to get the facts right so you don't allow society's views of desperation, loneliness, and frustration affect your thinking. You are not a bad person, you are not unlovable, you are not a heartbreaker, and you have every right to be choosy because both of your happiness matters.

I am Jade George Anibor. I am an undergraduate studying English language part-time. I am an author of four Ebooks and a motivational speaker. I have counselled both married and singles concerning love and relationships, building their self esteem and finding their part once again.

My desire is to soon publish a book entitled single @ thirty. It is not going to be a biography though, but a fictional story of a young single thirty year old lady and her huddles. Am certain almost every young girl will find a piece of herself in it, and learn a lot from the character.

Being single up till now has enabled me accomplish a lot! Ranging from my personality, to my abilities as an individual. I have learned to understand life and live it being happy. The fact is no one can actually make you happy, only you can do that. So if you don't start now while you are single to embrace happiness and be genuinely happy from within for being alive and love you for you, you will never be truly happy with someone else.

There is this ice in everyone because our needs are insatiable. There is always this coldness in us that knocks us down, and we feel we need someone to keep us warm because of that. The truth is we don't need to continue to use people to keep us warm. All we need do, is break the ice. Stop being unsatisfied, stop needing something that is not in you, build up what's in you and love yourself. You would be amazed at how much you have to offer yourself.

Why should thirty be a dreaded number? Why does it appear as a dead end to friends, family and onlooker's? Who set that pattern? And why is there an evil ward ever present to whip the single thirty year olds. I have tasted thirty and single and I love it! You can love it too.

First, how do we handle our friends? There will always be this question that goes this way: Any gist? What's happening? And when you begin to gist them about your career, they give you a deaf ear like what you saying is nonsense. Do not let that irritate you, or make you sober. Just redirect their question to them. Put simply; ask them to give you the gist, that they are the ones with the gist. And when their reply comes out like; what gist, has my story not ended? Tell them it hasn't. Every stage in life has a story, even old age has a story.

Secondly, your family members should be be the easiest to handle. Do you know why? They can really see your success, how wonderfully you have grown, and how much you now value, appreciate and love yourself. Trust me, they will not want anything to ruin that. They will encourage you and help in encouraging you to make the right decision, when you are about to settle with someone.

Thirdly, onlookers should be kept where they already are. Keep them at the other side of the team as onlookers observing your success, your triumph, your achieved ambitions. They only have a say when you let them.

Go out to meet well meaning people and have health fun. There is no clock for love. Love is simply the oldest of all. Ageless with no time table. Do not see every bachelor as a potential mate. Do not plan your wedding alone in your mind. Remember, most times the things we love most, also breaks us.

You are thirty, you are single, you are successful, you are brilliant, you are beautiful, your are mature, you are a responsible citizen, you are simply the best.