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Single and Seeking Someone Special? Dealing With Frustrating American Singles Dating Process

Updated on January 29, 2010

If you're single and seeking someone special to love, marry or just date, it's hard not to get discouraged by the frustrating American singles' dating process.

What makes matters worse is that singles often get bad dating advice from well-meaning family and friends; they often suggest that a single man or woman needs some form of makeover to find someone special.

If you're like most single women or men, you're probably having issues with your self-worth for not finding your soul mate or someone to date. You may be very vulnerable to suggestions that you're single and alone because you're too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, too much or too little of something.

So, what do you do?

You go on a diet to get thinner... or you bulk up by bodybuilding... or you get a new wardrobe or a new hairstyle... or you get a hair transplant or get hair removal done... blah... blah... blah. And when you still don't find that special someone, what do your well-meaning family and friends tell you? You must not have made enough changes! Don't you just want to scream?

Well, you don't have to go along with what people are saying. Yes, your family and friends have good intentions. But, you've probably heard that "the road to hell has been paved with good intentions."

When you're looking for that special someone, it's very important for you to take a closer look at yourself. Figure out who you really are and what your needs are. Learn to accept and respect yourself -- warts and all.

Of course, it's important to be the best person you can be and make the best use of your gifts. When it comes to finding someone special, you're most likely to be good enough to find someone wonderful just the way you are. If you're like most singles, you don't really need cosmetic changes or even a quick-fix therapy to find someone special. Someone out there will be very lucky to find someone like you.

What can you do if you're not meeting other interesting singles? Just like everything else, dating is a numbers game.

You have to meet a lot of singles to find the ones that share your interests and your values. And among these singles, you still have to find the ones that you can get along with. And among the singles that share your interests and values as well as those that you can also get along with, you also have to have chemistry. In addition to everything else, you have to be attracted to each other.

Can you see why it's extremely difficult to meet someone special if you're just relying on meeting a couple of singles every few weeks or months?

What's the solution?

Millions of American singles dating and meeting other interesting single men or women use online dating services or single's services in their local communities. When you can narrow down your choices to tens or even hundreds of singles in your area, finding someone special is no longer impossible. Imagine how you're going to feel when you finally find that special someone!

If you're single and seeking a special man or woman, you can take control of your love life and your social life. You can make it easier on yourself to find that special someone sooner rather than later by using local dating and matchmaking services or online singles' services (also known as cyberdating, computer or virtual dating). Enjoy singles' nights, dances, parties, events and other activities. You owe it to yourself to just do it.

You can meet new friends to hang out with. Meet someone to date or meet your soul mate. You deserve it. Just have fun!

Single and Seeking Other Singles For Fun? Using Local Matchmaking Services and Online American Singles' Dating Services Can Make the Process Easier

What do you think? Please share your comments.

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    • profile image

      Free Chat Line 

      7 years ago

      Not to mention, that it is easy to meet new people on the telephone, since everyone has one. Chat lines, let you go on a "date" without even leaving the safety of your own home.

    • profile image

      Seven Day Adventist Dating 

      8 years ago

    • allie8020 profile imageAUTHOR

      Allie Mendoza 

      8 years ago from San Francisco Bay Area, California

      Hi Cassy!

      It's great that you're happy with Cathy. I just got sooo mad when I read that that jerk of an ex-boyfriend of yours went out of his way to badmouth you to your boss. Who does that?

      Thank you sooo much for the link from your profile page. I think I'll put a link to your profile, too. I'll mention the "Encounters" and the job-related stuff. I'll do it after work tomorrow 'cuz it's already after 1 am.

      BTW: If you're using a URL tracker for getting new hubbers, make sure you double-check after you update your page. My trackers stop working and I always have to re-link again.

      About the dating stuff... You probably can meet really great people through friends and co-workers. Especially if they really know you, they can pre-screen people that you'll meet. But, some people are not quite as fortunate and need some help.

      When you have a chance, please visit my my blog again and check out my response to your comments. I left you some useful links for advanced keyword research and making more money while working less.

      Thank you for your kind words. I do like you and Cathy a lot. You're sooo nice and sweet. Take care!

      :) Allie

    • Cheeky Girl profile image

      Cassandra Mantis 

      8 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

      Wow! I am so smiling here at the way you are defending me against the ex from long time back. I am ok, I'm over him, Allie. Thanks for giving my "Encounters" hubs a plug. Actually, I have an admission. I have put a link on my profile page to you, Allie. Is that okay? I hope you don't mind. You are amongst the nicest Hubbers I have come across here since I wrote my first hub. I would like to see more people checking out your great hubs!

      I have to say, for possibly simple reasons, I have never been to a dating agency or club. I nearly always usually meet someone through my job, or friends of my friends. Cathy was an exception. I think also I am just very lucky with friends and that. But I know a girl who met a few guys throught an online uk site. She is dating a guy she met through it. So it can work!

      I always enjoy reading your hubs, Allie. Take care, my friend! : )

    • allie8020 profile imageAUTHOR

      Allie Mendoza 

      8 years ago from San Francisco Bay Area, California

      Hi Cheeky Girl! You're welcome and thanks for your comments, Cassy.

      For most singles who are having a tough time meeting other interesting singles, the services online and offline can be very helpful. If you're extremely lucky, you might meet someone special when you least expect it. I'm so happy for you that you had a chance meeting with Cathy in an Art Gallery (I think you mentioned this in your blog). You were both so brave -- and you deserve to be happy together.

      About that jerk of an ex-boyfriend of yours... well, good riddance! I think it was "lucky" for you that he showed his true colors. Otherwise, you probably would still be together and you would not have been available to meet Cathy. Besides, you deserve to be with someone who accepts you just the way you are.

      For anyone who is confused about my comments, click Cheeky Girl's avatar shown above. Read details about how Cassy met her girlfriend, Cathy. I really loved reading her hubs: First Encounters, Second Encounters and Third Encounters. I hope you do, too. So, grab a glass of wine or a cup of coffee and enjoy...

      :) Allie

    • Cheeky Girl profile image

      Cassandra Mantis 

      8 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

      You are right. Most of the time, dating is just that. A numbers game. Like job interviews almost. The more you do, the more you are likely to be successful. Meeting people and getting out more and going out with friends all helps. And sometimes miracles happen, and things happen when you least expect it. It happened to me last year.

      A work colleague of mine joined a sports club to meet girls, and presto, he is going out with a pretty lady now. Going outside our comfort zone can help. And changing what's on the inside as well as the outside - that can help a lot. Lots of Singles out there who are dating will enjoy this. Thanks for a great hub!

    • allie8020 profile imageAUTHOR

      Allie Mendoza 

      8 years ago from San Francisco Bay Area, California

      You're right, Madison. Having the right amount of confidence and a smile can really help you connect with people. Most people are fine just the way they are. Thanks for your comments.

    • Madison22 profile image


      8 years ago from NYC

      Thanks for a great article,good tips! Also, many people do not realize that with the right amount of confidence and a smile to go with it, you can meet people almost anywhere you go. That has been my experience and that is what my first caught my husbands attention.


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