Single is cool

I see people struggling with being single every day like there is a stigma attached to it. Some people are so desperate to add another element to their lives they don’t give any thought to the TYPE of element they are adding. They are so terrified of being alone that the amount of drama they may add doesn’t matter. Some people stay with alcoholics, drug addicts and abusive partners just so they aren’t alone.

There are so many online dating sights, free and those you pay for. People go to bars, book stores, coffee shops looking for a SIGNIFICANT other. They shop for them in the grocery store like a mate is actually on the list. They join gyms, groups and pretend to be interested in things they aren’t just to attract a mate.

I see this constant search for companionship as some sort of insanity. Not that I haven’t been part of that insanity, I have. I chose to get off the rollercoaster in favor of some peace and to get to know myself better.

I find that being single is probably one of the most rewarding times of my life. I may sound selfish here but I’m one of the most generous people I know, to a fault, most of the time.

I love having the bed all to myself. I can read, listen to my storm CD and run the fan all night. I can leave the window cracked in winter and snuggle in my quilts. I can wake up in the middle of the night and turn on the light, have a snack, read or do my homework.

When I have a day off I can work all day on a quilt, make myself a nice gourmet meal or just stay in bed all day if I feel like it. I don’t have to rush home to cook dinner for someone else or do their laundry. I don’t have to put up with someone else’s moodiness, drama or addictions. I am a free agent!

I am totally amazed when I see successful women, strong women that I know, terrified to go to a movie by their self let alone to a nice restaurant to have a meal. I LOVE to do these things alone! I can go to ANY movie I want to see, chick flick or not. I can sit in the middle of the theatre with my popcorn and diet soda and snuggle down into my seat and get cozy. I don’t have to have an entire week of debate on which movie to go to or which new restaurant to try. I don’t have to ask someone what he wants to do and hear “Uh I don’t know”. I KNOW what I want to do and I go do it!

I live in Idaho and there are so many wonderful things to do here alone or with friends. I love to fly fish, alone. I find it is much easier to pack a lunch and some water and take off with my fly rod and my dog and just go. We can hike upstream all day, go skinny dipping in nice deep hole to cool off and eat our lunch on a sunny rock. There aren’t a lot of guys who fly fish any more. I’ve been doing it since I was four years old. I’m absolutely not a helpless wilting flower and I know how to survive in the wilderness. I just can’t give up the things I love to sit at home and do the things I don’t love to make someone else happy.

I know that God has a mate already chosen for me and I am willing and patient to wait for him. A man with integrity, spirit and self confidence enough to let me be the person I can be and not try to change me to meet his own needs, we have a match.

Please, if you are reading this, don’t grab the next person you find available and interested. Don’t start a relationship just to be in a relationship.

Speaking from experience, there are so many damaged people out there looking to connect with ANYBODY just to have somebody. Please don’t put yourself into a possible abusive relationship or rush into anything before you meet that person’s friends and family, see how that person operates in different situations. Find out if you even LIKE someone before you decide you LOVE them and want to move in with them or get married. Don’t put yourself financially in debt or dependent on someone else, especially if you have small children or even teenagers or adult children until you REALLY know someone. There are even pedophiles out there preying on women with small children. WATCH OUT!

There is no such thing as love at first sight. You cannot LOVE what you don’t KNOW. A person who doesn’t know you cannot love you and have your best interests at heart because he or she doesn’t know yet what your best interests are. Make a list of what you want or need in a mate or partner. Do not deviate from these needs and desires. There is the right person out there for you and until then PLEASE enjoy being single do not be afraid of it or in a rush to be connected. You are a wonderful complex person with a soul and a brain with needs other than being a part of something that isn’t all that and a bag of chips. Hold out for the bag of chips!