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Forever Sisters

Updated on February 14, 2019
elayne001 profile image

Ruth, a.k.a. Elayne Kongaika, was raised in the orchard town of Orem, Utah. She married a Polynesian and has had amazing travel experiences.

Sisters - I am holding the baby (belongs to my sister's son).
Sisters - I am holding the baby (belongs to my sister's son).

I have two sisters. I am the oldest and my sister next to me is ten years younger than I am. Then another six years passed before my youngest sister was born, when I was sixteen. My two sisters are very dear to me, although we haven't got very much in common, except for our parents and one brother. Oh, and we are all short (myself being the shortest). Both of my sisters have beautiful voices - somehow I missed out on that particular talent.

Sisters are different flowers from the same garden. Unknown

I smile because you are my sister, I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it! Unknown

Sweet is the voice of a sister in the season of sorrow. Benjamin Disraeli

I am sad when I hear that sisters do not get along. Our sister relationship is friendly, but we never were close enough to argue. I do remember helping to take care of my sister, whose crib was in my bedroom for some time.

The distance between us sisters began when I became a teenager, and boys seemed to be the most important thing in my life (big waste of time!). I regret not getting closer to my little sisters and helping them more.

One sister married a great hard working man who loves farming. They raise cows, goats, horses, and live in a farming community. I really admire my sister who, besides raising four handsome sons, has adopted three beautiful girls. She and her husband began as foster parents, and fell in love with these young girls who had been abused and/or neglected. They have sacrificed much to care for these young girls.

My youngest sister married a very intelligent and talented tall man. Their three sons tower over the rest of us short people, but that is okay. I got married while my youngest sister was a small girl. She played with my children when my children were young. Of the three sisters, I think my youngest sister looks most like our mother. When our mother passed away, my youngest sister was so sad and looked to me as a mother figure, but I feel I have let her down.

I married a Polynesian man, and we have moved so many times since we were married. For the majority of those years, we lived in the South Pacific. It was hard at times being so far away from my family, and even though I tried to stay in touch by writing and visiting as often as we could, we did draw apart.

DeCastro Sisters
DeCastro Sisters
McQuire Sisters
McQuire Sisters
Andrew Sisters
Andrew Sisters

My sisters have been very supportive of my life events. They even spent many hard-earned pennies to come and see us in the South Pacific. They came to the weddings of my children. When I am home, I go see them. I am ashamed to say that I have not been to most of their children's weddings. I guess you would call me the slacker sister.

Sometimes when I call my Dad on the weekends, he tells me that all the kids came to visit, and I feel guilty and sad that I am not there too. It is a Sunday evening tradition to go and see my Dad. Since my family has been far away most of the years, we can't be there, but at least we can call. Since my mother passed away, I have had my father come and stay with us in Hawaii a couple of times, but it does not make up for all the other times I wasn't there. I hope someday to make up for lost times together.

One of my sisters has chosen not to embrace the new technology. She still feels uncomfortable with computers and email. She still remembers my birthdays and Christmas through snail mail. My youngest sister is on facebook, and we usually correspond weekly. Even then, I feel there is somewhat of a gap because of our age difference.

Seems when we all get together there is not much to say. I guess we have all been focusing on our own little families and problems. Sometimes it is awkward. But, I still love my sisters unconditionally, and always will. I hope I can find a way to get closer to them. Maybe one day we can all just blow caution to the wind and take off together and get to know one another.

We may not be famous sisters like those on the right, but one thing for sure, we will always have each other, for good or bad. At least I know my sisters will be there for my funeral. If this is a sad hub, it is because I feel sad when I think of my sisters and how I have let them down.

I welcome suggestions of how I can get closer to my sisters.

More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good.

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life. (sounds like me)

A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost .

Friends come and go, but Sisters are FOREVER!

© 2011 Elayne


Submit a Comment
  • elayne001 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    I so appreciate your comments talitz2550. I am so glad you have developed a loving sister relationship. I look forward to reading about her. So glad you stopped by to read my hub. Best wishes for continued success and happiness.

  • talitz2550 profile image


    7 years ago from Thailand

    Hello Elayne... it has been quite sometime that I had dropped by Hubpages... but when I saw your article "Forever Sisters " (altho I'm pretty sure I have missed a lot of your recent ones as my mailbox is so stacked I was drawn to this one. In fact I am the only girl in the family, but I can very much relate to a sisterhood relationship, as I have a very loving adoptive sister. Yes, I asked her to stay in the house after she graduated highschool...10 yrs younger than me. And it is through her that I enjoyed how it is to be with a sister...I can call it a perfect relationship. She's my sister, daughter and best friend all in one. Now altho we're living miles of ocean apart (she's now married to an Australian), we're still connected. You just gave me the idea... I must write a hub about her...

    ...Owww!!! going back... I enjoyed every part of your hub, at points I am moved, at points I would smile...It's so full of love and emotion. Well done!

    I believe you have never turned your sisters down, as the mere thought of keeping them in your heart, and the warmth and love is there...that's far the greatest of all. Constraints just make things impossible sometimes but the love remains. Have a great weekend! Hugs and Kisses!


  • elayne001 profile imageAUTHOR


    8 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Thanks Sharyn's Slant. I appreciate your concern and comments.

  • Sharyn's Slant profile image

    Sharon Smith 

    8 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

    Hi Elayne,

    I must say I enjoyed this hub and the similarities that come to mind. I am the oldest of three girls. One sis is a year younger and the other is 4 years younger. We all live within 5 miles of each other. Even the 4 year difference left my lil sis and I distant for a long time. Don't be too hard on yourself. Obviously, you love your sisters and are thinking about them. I hope they know that. Take care,


  • elayne001 profile imageAUTHOR


    8 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    I appreciate your kind words Hello, hello. The world has enough negativity, so we should focus on loving one another.

  • Hello, hello, profile image

    Hello, hello, 

    8 years ago from London, UK

    Thank you for your lovely written hub. These days it is so nice to read sisters getting a long so well.

  • elayne001 profile imageAUTHOR


    8 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    You are right b. Malin. I appreciate all who have commented. Sometimes we treat friends better than family, and that is sad. We do often have unreasonable expectations of our family members.

  • b. Malin profile image

    b. Malin 

    8 years ago

    You've gotten such good Advise Elayne from all the Hubbers...What can I add...I have a sister who is older by two and half years. We are very different, and I always try to respect that and treat her as I would treat my friends. Sometimes we just expect too much from family and so we are disappointed.

    It sounds like you are doing the best you can so don't be so hard on yourself. LOL.

  • elayne001 profile imageAUTHOR


    8 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    I like what you had to say Erin. Especially that "the phone goes both ways". Sometimes I feel that calling is totally my responsibility in regards to my sisters, my dad, my brother and even my own kids. That is quite a burden at times. I'll have to share that thought with them all. I appreciate you sharing your experiences. Aloha and best wishes.

  • Erin LeFey profile image

    Erin LeFey 

    8 years ago from Maryland

    Wow, elayne001 the similarities between our families is amazing. I am the middle sister. My older sister is 8 years older and my little sister is ten years younger. I have a brother two years younger. The age gap has always made it hard for us to truly be as close as adults, although I have had an advantage being in the middle. My older sister too, took off to Germany when my little sister was only beginning school and that was really hard on her, their relationship has always been strained. With an eighteen year age gap, there are so many things between them. I think I was under an illusion that our relationship was better than it is, it seems as we are adults now, (33,43, & 50) things are more complicated than ever with all of us living in three different parts of the country. I am living near my parents though. At times, well mostly, it seems my older sister doesn't really want to be part of the family at all, I'm closer to my little sister. My brother is on another coast as well and does his own thing. We all keep in touch via facebook at least twice a week even if its just to comment on each other's status. My parents are on facebook too.

    I found your hub to be very open and honest. Like me, you really would like to know your sisters as friends too, but sometimes their lives are so full, they don't have the time to go back to repair relationships. I'm coming to terms with that myself and just accepting them for who they are. I'm happy with the relationships as they are now...if this is all I'm going to get, at least I know there is love in whatever form - they give what they can. But I am going to do all I can to maintain the close relationship I have with my little sister because it means the world to me.

    My dad always says - "the phone goes both ways" - meaning the responsibility for the relationship doesn't rest solely on your shoulders, it takes some effort on their part too. Like a marriage, one person can't make it work, its a partnership. I wish you the best and may you find the family ties you have always wanted.

  • elayne001 profile imageAUTHOR


    8 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Thanks Willstar for your great videos. You are lucky your sisters spoiled you. We sisters have an older brother, and he has always watched out for us and has done a lot for all of us throughout the years. He is very quiet though, but he is a great brother.

  • elayne001 profile imageAUTHOR


    8 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    I so appreciate your heartfelt words Nellieanna, and am so sorry for your many losses. I too believe we should nurture and care for our family members. It has just been difficult at such a distance. I wish I could have always been there at the important times, but maybe even if I had been, things might have not been so easy. I was never that close to my own mother, and feel sad about that since she has passed away. I'm not sure she will be happy to meet me when I die and see her in heaven, but hopefully we will all have improved by then. I look forward to getting closer to my sisters. teary eyed... God bless!

  • Nellieanna profile image

    Nellieanna Hay 

    8 years ago from TEXAS

    In my family, I'm the youngest by many years. Our parents started their family later than most and my eldest sister was 14, the next was 12 and our brother was 10 when I was born. Our parents were in their 40s. When I came along, my siblings' lives were toward growing up and finding their own ways and I was just the cute little baby sister with the ringlets. None of them ever really recognized me as a full-fledged person and I was alone more than not, though I was always eager to try to please them and 'measure up'.

    My eldest sister decided to take charge of me when I was half-way through college when she had decided I wasn't learning the things that were important to her at the small religious college I attended. None of my interests and opinions were considered and my parents, who were then almost in their 60s, listened to her and allowed her to take charge and allowed my transfer to the most prestigious college in her city in which she had some influence because of her social position there. I was to be groomed to take my place among them.

    It wasn't a bad experience, certainly, I just had no real choices. But I was used to ferreting out my own ways quietly and I did as she directed. When time came that I graduated, thinking that would be my ticket into taking over my own life, I found that was still not her plan. She had set my life up then, too. So I defied her and simply escaped to seek my own way in another city. She didn't forgive me. And within 6 months she and her entire family had been killed in a terrible car/train crash in which I'd have been a part, had I remained there in her control. It was a tragedy in multiple ways, as you can imagine. She was only 35. It was 58 years ago and still haunts me at times, especially when reminders arise. Yet I know it was destiny and I know they were good people, though things didn't work out well between us. There was and is love there.

    I was close to my other sister after many years when our lives became in closer proximity, but after some serious betrayal of trust, it became strained, and still is, though she's now 91 and suffers developing dementia. Our brother perished in a car accident in 1990. Our parents have been gone many many years.

    It is so precious to have family and siblings and so important to care for those relationships. But no one can truly know the intricacies and factors which sometime shape - or misshape - them. In your case, you were physically far away, in addition to being almost another generation. But you should not regret too much. Your heart is pure and perhaps you and your sisters can go on a cruise together or something to allow you to get to know each other truly. That is what they surely miss most - not really being known. And you really want to!!

    I, too, lived far from my family for many years during my first marriage, which was after the death of my eldest sister, and partially a tragic result of it. It was not a good marriage, almost like a "rebound".

    Things happen strangely sometimes & we must be as generous with compassion for ourselves as for others when things go awry. Being a good person for those around us who can accept our caring is important, too. A good spirit can't be quenched.

  • WillStarr profile image


    8 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

    Here are a few more videos you might like for your Hub:

    And I have three sisters!

    As the only son, I was terribly spoiled! ;-)

  • elayne001 profile imageAUTHOR


    8 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Thanks for all the encouraging comments, hubber friends. Relationships are tricky at a distance. I appreciate all the advice and will definitely try harder.

  • Angie Jardine profile image

    Angie Jardine 

    8 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ...

    This is a really profound hub, elaine! I don't have a sister, only a younger brother and we are rubbish at keeping in touch with one another ... until there is a family crisis, like Mum dying. We don't communicate for years otherwise ..

    But you know what? When we are together it is just as if we have never been apart! He is still the little kid I wrestled with and tried to get away from, we still have the same sense of humour and the same disregard for wealth ... and I love him to bits.

    Perhaps it's different for sisters ... but I'm willing to bet it's not. You wait until the chips are really down ... then you'll all stand shoulder to shoulder. Bet ya!

  • i scribble profile image

    i scribble 

    8 years ago

    This is touching and yes, a bit sad. I have 3 sisters (no brothers). Unlike your family, we were all close in age--less than 6 years from oldest to youngest. But that is no guarantee of closeness. There can be a lot of old baggage between sisters. It can be hard to get past it. And I am no expert at this. I like Coconut's advice. I think taking an interest in your siblings' children and grandchildren is a good strategy also. Of course, stay positive, accepting and supportive.

  • LianaK profile image


    8 years ago

    Sorry, no suggestions here. I only have brothers. However, I think you may be a little hard on yourself. Love ya mom.

  • Lisa HW profile image

    Lisa HW 

    8 years ago from Massachusetts

    The relationship between sisters can be as unique as each sister sometimes. Other times, there are things most sisters share in common when it comes to the relationship. (I have one sister.) Maybe it's easier to say closer with one than with more than one. (I enjoyed your Hub, but I wouldn't mind knowing what the deal is with those head-pieces (that look like bridal veils sort of)on the Lennon Sisters are in that "Kind of Hush" video. lol )

  • elayne001 profile imageAUTHOR


    8 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Thank The Busy Coconut. Snail mail it is. I do try to send cards and Christmas gifts, otherwise, I wouldn't have much contact with one sister. Phone calls are always short and a bit awkward. Thanks for your comments.

  • profile image

    The Busy Coconut 

    8 years ago

    It is hard to stay connected when you're separated by years and distance. With my sister in NZ, it is hard to stay connected with her. My suggestion would be to stay in constant contact, even if it is by snail mail. You'd be surprised the connection you can make. I've done that with people I was never close to. When I meet up with them, it's almost like we've been friends forever.


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