- Gender and Relationships
Social traits that are likely to turn you into a liar
Not many people can honestly confess to having lived a life without lies. We tell lies often. This we do either consciously or unconsciously. There are people who will give tiny small lies on one end, while others make an unwelcome reputation of being pathological liars among family, friends, peers and foes alike. Such fellows are likely to even lie to strangers. Someone might inquire “Why do we lie when we hate being lied to?” Is it possible to live without telling big, medium or tiny lies?
To some people, lying is so entrenched into their lives that they cannot do without it. Therefore, lying has become part of social life where many dive into for survival, escape from guilt or consequences of reality. People will defend their lying habits in order to survive or escape being caught.
When are we most likely to lie?
Boredom in our lives
People who easily get bored will often lie in order to add a bite, sting or just excitement to the boredom in their lives.
Many callers tend to lie while talking on the phone
Involvement in anti-social behavior
Individuals fighting with addictive habits are more prone to lying compared to those without such habits. The lying is triggered by their dependence upon drugs, alcohol etc and the nagging urge to satisfy these urges. They conceal excuses behind plausible logical reasons to avoid detection and loss of self-esteem.
People will cheat their colleagues just to appear macho before their pals in order to ward off the rejection that comes with the knowledge that you are different from other people. There are those who will simply cheat because their friends or age mates cheat too. This is common among teens.
Close contact with the opposite gender
When people find themselves in relationships where they are uncomfortably close to those of the opposite gender, they are likely to get involved or intimately attached to such acquaintances even if they happen to be in a steady relationship. This is likely to lead to lying in order to cover up the new relationship.
Effects of low self esteem
Individual who suffer from low self-esteem are more prone to react positively to flattery which boosts their ego. A repeat of such flattery is welcome in future especially if it comes from the same individual, who is thereafter likely to take advantage of the person suffering from low esteem. Such individuals never reveal such experiences to their spouses or intimate friends.
Individuals with egotistical tendencies will always respond positively to those who strive to feed their egos. Little do they know how vulnerable they are to manipulation by those who have personal intents towards them. Affection gradually develops between the two individuals who thereafter try to conceal their interactions to those close to them.
People who love receiving things or presents are much more likely to respond to seduction when confronted with lovely gifts. Most corrupt behavior hails from materialistic tendencies among men and women. We often cherish the notion that “If they take my gift, they too belong to me”, to good measure. If your husband, wife, boy or girlfriend loves presents so much, I can snatch them from you using very expensive gifts. Materials often attract a man to a woman and vice versa.
There are people who desperately need to be recognized in the crowd. Such individuals are easy to manipulate using their weakness as leverage. The minute you give back the attention they need, you can as well take them to the moon and back.
Individuals who have cheated successfully in the past are more likely to deceive again, especially if they got away with it. They argue “If I did it last time why not now”. Cheating gradually becomes norm them. Awe parents if their children slither into such tendencies while still young. Such kids guarantee their parents a permanent headache.
Devious use of mobile phones
I used to think people were honest until mobile phones came by. I sit next to a man or woman talking into their phone, only to hear them say “Please wait, wait, wait coz I’m just one second away from your hotel” My shock comes on noting the vehicle in which we are travelling is more than six kilometers away from the stated destination. No car moves six kilometers per second on the road. I’ve seen movie actors crumple papers near their phones, constantly shouting the caller’s name while pretending they are losing contact and rudely log off. Oh, how I hate such polite social lies.
Mature men and women have been caught lying openly and are totally unwilling to acknowledge their being victims to this habit. There is need to carefully examine ourselves, spouses, children and friends for known tendencies to overcome temptations and eventual consequences that come with the traits described above which include boredom in our lives, anti-social habits, peer pressure, close contact with the opposite gender, low self-esteem, egotistical inclinations, materialism, attention seeking, repeated behavior and devious social use of mobile phones.
Lying leaves us with guilt and worse still, a seared conscience that makes us unable to distinguish between good or bad.