Spinsterville Pays Homage To Ferrets
Awww… to be a spinster –unwed with no desire… What’s the premise, what’s the point? Cats have nine lives and will inevitably live longer than she does. She can live with their hairs everywhere –from the couch to the bed. Who cares if they hack up hairballs, and that the kitty litter stinks, or that they have a thing for seafood, -the exquisite, yet expensive kind, served in the finest crystal. It’s okay that their toys in the middle of the floor nearly tripped you and sent you into the emergency room the other night, or that your friends won’t visit, because the dander in your house is more than their allergies can handle. They are literally your creature comforts. They hiss when they are mad, maybe even scratch a little, and bite when absolutely aggravated, but for the most part, their soft purrs and quiet mews make it all forgivable. Besides, they are cute, furry, soft, and keep the bed warm at night, something or someone to curl up next to, even if you wake up with flea bites the next morning… Spinster… the cat loving –lonely as ever, but will plead that they are indeed content, bachelorette (by my definition).
Please, someone tell me how having cats differs from having a man? If not hairballs, they’re hacking up loogies. Still exquisite, expensive appetites (lobster and shrimp). Still hair around the sink from shaving. If not toys in the middle of the floor –clothes, usually dirty. Kitty litter stench? Try dirty laundry for a month stench. Still, friends won’t come over due to allergies… 9 times out of 10, if you found the right man, your friends will hate and act allergic to your perfect mate, because when you’ve found him ladies –that means your girlfriends lost their club buddy and shopping partner, and late night talk telephone friend… (talk about creature comforts)… what is the difference… just another something or someone to take care of, the only difference is –how will your kitty take care of you? When your cat can give you a foot massage, run a hot bubble bath and feed you strawberries dipped in whipped cream, I might hit up the animal shelter… until then, I have to avoid Spinsterville at all costs…
I came across an interesting fact, yet useless knowledge, the other day, which inspired this article; one of the many lessons we can take away from nature. We now live in a world that has made all kinds of breakthroughs –via science. Take Octo-Mom for example. We need not perform any lustful or arduous acts with a man to produce off-spring; we can simply march down to the nearest fertility clinic and have the doctor work his magic –if indeed it is that.
Who needs a man anyway –if we need Mr. Fix-it, we can call pest control, a plumber, an engineer, a gardener, a locksmith, a police officer, and the like. And guess what? These are occupations, though dominated by the male persuasion, still employ women. Thus, Mr. Fix-it, can be replaced by Ms. Fix-it.
All this, to say, we live in a society where we are and can be independent of men. If we even needed a fix, (sexually), toys and vibrant life-like models are available and affordable; a date with no strings attached –escort service.
Really? Seriously? –For those who are skeptics, sure –nothing can replace a man’s aura, his intellect, kindness, strength, affection, and all that he brings to the table –regardless if we need them or not. Society needs men –whether we look to them as protectors, to fight our wars, to be fathers and role models to our children –their children –there’s no mistaking that rationale. We were created for each other, and need each other to reproduce –the purpose or main premise of all creation, even a higher purpose to and for one another which we give homage to –such as love…
So to make my final case and point, the useless knowledge I stumbled upon, that we all can derive some truth and deeper meaning from pertaining to all this, -Spinsters included, has to do with the female ferret. If this isn’t the ultimate testimony of love and creation, I don’t know what is… And perhaps we should be thanking the creator of our species that it isn’t our fate –as women, but in the event the female ferret goes into heat, and is unable to find a mate, she will die… This is philosophical and poetic in the sense, we take for granite this whole ideology, non-pertinent to us, because we need look no further than our nearest sperm bank –but without men, there’d be no sperm banks and deeper than that, we too would cease to exist if we did not procreate one way or another… So before you head to Spinsterville, remember the female species of ferrets, and give love another try; cats and men, have more in common than you’d think…
•Hand wash and flat dry
•Your ferret or small animal is sure to be a hit in this sweatshirt
•Wrapped in soft long-haired plush fabric
•Natural sisal wrapped scratching posts
•Hammock with metal rim for added support
•Dangling pom pom toy
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