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Stalking or Harmless

Updated on November 21, 2010

Can Harmless Flirting turn Dangerous?

Harmless flirting is what people from all aspects of life encounter daily, but what happens when that harmless flirting becomes dangerous? There are certain warning signs to look for to prevent a situation from getting out of hand but many people never think that an innocent comment can turn into a dangerous situation in the future.

It Can Happen to Anyone, Be Smart Know when Enough is Enough

Have you Ever found yourself in a similar situation?

Have you ever been at work and received a comment from a boss or coworker that you felt was completely harmless and actually made you feel good? When the comments kept coming did it make you feel uncomfortable or did you still appreciate them? Maybe your boss or coworker thought that if you let them go that far, you’d probably let them go farther because by now the comments were probably becoming more sexual and playful. Now in the back of your mind you’re feeling uncomfortable but you don’t acknowledge that feeling because they’ve never laid a hand on you inappropriately. Is it now sexual harassment because you’ve grown tired of the playful flirting back n forth but has no idea how to put an end to it?  Have you found yourself in a situation where the flirting turned to a more serious offense such as stalking? I know someone who has and this is her story.

A Stalking In Chicago

 

Laurel Jones was a very attractive 24 year old young woman who was trying to make a better life for her and her two year old son by taking on a part time job as a secretary at a major Chicago law firm. Laurel was very smart but not very educated and this was the best job she’d gotten since moving to Chicago. Personally, I don’t think Laurel had any real skills to become a secretary at the law firm so I’m thinking that’s not why she was hired. Her boss turns out had been through at least five well educated young women who worked as secretaries for him in the past but for some strange reason they had all quit or been fired. Laurel was making big money plus bonuses, she loved her job, and she thought she had the best boss in the world because he’d taken a chance on her.

Laurels boss let’s just call him Thomas really had a way of making her feel special because Laurel had a rough life with very low self-esteem. Thomas told her she was special, she was a big help to him and the company, he even told her she was attractive as well as smart and often suggested she go back to school to further her education. There was even one time when Thomas bought her two year old son tickets for him and three friends to the Circus that had come to town. To make a very long story short, Laurel welcomed everything her boss did for her and her son but what she didn’t welcome was what happened later on into her job. One day Laurel showed up late for work because she couldn’t find a babysitter, Thomas seemed kind of angry that she didn’t phone in to let him know she’d be late so he said some pretty awkward things to her but later Laurel initiated the flirting just to get rid of some of the tension between them.

Making a Bad Situation Worse

 

Because Thomas had always initiated the flirting and it seemed as if Laurel had somewhat started returning the favor, he automatically figured that he could do several other things like what he did in the office the next day. Laurel was bending over to pick up some papers she’d dropped on the floor; Thomas came up behind her and touched her backside inappropriately. This angered Laurel and at the moment she didn’t know whether to speak her mind or just pretend it didn’t happen. It seemed easier to pretend it didn’t happen because she really needed her job and felt she’d surely be fired if she had spoken up but that was her first mistake because the things that followed were more touching, then Thomas showing up at other places Laurel frequented after work. Laurel didn’t know how to put a stop to things, she didn’t know who to talk to about Thomas, and she became frustrated and depressed whenever she did have to go to work.

What Can be done now?

 

With the few friends she talked to about her bosses advances, she received advice that she should file a sexual harassment suit against him and the company, or at least file a police report. Think about it, a young really un educated African American girl making more money than she had ever in her life, plus some would say she dressed inappropriately, others would even go so far as to give her a bad reputation because she’d been with lots of men in the past, nobody would really take her accusations seriously thinking she was out to cash in. It became a daily struggle for Laurel but soon she couldn’t take it anymore, or smile n pretend things were okay in front of others at the office so she quit the job she once loved so much, but even that didn’t stop the stalking. Thomas started calling Laurels phone, making threats, the stalking continued but got much worse. Laurel ended up having to relocate to get away from Thomas but at least she’d get away for now with her and her sons life but nothing ever happened to Thomas for all the things he put this young woman through. It seems Thomas is back up to the same thing with another young woman at his office, this young woman seems to like the attention and might even be having an affair with Thomas, but what’s going to become of her when she rejects him?

 

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    • carolinemd21 profile image

      Caroline Marie 

      6 years ago

      I think men in power situations think they can treat women however they want which is unfair. I was also sexually harassed by my boss. He asked me out and flirted almost expecting me to be happy with it. When I wouldn't sleep with him, he became angry and would insult my talent and me being smart. It got so uncomfortable at work that I couldn't stand it. I left. I regret not filing a sexual harassment lawsuit, but didn't want to go through all of the trouble. Karma got him though I found out and his company ran out of money. I think women need to stand up against these predators. Check out my site at Chicago Romance Examiner-Caroline Marie-IS your boss hitting on you?

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