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Starting from Scratch - After Divorce Help for Men

Updated on May 18, 2012

Divorce is a tremendous blow for both sides. It’s a long and often excruciating process of undoing ties and moving on; not only will you be out of your element but it’ll be burden that only you alone can overcome in the end no matter how much support you get.

Perhaps a myth that we need to get out of the way is the misconception that men get over divorce faster than women. this myth of course, comes from the stereotypical aspect of men in which they are viewed as emotionally strong and resilient – but sadly, that is just a façade. Why is this view flawed you ask? Here’s why:

1. The rebound phase isn’t proof that you’re over a bad break up with your wife.

It’s just a phase where you try to restore something lacking within yourself. You try to fill that void with something – anything that can extinguish your loss; may it be womanizing or downing more beers that you’re usual. It may seem fun in the short term, but it’ll bound to damage you later on when you’ll be forced to move on.

2.Divorced men will enter a very awkward transition in their life.

from married to their return to single life, the process is often jarring and can cut down on their self-esteem since they not only have to deal with their personal demons but also the haunting fact that they have to start over from scratch.

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To be pertinent, these two things aren’t the main focus of this topic but it just serves to illustrate how incorrect the stereotype of the male psyche really is. The main focus here is to help you start over after your divorce.

A new start means that you have to break the ties that bind you to your past behind and live your life one step at a time. Everyone understands how scary the thought of going through once familiar but now strange territory.

Like the first few times I’ve mentioned, everything you feel now is grief. This is a horrible yet understandable cycle of pain and suffering that all men who’ve ever been through a divorce endure. The loss is crippling and the headaches that go along with the court procedures can only make it worse.

When moving on from divorce, you also need to prepare yourself for two things: forgiveness and acceptance. Dwelling on the hatred you have now can mess with your life later; the more you encourage the thought the harder it would be to wipe it from your memory. Acceptance is also a suitable attribute to have. Fault maybe tossed around even after divorce and it maybe beyond repair but that does not mean you give up – you merely accept the inevitable and enter a new phase in your life.

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