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Updated on January 3, 2012

Steadfastness and Marriage

To be steadfast means to be immovable. Steadfastness implies a commitment to be loyal in the face of adversity.

Marriage is a sacred pledge to be steadfast. When we say the words, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part, we are making a vow to be steadfast no matter what comes.

Why then do so many marriages break down?


Becoming whole again

What if every relationship we have is nothing more than a reflection of the relationship we have with our selves?

What if we are made up of many aspects and each aspect seeks expression in our daily lives. What if we like only certain aspects and ignore the aspects we do not like?

What if we are not being allowed to ignore those aspects we ignore or suppress? What if the people in our lives are reflections of the aspects we like and dislike about ourselves?

What if it is all an elaborate construct of the mind enabling us to communicate on some level with those aspects of ourselves that we either deny or over rely upon in order to become whole again?

What if it is all about mending the pieces of our broken hearts?


A Japanese TV News crew discovered two dogs among the wreckage after the tsunami had hit.

One of the dogs would not leave his friend's side. The video clip does not need words to convey its powerful message.

The Nature of Nature

I can never understand why a cruel person is described as an animal when I have never seen an animal inflict cruelty on another.

Nature is telling us that we are not above its laws but must rediscover qualities that we share with all of nature.

Self discipline is required to steadfastly seek our human values and cultivate higher qualities in ourselves. When we realise that the people we admire and abhor outside of ourselves are all reflections of ourselves and exist within us, then we are ready to take full responsibility for our lives and can no longer play the role of victim.

Loyalty is a choice and steadfastness means through thick and thin.

Last Cold Kiss

Here are the words and chords of an old favourite of mine by Christy Moore called "One Last Cold Kiss".

The song tells the story of loyalty and steadfastness between two swans and never fails to move me. I have also added the video from YouTube so you can hear this beautiful song and allow its message to reach your heart and realise how little time we have to appreciate each other.

Two[Am] island swans, mated for [G]life,

And[Am] his faithful heart would not con[G]sider any other[Am] wife.

For three years peaceful joy midst the rushes of the [G]pond,

[Am]Proud and gentle was the loving of the[G] last two island [Am]swans.

Their love was like a circle, no beginning and no end,

With his lady by his side a treasure and best friend.

The pond was all so peaceful in the rising of the sun,

Young and free at the island breeze their life had just begun.

'Til a dread day in November when the searing cold did start,

Stalked the hunter with his bow and put an arrow through her heart.

Husband come to my side let your feathers warm my pain,

For I feel I will not spend another day with you again.

And the [C]cold [G]winds [Am]blow,

He was [C]brave but [G]he's laid [Em]low.

By her [C]body in the [G]isle of [Em]mist,

I [C]saw [D]him [E]give her one last [G]cold [A]kiss, one [C]last[D] cold[Am] kiss.

Of swans the people talk of only one in this days tide,

Though they brought him twenty ladies he would take no other bride.

They say he will not move from the place where she did fall,

Once so proud he's beaten now and he will not rise at all.

One Last Cold Kiss

Link to Trust on the Internet

I have written a separate hub called "Trust on The Internet" in which I write about communication and how we use other people as backdrops upon which we project ourselves. I explain how all our communication is ultimately with different aspects of ourselves and that is why we are prone to make up what we believe a person is saying or feeling in their communication with us. If you liked this hub then you may that hub of interest too.


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    • the-men-diet profile image


      6 years ago from USA

      Great Hub, well written! Reminds me of how passionate some animals are about their mates, such as Ducks who mate for life. When their mate passes away or gets run over the living mate just wonders around looking for the other. So devoted, so emotional, and so beautiful. I wish human love were as simple and as understood as that. Thank you for the great Hub.


    • Spirit Whisperer profile imageAUTHOR

      Xavier Nathan 

      7 years ago from Isle of Man

      Thank you for reading and commenting Eiddwen.

    • Eiddwen profile image


      7 years ago from Wales

      Interesting hub and thanks for sharing.

      Take care


    • Spirit Whisperer profile imageAUTHOR

      Xavier Nathan 

      7 years ago from Isle of Man

      Thank you Ashantina and yes you are right about that. Glad you liked it.

    • Ashantina profile image


      7 years ago

      What a moving video.

      It takes two committed beings and a few key ingredients to reach that place of mutual steadfastedness.....

    • Spirit Whisperer profile imageAUTHOR

      Xavier Nathan 

      7 years ago from Isle of Man

      Thank you jeremytorres.

    • jeremytorres profile image


      7 years ago

      Great hub. I'm glade to know this.

    • Spirit Whisperer profile imageAUTHOR

      Xavier Nathan 

      7 years ago from Isle of Man

      Thank you for your heartfelt comment. I am so glad that you have gotten something from what I have written here and I am very grateful for your loyal support.

    • CMCastro profile image

      Christina M. Castro 

      7 years ago from Baltimore,MD USA

      What an incredible hub you have written, and what I need to read right now. It is as if you knew what I needed to read. And I thank you. You are a loyal true friend, Spirit Whisperer, who is sensitive to others and if we were like those two pups in a storm, we would not be ever lonely. It is great to know you are there, supporting those you care for. I always strive to do the same thing. Thanks for your steadfastness, Spirit Whisperer. CM PS. Great song too!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 

      7 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      I was referring to your comment when you explained that in my mind you are real! I guess I am thinking out loud again. It has to do with talking as if you exist, ect., I did not say I think it's real - I think people invent the real parts in their own minds. Well, I do also. Of course. Now the bad part is that sometimes it isn't REAL - even if we convince ourselves it is. I could be anyone. You could be a smart 12 year old, I do have faith that is not the case!

      Your question: it makes us individuals who are controlled by a figment of our imagination, n'est pas?

    • Spirit Whisperer profile imageAUTHOR

      Xavier Nathan 

      7 years ago from Isle of Man

      What REAL part? What part is REAL?

      If you love your mother and someone threatened to attack her or someone wanted to hurt her what would you do? Some people have created such a figure in their minds that they imagine they love so much that they would kill for this imaginery figure.

      Why did young American men willingly travel to Vietnam, Korea, Afghanistan, and Iraq to die?

      The God people imagine are not just religious Gods.

      I have a question for you... If God is described as the creator and we create everything in our minds what does that make us?

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 

      7 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      I'm not sure how we invent the REAL part - is it the brain filling in the blanks?

      I have a question for you - I've been thinking about this. Ok so is that why people so easily believe in God? I mean - everyone thinks they know him too. But I doubt he has ever communicated even in an email! Yet people will die for that faith in the belief that he is Real.

      That's all the further I've gotten - I am kind of stuck on that thought! Weird!

      Ahhh! Excellent point about intent to be cruel. You are so right! I've never seen an animal be a bully:) lol!

    • Spirit Whisperer profile imageAUTHOR

      Xavier Nathan 

      7 years ago from Isle of Man

      Thank you RH and I love your questions.

      When you read my hub your mind is at work. You have created an image of me and in your mind I am real. You talk to me as if I exist in your world. How do you do that? I was teaching a small group of children this morning and one of the boys (about 12 years old) looked very upset. he is normally full of smiles and we have great fun. I asked him how his weekend was and he said not good and put his head on the desk. The others didn't know what was wrong with him or they would have told me. Eventually he says his girlfriend in America had dumped him and there were tears in his eyes.

      It transpires he had fallen in love with a beautiful American girl on the internet and she called it a day.

      I asked him how could he tell for certain that she was not a 60 year old man on the other end and the profile picture was just a front.

      He had never considered this and after a while he loosened up. We had a great lesson and as usual at the end of the lesson I always ask each student what each had learned. He answered that he had learned how to say goodbye to a beautiful 60 year old man on the internet and he left laughing.

      With regards to the animals I feel that many people may wear nice clothes and have houses and cars and money but they may not be civilised. But animals behave better than some humans because it is not instinct to be cruel. It is instinct to survive but not to gain satisfaction of pleasure from inflicting pain on another especially if you are not going to eat them! HaHa.

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 

      7 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      SW - another hub full of info to the listener. Very thought provoking - I love the video too! I have always been very curious about what is meant by seeing our reflections in others. That is so subconscious. I have a better grasp on projection - but I don't think it's the same is it?

      I think people refer to others as "animals" when they wish to distance themselves from the fact that they are animalistic too. Animals are not civilized and act most always on instinct - I think people want to belueve they are a higher classified beast:)

    • Spirit Whisperer profile imageAUTHOR

      Xavier Nathan 

      7 years ago from Isle of Man

      Thank you for visiting and commenting. Yes, indeed an ant could teach us, if we took the time to learn.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Beautiful story of the swan and great guitar work. I sometimes think man must be an abberation of evolution; an experiment that went wrong. Or maybe we are children of a cruel god. I have often wondered why people with character deficiencies are likened to animals, too. An ant could teach us how to behave. Bob


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