How and Why to Stop Caring What People Think About You
We all have a Self-Image
Self-image is a person's overall sense of self-worth or personal value. Your self-image is the mental picture that comes to your mind of details about yourself from how you see yourself and from how you think other people see you. What you believe people think about you comes from a variety of beliefs about one's self, such as how one views their own appearance, beliefs, emotions, and behaviors.
We feel like we can’t possibly have someone think bad things about us. We can't except the fact that we can't please everyone because we will try our hardest. Our image must be that of a good and honorable person. We couldn't possibly have anyone thinking that we are nothing less than "one of the good people".
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending”
Maria Robinson
Sometimes We Care too much what other people think of Us
Some people in this world care too much what others think of them and some people just don't give a shit what anyone thinks about them at all. Most of us do not want to be that person that doesn't care at all. Most people care about people and want to be nice to people. These are people like us. It's not a bad thing to care about people and have empathy for them.
It is when we need validation from other people because it's not enough to hear it from our own self; this becomes a problem. We want to be liked and validated so badly that we end up becoing people pleasers. At some point or another, we have all struggled with people-pleasing. Humans have the natural desire to fit in.
When this does become a problem, we need to recognize it.We don't want to be on either side of the spectrum where we care too much or where we don't care at all; we really should be towards the middle.
No one else can prove your self-worth.
True friends can help boost our self-worth, but only temporarily. Authentic, lasting personal validation exists when you value yourself within.People will not always have your best interest and we cannot please everybody. First off, we need to surround ourselves around positive people and people that want to better themselves. Listening to your relative that is always angry about everything or a friend that always sees the pessimistic side of things may not help you so much.
When we care too much about what others think about us and make it a habit, we send a message to our brain that says we can't look out for ourselves which triggers self-doubt and insecurity. We become deeply afraid of disappointing people and so we start doing everything possible to stay in everyones' good graces.
Images in advertising and media tend to limit the idea of beauty to one particular interpretation; it seems as though you have to look or act in a certain way to be considered beautiful or even average nowadays.
The Influence of the Media is A Wrong Distortion of How we need to Think about Ourselves
The influence of the media
Images of beautiful men and women are displayed everywhere from billboards to television advertisements. Fortunately, everyone does not look the same. But looking at models and movie stars often create a negative self-image in relation to these images. It can be extremely difficult to deal with the many different messages that are sent through TV, magazines, and movies, especially if they are reinforced by the people that you know personally!
I do think that it is a remarkable thing to allow yourself to be completely honest and completely exposed to those around you. But, I think the scariest part about allowing ourselves to be who we truly are is that it makes us vulnerable to others and their opinions. Because when we’re stripped down to our true selves, there is nothing to hide behind. And we fear rejection of acceptance. This is especially expressed when we are growing from a child to an adult.
Each of us is One of a Kind and Unique in our own Individual Way
Growing from teen to an adult, hormones changes happen very quickly, which can be both exciting and Scary. It’s important to realize and remind yourself that you have a body that is one-of-a-kind. Being one of a kind is a very good thing. Stop being so hard on yourself. It is particularly important to remember this if you’re feeling self-conscious about the way you look. Bodies come in all different shapes and sizes. There is no one “right” body size. Your body is not, and should not be, exactly like anyone else’s. Valuing and respecting your own body is a crucial part of a growing up healthy.
When you are an adult, it’s important to be a good role model about how you value yourself. If your kids hear you saying “I am just so fat, I need to lose weight”, they will develop the same values and feel the same way about their own body.
Children grow up with low self value if that is all they Know
Think of your feelings and inner knowing as an actual child - your inner child. If you had an actual child and you wanted to raise that child to feel very secure, loved and valued, how would you treat that child? How do you wish you had been treated as a child? This is how you need to treat yourself - your own inner child, if you want to become a self-validating person.
Why do we care about other people’s opinions, anyway? Granted, it’s human nature to be self-conscious, but letting others’ opinions of you dictate the person you should be is the wrong way to go.
We all want to be liked, but changing who you are just to be liked means you’re not actually liked for who you are.
It’s okay for each of us to have our own opinions and it is okay to listen to other people criticize you for your own good. I wouldn't recommend that you completely stop caring about what some people may say to you all together because sometimes we need to hear valuable feedback so that we can keep ourselves grounded. The real people that care in our lives will tell us when they think we are wearing something that doesn't look good. They will tell us our flaws so that we are aware of them.
The moment when you suddenly realize you don’t need anyone else to approve of everything you do is extraordinary
The moment when you suddenly realize that you don’t need anyone else’s approval is incredible. There is a sudden peace inside of you which will make you absolutely powerful and happy. It’s like you’ve suddenly wolk up and now you are free to be yourself. Your whole life will be completely different. You may find that for the first time in your life, you understand what it means to feel whole and complete.
But, how do you get to the point where you can let go of needing approval from others? If it's something you've been doing your whole life, you may not even be aware that you're doing it.
If someone criticizes you or disagrees with something you’d like to do, maybe it’s because of insecurities or unresolved issues.
Ask yourself: Can I live an Extraordinary Life if I'm dependent on the circumstances of others?
It's ok .....
if you don't get that compliment that you wanted to hear.
It's ok .....
for someone to think you are an asshole.
It's ok .....
if someone thinks your work is shit.
It ok .....
if someone mocks you/
Other Opinions Really Don't Matter
Think about what an an opinion is. An opinion is a thought. Someone else's opinion is someone else's thought. We all have our own thoughts that no one else ever hears or ever needs to know about because they are just thoughts. It is hard enough to control our own thoughts let alone the thoughts of others. Don't let someone else's thought control your life!
Keep on the path that was made for you. Stop saying yes to everything and everyone. You are no good to anyone or yourself if you put your own agenda to the side. Your own value and dreams are put off and you are not honoring yourself.
We all have a self-Image, a mental picture, of how we see ourselves and what we are like. Everywhere we go and everything we do, we are constantly having thoughts and judging people in our minds. When we see people walking down the street, we think about where they are going and look at whatever they are wearing. We see what they look like and wonder what we look like; and we do judge, just as they judge us.
In Conclusion...
Self-image is important because what we think about ourselves affects how we feel about ourselves. Self-image affects how we interact with others and the world around us. Self-image is a process that continues to change throughout a lifetime. A healthy self-image starts with caring adults who can positively shape the thinking of a child. Be that positive adult who can shape the thinking of today’s children.
No one else can prove your self-worth.
You are who you are, and that’s good enough.
You will have moments, even phases when you’ll doubt this, and that’s okay. Just remember: bad things are going to happen. Some people aren’t going to like you. If everyone did like then there would be something definitely wrong with you; you might need to worry. The world keeps going on no matter what is happening to us. The world does not revolve around just one of us. Stop focusing on just what your problems are and stop thinking everyone else is focusing on you as well.
Be proud of yourself and now is the time to start making even more moments to be proud of yourself.
No one will approve of everything you do. Not even you approve of everything you do. You have more than enough to be proud of and it is time to start making more.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2019 Stephanie Billon
