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Stupid Online Dating Mistakes

Updated on September 24, 2009

I have faith in online dating, I really do. I've met nearly-perfect men that way, so I know the good ones can be reeled in with a good USB cable. Sadly, the nearly-perfect men are roughly one in a million; which means the rest of that online dating lot has quite a bit to learn.

Today we're talking about stupid online dating mistakes that should be avoided at all costs. Each and every one of these situations has been experienced by yours truly. I probably shouldn't be admitting that, but, whatever. Learn from the mistakes made by those who have gone before you! Of course, there are loads more beyond what you see here; these are just the more recent ones I've experienced.

Lying About Your Age

I've done articles about this kind of thing, and I've blogged about it. I cannot stress enough how absolutely irritating it is to chat up a man you think to be 36 years of age -- only to discover he's actually 44. And let's not even get into the bit about him waiting 3 weeks to confess. There is nothing wrong with an older man; but there is surely something wrong with a lying one. Don't do it!

Sending a Form Letter

I've actually gotten 1000 word, first-contact emails from men completely around the world. We'll just ignore the part about that being way, way too much effort for a first email, and skip right to the part where he didn't even realize I was a native English speaker. This was clear from the things he mentioned in his email, including voicing the hope that my English would be high-level enough to communicate with him. If he'd bothered to read just the first line of the ad, he'd have realized I was American. But he didn't; he simply scanned the country I live in, selected my portrait, and clicked send.

Listing Yourself In a Country Other than the One You Live In

Some men are from country X, but currently live in country Y. These men ought to change their profiles to reflect the fact that they now live a million miles away -- but some of them don't. Instead, they contact women in their former country and make like their still just down the road. This is very uncool. At the same time, it's better than the men who are just on holiday for a week and send a wink your way -- along with a request for a tour guide. Sure thing, buddy. Lemme just get right on that.

Scary Photos

I was looking at a profile the other day, and I was thinking to myself, "Self, that's a cute black Lab that guy's got. Look at how happy he is, with that toy in his mouth." And then I went back a bit later and took another look. Scarily enough, that dog turned out to be a hunting dog, and the toy turned out to be something he had retrieved. Something he'd somehow lost part of somewhere along the way. I cannot tell you how freaked out I was by that photo -- enough that I won't even tell you what it was.

No Photo

Scary photos are bad, but no photos aren't far behind. I mean, if you're on an S&M site, I can understand why you might want to keep a low profile. But if you're on a mainstream site and you can't be arsed to include, or at least send, a photo with your initial contact, most of us womens aren't going to be arsed to return the email.

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