- Gender and Relationships
Dos and Donts of a Successful Relationship of a Husband and Wife-How to Live a Happy Life and Avoid Divorce
Statistics from the Government organizations and United Nations show that the divorce rate is on increase not only in the developed countries but throughout the world. Have a quick look at the current statistics of divorce rates in some of the countries around the world in the following graph.
Though we have read a lot about the topic of successful
relationships, we are almost always interested in learning more about
it. Even after reading great books, like 'Men are from Mars, Women are
from Venus' by John Gray, our interest does not fade away. This
behavior explains the psychology of us humans. We strive to be happy,
and one of the most important ingredients to live happily is to be on
good terms with your partner.
So here we are once again to have a quick look at what we should be reminding ourselves repeatedly to have a successful marriage. What you will find here is based on my experiences and the experiences of people I talked to about this issue.
The most important part, in my
opinion, is to keep an eye on yourself for 'behavior slips'. We
normally behave well with everybody and are usually vigilant in this
regard when we communicate and interact with people throughout our day.
But when it comes to our soul mate we somehow tend to shut our vigilant
eye. This hurts the other person a lot. We need to work a lot and
believe me if we try to mould ourselves accordingly it will no longer
appear to be a difficult task to us. So, start giving your special one
the required respect and you will be enjoying your life with your
No, no I do not want you to get
your hard earned money out of your pocket. Gifts are not necessarily
expensive. Gifts are a means of showing your love to the other person.
Anything simple, just to convey your love. This acts as a reminder that
you value your partner. Exchange of gifts is another important
ingredient to keep our married life on a happy track.
Just a little addition to this point. I have observed and have experienced myself too that in the initial stages of relationship we want to give gifts which are quite expensive according to our pockets. This is not a good practice as it is quite evident we could never be consistent. This will send a bad signal if we suddenly bring down the value of our gifts. So select proper gifts right from the beginning.
a good listener. Your partner expects a lot from you and the least is
that you will listen to him/her. This has a great impact on your
relationship. This builds the required trust. The more you listen, and
I mean listen carefully not just pretend that you are listening, the
more trust you will develop for your partner. They will count on you,
rather than looking for someone else to listen and solve their
Learn to let go!
We all are
sophisticated humans developed and nurtured in environments that are
unique to every individual. Something that turns us on might be a
turn-off for another person. One might have habits that are repugnant
to others. This is just natural as the environments in which we are
brought up have several distinct parameters and factors that impact our
personality. It is not ethical to show our disgust every time we witness
something we detest. Learn to let go. Ignore it. If you try to cleanse
others, like soap, you will waste away in the process.
...and hey did I forget to talk about love? Obviously not. Whatever I have written above will be nothing but a trash if there is no love between a husband and wife. Remember, there is no gain in pretending that you love your partner. Do you expect a fake to work as an original? then how come a fake love will result in a successful marriage? So, this brings us to the last point, which is to love with devotion. If in the course of life something negative develops in your mind about your spouse, never keep it to yourself. Sit together and have a candid discussion about it. Believe me, if both of you are sincere, you will shrug off all the differences and find a solution right away.
This is what I think matters most. Those who are treading the path of divorce or separation might avoid it if they at least learn to apply the steps mentioned above. There are a number of wonderful books written on the topic and you will also find a number of people providing professional advise in this regard. They all provide great help to couples in distress.
One last word and a point to ponder: We all talk and listen about rights, human rights, animal rights, blah blah, but how many of us take the rights of our spouse seriously? Do you know his/her rights? Let us all educate ourselves and our younger ones about it.